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I just need a bit of help trying to figure out the message from my Ex. Although, I know the essential message is that she needs space (and i’ll happily give it to her!), I wanted to know more about what her possible mindset might be – that is, is she giving me a chance down the road? …do I have CHANCE of getting this girl back?
So she broke up with me and she made sure to state that it was as done as dinner…that it was over for good. After a month of NC I approached her and said I wanted to be friends….she softened up and said not “right now”.
I sent a handwritten letter a few weeks later and she responded back VERY kindly to it and said the stuff I wrote makes the other boys look like kids and that it was thoughtful and sweet, but again said she needs space.
But she also said that chatting/emailing would complicate the “sequence of things” between us. What sequence is she talking about???
She also asked me if I can guarantee this space for ourselves for the “next while”
What does that tell you?
I’m currently a week into a no contact period. I’ll try and do it for 90 days before I try and say hello again.
Maybe she knows about the no contact rule too. I think the sequence of things means her own process of deciding to get back with you.. it sounds like u have a chance… she didn’t say no to you.. she just needs time. Wear killer colonge the next time ya meet… us ladies can’t resist a killer scent.
I don’t think u should wait that long man maybe wait a month for her to respond to u and then move on… u have a life too. But its your choice how u spend it.
honestly, im a girl.and basically all we want is attention of our lover. if she really is neglecting you this much, she isnt worth fighting for. i wish i could have another chance with my ex, but you need to follow the article again and im suggesting another 30 days of no contact. just try to focus all your energy on someone else, if you cant do that, you are going to have to try harder for her to notice you but not in obvious ways. use you most romantic ideas but whatever you do, dont be stupid and try to get her jealous. THAT ONLY PUSHES GIRLS FURTHER AWAY!
i hope you find comfort in this crappy paragraph. good luck, and remember if shes just not even looking at you, SHE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.@aylink – She is very much worth my time, and I want to do my best to get her back. Her last email to me just asked for space. I told her in my previous email that if she wanted me to stop contacting her for good, she just had to tell me, but she never did that….that is hard to ignore! She just said she wanted space and that being friends “right now” would not be ideal.
@catwomann – So are you saying that even though i’m going to give her the space and time she is asking for, she will need to be the person to contact me? This girl is extremely rational and straightforward. I don’t want to just do NC for a month coz I did that once already and she asked for more space. 3 months is the only logical amount I can come up with.
For what it’s worth, i’m sorta seeing another girl….but my heart (at the moment) is still firmly focused on the Ex.
I dated her for about 1 year. And the one thing I got from her is when she makes up her mind, she will tell you exactly what it is. If she means to never see me again or thinks it’s impossible to do something, she will say it.
SO, for her to say those words I mentioned in my first post (ie. not saying “no” or or telling me to “stop”) tells me a lot. BUT! i’m SO WORRIED that i’m in denial….that i’m trying to see something that is not really there.
What do you guys think?
The whole OTHER side to this breakup – and it’s the actual reason she broke up with me – has to do with religion.
She is a devout Christian…and i’ve only been going to Church regularly for about 5 months. She knows that it will take some time for me to develop religiously and spiritually. I’d like to think she wants this space partly to allow this personal development to happen in my life.
She left me because I wasn’t religious…..but she knows now that i’m very focused on the Church. Could this space she wants be more for me to develop? or more for her?
What do you guys think?
z
bump!
just wondering if anyone has other comments on this?
I’m currently approaching 1 month of NC, but i’ll continue it for another 3 months and then see where I stand. Hopefully at that point i’ll be closer to a place where I won’t really care if she comes back to me or continues to be cold and distant.
In the meantime, i need to work on myself and get control of my emotions and give way to the more logical, rational and fun side.
z
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