Boards No Contact Rule Will She Miss Me During No Contact if She’s over me?

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  • #106213
    matlivinglife
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    • Total Posts: 1

    I have a No Contact question. My ex and I broke up and moved out from our apartment about 2 months ago. It was a friendly split, and we remain friendly towards each other, and also we share the same group of mutual, close friends. (I can give more details of our relationship, the reasons we split due to a lost connection either in this thread or another post if needed, but basically I went through a period of depression which made me unavailable, emotionally, affectionately, etc. I became numb, and it affected the relationship, causing her to lose connection).

    About a month after we moved out, we met up for lunch, and things were great and friendly. We talked about what was going on, how she started her new job and career change, and she even said she missed me, and I told her how great it was to see her and that we should get together more often. About two weeks later, I fully come out of my depression, realized how much I miss her, and reach out. I told her I missed her, how amazing she is, and that I wanted to try again. She was friendly with me, we talked, but said she didn’t want to get back together, that she’s focusing on herself and her new career, which she said can seem overwhelming at times. She said she felt like our year living together was us trying it out. She didn’t say it was too late for us, but hinted at it. I had told her that I’m better, and want to fix things and move forward with her, but she said, “I don’t want that right now.” I told her I understood, and accepted it.

    As I said we have the same group of friends. About a week after this, we were all hanging out together. I made sure I was friendly with her without talking about the relationship, and I was even able to make her laugh, which felt good. She’s friendly with me, but a little standoffish. Since then I’ve started No Contact, not just to give myself space and healing, but to give her space as well. That was about ten days ago. Yesterday, I stopped by said mutual friends house, and her car was there, but she had gone out shopping with my friend’s wife. I hung out for a bit, but decided to leave before she got back. I know she would’ve been told that I stopped by for a bit, which means she knows I didn’t stay to wait around for her. We’re still friends on Facebook, but I’m not messaging her there, or on text. I don’t want to push her away. My question is: Is it possible for my ex to miss me during No Contact if I think she may be over me? Or is she still going through the same healing as I am?

    #107545
    patricia12
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2868

    Yes, it’s possible she will miss you during no contact, but it doesn’t mean she wants you back! She made it very clear that she doesn’t want a relationship with you now. You lived together for an entire year and yet she made the drastic step of breaking up and you both moved out of the apartment you were sharing. Depression is a serious issue and most often is only helped by therapy. I hope you’re doing better, but now you have the breakup to deal with that can be depressing just in itself. Don’t contact her and find other things to do with your time. Yes, she has to heal and so do you! Breakups are difficult on the emotions, but in time, you’ll both feel much better!

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