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So I know that we’re allowed to respond to things like, “Are you alive”, “You better not be dead you as******” and ect.
So when we do respond to that, what if they get upset and ask why we haven’t responded to anything else of theirs? I mean we’re not really suppose to tell them that we’re doing a NC. I just don’t want her to feel like I’m doing this to play some mind game with her.Thanks
For my understanding, please correct me if I wrong. I believe it is good to let them upset, as both sides need to learn living by ourselves. You can just pretend you are not in town due to a 1 month business trip, I think. Should they call you when you’re not available. I don’t think so. See if this trick can help. 🙂
Mattyboy,
I think this topic Kevin wrote that you should read for helping your situation.
No contact isn’t a mind game man. It’s for you to grow and become independent. When people are in relationships, one of them usually makes one unhealthy mistake, which is becoming to dependent on their partner which makes them look needy. You shouldn’t need someone to be happy with yourself, that’s why you use no contact so you can become happy by yourself. Nobody really ever knows if their ex will come back and even if they do, if you haven’t used no contact properly and learned from your mistakes and decide to just jump right back into it, it will just ultimately fail again. Don’t worry is she gets mad, you don’t have to explain anything to her to be honest, remember she left you. Which means there are no strings attached. Sure if you guys happen to run into eachother (not on purpose) and she makes contact, be polite that’s all and keep it short and walk away. You want her thinking about where you been, what your doing. If she knows how your doing, what your doing after your break up, it’ll just make it that much easier for her to fully walk away from you. So stick to NC, trust me bro.. I know it’s hard and gut wrenching, I went through it and it helped me and me and my ex are currently in the talking stage and already had one successful meet up and planned another one this week. You know what the difference is now? Now that I had to think and I’m not thinking emotionally because of the breakup, I’ve had time to reflect and really understand what went wrong and how to fix it.
Hey, thanks for the responses and input!
I understand the importance of NC it’s just sometimes I find myself trying to find holes in its logic so that I can have an excuse to break it haha. She tried texting me a couple times the other day saying that she’s doing really good in work but I didn’t respond. Or are we suppose to respond to those sorts of things for positive encouragement? I understand the not talking about relationships, feelings and the sort but are we suppose to respond with positive reinforcement to things like her doing good at work or do I just stay laying low?
Also, I have a giant human sized stocking that has a couple gifts in it, that I was going to give her for Christmas but I’m not sure if that’s going against anything either haha. That and if I do give it to her then that means I’ll have to break NC and meet up with her for, hopefully, only 5 minutes or so. I figured that after that I would restart my 30 day NC and just have to tough it out through new years.
Anyways, thanks for the input and responces. It’s really helpful to hear this stuff coming from people in similar situations
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