What is going on now?

what did/have you done during the NC to improve yourself? Besides the positive changes in your life, have you actually gone out on at least one date? If she was contacting you a lot after the 1st NC, maybe you made it too easy. Have you tried relationship rewind? Sounds like you’re in switch, but you can’t let her get to drift (where she feels indifferent), and going strictly no contact can do just that. There’s a lot of info in that program. Depending on the “stage”, it gives advice for NC or not to use NC. One of the strategies is to subtly remind her of Blissful moments. Start with a “False Friendship”, then move to a face to face meet-up. Subtly plant bliss reminders, which kinda goes along with Jbarbera saying send mixed signals. One minute you’re OK with just being friends, but the next you subtly remind her of something good/great… it plants the seed, which becomes HER idea.

Sometimes, you just have to make her mad, REALLY mad. This evokes an emotion, and gets her out of indifference. Which can be done with Facebook, and using other girl “friends”…or, actually go out on dates. Women are JUST as competitive as men. Get VERY active on FB (even if you removed her, she’ll be watching). It’s highly probable that she’s focused on school, and work, and if she’s an athlete, working out. She’s probably using them as distractions to keep HER mind busy off missing you, and moving toward indifference. Even just hanging out as “friends” can give you opportunity to flirt with other women… or even better, if you have a really good female friend, arrange so she’s present when you’re hanging out as a “friend” with the x. There’s an old saying: they may not want you, but they don’t want another one having you. As you said, she wasn’t “all that” a couple of years ago. If she’s using you to stroke her ego, use that against her. But you have to prepare yourself, because she will probably strike back, and go out with someone else. You have to show you’re OK with the breakup, accepted it, and are now indifferent.

well, agreeing to workout, then not following through and removing her from social media is more than mixed signals. At first, she might have been waiting on your to follow through with working out, and she hasn’t heard from you, she might think you’re inconsiderate and just being an A-hole. Have you suggested being “friends”? You were right there with her agreeing to workout, so you know she’s receptive to the idea. But i think i’d do something different, something to take her out of her comfort zone. Especially since working out is part of her “solution” to you. Being a regular workout partner might solidify you in the “friend zone” the wrong way. Work on being a friend, but in other ways, doing other things (kinda like dates, but not really), getting out, going places, doing things, etc.

I understand the reason why you deleted her off FB. I kinda did the same (to protect myself, and to also piss her off), and had mixed results (read mine if you want). If she asks, you probably need a good reason… I just needed space to clear my head to decide what I wanted (you taking charge), and I think we should just be friends (or something like that).

I’d say the post WAS aimed at you (to reassure YOUR “fragile” ego that she’s not doing anything, but her “ego” is still being built up by you), but also telling others to back off (there’s also the thing if she tells guys she’s unavailable, there will be some that take it as a challenge). She’s dropping a hint. Do some fun and exciting stuff, especially if it’s something you talked about while you were with her (like a bucket list type thing)…even better, do something the 2 of you talked about doing together, except with another girl (which is more dangerous, will probably make her wanna get revenge, but also make her mad as hell).

wow..i feel your pain. My girl kinda did something similar…told everyone I was close to how happy she was, how great I was, she’s never been treated so good..then within 2-3 weeks, bam, it was on the way out… Mine was a combination of her ex had just started seeing someone, then her youngest son wanted to go see his son, and I wasn’t working (and she had to go to court over her oldest daughters biological father, who owes her $25 grand in back child support). The point is the stress of a lot of things will sometimes make them do irrational things, put their defenses up, and throw away something great.

You said you removed her, did you block her as well? Here’s why….if you’re trying to evoke an emotion, you need to block her. Cut off access to you and what’s going on with you…you’re trying to reverse the switch. Just removing her also tells her you’re moving forward, but doesn’t get the “I can’t believe he did that” emotion. Also, if it was the right move for you feeling better, then it was the right move period. It’s about you at this point. I know it’s counter-intuitive, you don’t wanna rock the boat, etc… but where are you now? Again, maybe it’s time to get her mad. Get her out of the Cold, icy, and indifferent, and get her fired up, passionate, and pissed off. 1)you have nothing to lose, if she stays cold and indifferent you get nowhere. 2) Fired up gets her blood pumping, then you can get her to calm down, and remind her of something great, and it knocks her off balance.

2 possibilities: 1) I hate to say it, but there’s the possibility there’s already someone else. The “I wish guys would quit bothering me” may not be just for your benefit, but another’s as well. That doesn’t mean she’s “serious” with someone, but there might be someone in the picture…. especially if you live away.
2) Since you did the “let’s workout” next time i’m in town, she probably see’s that as “he’s trying to hold on”/needy. Drop the friend bomb on her. There’s a real possibility she just needs you as her friend, while she sorts out the other stresses in her life. She understands the risk of losing you, which is why she’s keeping a short string around you (as you said, stroking her ego). Doing things like you did before can send the wrong signal. She knows you two got along, working out, etc… you have to get her out of that comfort zone as a “friend”.

Sometimes you have to fake it before you make it. As you said, if she was forcing herself to be so “cold”, that’s exactly what she was doing. You may not be completely over your neediness, until it’s too late. Since you live out of town, what’s the odds that you’d accidentally bump in to her and it not seem planned (be honest)? If you have a chance, google search Relationship rewind pdf…it’s out there. You’re on the right track, but figure out how you can gain the upper hand in the “friendship” battle. That’s why it’s called a “false friendship”. You’re showing that things don’t bother you, you’re ok with things (even when you’re not), and you accepted things. If you haven’t already, accept that what you had is over. It sucks and hurts…but there’s a plus side. For whatever reason it’s over, that means something went wrong. You don’t wanna do that again, so you have a chance to make it better. If she felt as strong as you say she did, which I don’t doubt, you hafta hit those feelings again.

anything new?