What is going on now?

hmm..that post is kind of what i was getting at about n/c being dangerous, just put together better…

now, analyze what you just said. You naturally assumed the worse. Which means it hit a nerve. Now imagine if you were out in public and the “surprise” popped up and there she was with someone else…she’d read you like a book. (I’m not talking negative about you)

So, there comes a time where you have to put some things in motion that YOU can control..in the end, it’s your life. If she’s opened the door for you to text, then do so. TRY TRY TRY to set up some type of false friendship…that puts you a little closer to where you wanna be. Figure out some ways to remind her about good things…you’re past the n/c rule

The “love” looks will come, but you gotta break down her walls. If she’s setting dinner for 2, then she’s looking… 1) is her posting stuff like that normal, or odd? 2) think back, did she post a lot of stuff like that when you were together?

GIGS??

have you tried interacting with her…being active instead of passive. Remember, at one time you were active with her, and passive is not alpha male (unless you’re dating someone else)

Ask her to just hang out. If you still want something with her, you need to move forward… or maybe you’re OK with letting it go. No contact only works for so long, until they become numb, or indifferent. Just because she’s still “liking things” doesn’t mean she’s not becoming indifferent. Interact with her and push some buttons…good or bad, you just want a reaction…get her to interact with YOU. You’re in a better place, so it’s time to move forward. Is a friendship at a distance what your heart really wants? If she’s the ONE, start working on bringing her back. Forget Tinder and some of the other things… she’s in the “safe zone” so to speak as well. She’s still part of your life, but from a distance. Start reminding her the grass isn’t greener, and you’re in the better pasture

but you hafta give them something to pursue…which is what RR says about creating a false friendship. That doesn’t mean you’re lying or manipulating. You hafta get back to a point where you once were..where you could talk…and thinking back, in my experience, when you first start “dating”, it’s kind of a false friendship anyway, on both parts. The difference is women have a better ability to compartmentalize things, or put you in a category. There’s a difference between making yourself scarce, and ignoring them completely. Scarce builds intrigue and wonder…totally ignoring builds indifference.

The other thing the friendship does is help YOU figure out what YOU want.. if you want something more, it opens the door. If you’re content with just being friends, it makes it happen and helps get over the awkward moments.

you hafta create some opportunities.

Just real quickly..my x and i met up a lil over a month ago, went out to eat, then she turned cold again. I kept in touch and kept things friendly. I’ve tried to just be a friend, because in the end, if something is gonna happen, we hafta get back to being friends first like we used to be…that’s where trust starts over… anyway, a few weeks ago, i told her i wanted to take her and her son to something i thought he’d enjoy, and i have the extra money…she said no thanks… kept talking, and this last weekend, i said i wanted to treat him to something for his birthday. Finally, she agreed, and then she ends up giving me her new phone number (BIG step forward)… took them out, and just had fun with him. He’s a great kid, but i mentioned other stuff in my other posts b4. Anyway, we’ve kinda talked a little since as well…but to me, it’s about getting her back to trusting me, and me trusting her. None of it woulda happened if I just “let it go”. Sure, it’s a risky chance, but i created opportunities.

So, have you dated anyone else? There’s an old saying…they way not want you, but they don’t want another having you….don’t just post comments…show her something.

You have made really good progress emotionally, something to proud of. Keep doing great. BTW what exactly is GIGS? Can you share details as I am doing NC but sometimes feels uncertain, though so much positive. Appreciate your help, also if you can reply to my last topic. 🙂

Oh, though the first link is not working but second one explains it all, and it meets all the criteria the way my ex behaved, EXACTLY almost same age, she even was planning for marriage and I pushed it more, even after NC. Everything mentioned about it just explains it.

Superb, and I believe the best bet in this case to continue NC, give lot of space and once they contact, stay friendly and let them initiate things, and comply with feeding trust, so they could feel they are in control. The article says reconciliation happens less but I believe using RR it should be easy, with lot of patience.

Thanks a ton, great knowing this!!!

“Yes I have. I have done it all. Ive been on a few dates, not kissing or sex. I did friends with benefits, sex dates, and recently I dated a girl (3 dates)… We only kissed, nothing else. So yes, I have done it all…” i’m confused…u said you haven’t had sex or kissed, but then said u had friends w benefits and sex dates…

It’s not her being pathetic, because it’s renting space in your head. Women are better at head games..and it’s no different than you posting a vague statement when you hung out with someone. I’d say more than likely, there is another guy. Serious or not is irrelevant, THERE IS ANOTHER GUY. So…if you are the alpha, you need to make her see the greener grass on your side.

Sorry bud, but you passively missed the opportunity to create a meet up. Waiting to “run into her” is passive, and not Alpha. If she liked that you were out with friends, great. now go further. What do you have to lose? You don’t have her right now. Next time you’re hanging out with you female friend, post about it. Whether it’s at her house, the laundry mat, a bar..whatever. Be real about it, and post the friends name. Jealousy is a powerful motivator…it’s motivating you, right! IF she’s dating, then you’re losing her attention. Now,that doesn’t mean be a JEALOUS jerk, but it’s up to you to reignite that spark. Find something to take you to her town…something you’re legitimately interested in, especially if you have friends there. Then do a simple post like “can’t wait to catch up with XXX so and so XXXX this weekend at the ___________. She’ll know, and get the point. If she likes it, wait a while, then send her a message. “hey, i’ll be in town, and i missed ya last time you were home, you wanna meet up for a couple of hours to catch up?” She’ll probably say nah because it’s a cat and mouse game, so you hafta start showing alpha again Reassure her it’s nothing serious. Even if she says no again, go through with the plans and post pics. You hafta SHOW her you’re getting on with your life.