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My ex and I were together 7yrs. He left after having an affair at the end of our relationship and after 3 months moved in with her. It’s now been 6 months since our split.
We are currently on holiday together (family birthday trip booked last year that his parents still wanted me to attend)
I thought it would be uncomfortable but from day 1 he’s been all over me. We’ve had sex every night and although I know I shouldn’t have without him committing to getting back with me I couldn’t help it.. I want to be with him so much!
What does this mean?
Am I a ‘holiday fling’
Something to pass the time as he’s away from his gf or is there something still there?
I don’t know how to approach him and talk to him about ‘us’
I fear that when we get home I’ll be brushed off and feel shit again back to square 1.
The fact we have kids, a mortgage and we’re due to get married makes me think that there is something there still but don’t know how to progress things when we get home!
Any help or advice greatly appreciated.
Please don’t judge me for sleeping with him. Thank you x@leahsfx – I understand why you would agree to have sex with him. You loved him and spent 7 years together, and have children with him. You still love him although trust has been broken. I would hope the reason he is so affectionate is because he still has loving feelings toward you, but you won’t know for sure until he says so or you ask him. Tell him you want to be a family again and ask what his thoughts are about it. If he decides to leave the other woman, start out slow by dating and having great times together in order to create new fun memories. The holiday you’re on now will also contribute to a fond memory for him toward you alone and not her. Make the most of it by being the fun and exciting girl he fell in love with a long time ago.
Right now he’s probably in the infatuation stage with her as men tend to get excited about a new woman, but it won’t last. He will eventually think of his family and what he lost.
Wish you the best:)Thank you for the response.
I am back from the holiday now and on the last day we had a long and emotional chat. He admits to still loving me and regrets leaving me and is very sorry for what he has done. However, he admitted his situation is difficult as not only has he moved in with this women (1yr lease) he also works with her. I said if he meant what he said about me then he would fight for me and take the shit that comes with ending things with her and left it at that. He has text since with loving messages and has asked to meet up for drinks which I’ve agreed too but fear without a commitment from him he will be getting the best of both worlds. Not sure how to play this one really!? I know I need a commitment from him before any more intimacy but I think he’s too much of a coward to end things with her!Thank you for the response.
I am back from the holiday now and on the last day we had a long and emotional chat. He admits to still loving me and regrets leaving me and is very sorry for what he has done. However, he admitted his situation is difficult as not only has he moved in with this women (1yr lease) he also works with her. I said if he meant what he said about me then he would fight for me and take the shit that comes with ending things with her and left it at that. He has text since with loving messages and has asked to meet up for drinks which I’ve agreed too but fear without a commitment from him he will be getting the best of both worlds. Not sure how to play this one really!? I know I need a commitment from him before any more intimacy but I think he’s too much of a coward to end things with her!@leahsfx – It seems you were together 7 years, had a child, but never got married? Anyway, when you meet up for drinks, tell him you won’t be having sex with him anymore while he’s with the other woman. After that, don’t initiate any texts or calls. If he contacts you, respond with short casual comments. I don’t think ultimatums usually work in most situations, but maybe you have to force him to make a decision if he is the cowardly type. Maybe say you will start dating in 2 months if he doesn’t come back to the woman he professes to love (you). You could add if he doesn’t want to be a father to his kids in a proper family setting, that you will find a good man who loves and wants to be with you and the kids.
.. or say something to that effect. He has to know he might lose you and his family forever. I know it seems drastic, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You know him best and if you think this plan might backfire, don’t do it. But as time goes by, he gets more emotionally attached to the other woman and it will be more and more difficult to leave her.
I’m very sad about your situation and even more sad for the kids. Keep us posted..
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