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This is so difficult and heartbreaking for me. I can only imagine what he feels. I know he wanted to get back together, but he has so much on his plate right now. He works full time in finance, is in his last year of his MBA, and is taking the CFA in December. He’s also a new homeowner, recently found out he has a gluten allergy, and he may need rotator cuff surgery. Take all of this, and add on to the fact that he has anxiety. Not just average anxiety that we all get from time to time, but anxiety that he needs to treat with medication.
I don’t know what to do. I know even without his anxiety in the question establishing a relationship would be so difficult right now, and his anxiety is making him feel even more pressure. I was willing to do everything to make it work: study sessions, scheduling in time for us to be together, be there for him when he needed me to be. I know how rare what we have is, and he does too. In any other situation I’d just say “Well I’m clearly not a priority” and walk away. But it’s not that simple here.
Have any of you experienced something similar?
Having had bouts of crippling anxiety in the past, it is kind of nice to have someone there to talk to. You always need to be calm, cool, and collected around an anxious person, but if you can help them through some of their issues, they’ll love you forever.
Just continue to be there for him. You may not be instantly gratified with a reconciliation, but he’ll remember what you did for him. We tend to gravitate toward those who genuinely care about us, so give him that, and see where it goes from there.
Thank you for responding to this. Unfortunately, I’m not exactly sure where to go from here. Up to this point, every action had indicated he wanted to get back together, then at the last minute said he wouldn’t have time for a relationship right now. I’m confused, as he knew what he was getting into this semester yet still acted the way he did. I genuinely don’t think he’s the type to intentionally lead me on either.
Several weeks ago he took something I said the wrong way, and didn’t speak to me for a week. Then he reached out to me via text, which is something in general he himself has said he doesn’t do. Asked how I had been, and I was honest with him. I said I had been okay I guess, and that I had been a little worried about him. No response again for a week, when he sends me picture of a hippo… which makes no sense. I responded to that, saying it was cute, and again no response. WTF?! So a couple days after I sent him a text that read as follows: “It was nice of you to reach out, I know that’s not something you normally do. But when you don’t respond, it kind of feels like a game.” No response to that. Can anyone make sense of this, because I know I can’t!
Prior to these exchanges, I had told him that I don’t think I can be just friends with him, and that if he changed his mind he knew where to find me. Right now I’m thinking going NC again. What do y’all think? Any advice?
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