What do I even say to her?

Thank you for the reply. It’s not that easy to move on though is it? I know I should, no question about it. I’ll see if she has anything to say when we meet and make a decision there. I know she still has feelings for me, this shouldn’t be as difficult as she makes it which is so frustrating!

We met last night and it was horrendous. I told her what I want from a relationship and life in general and a way we could resolve all this but she admitted she feels no remorse for the way she’s treated me, she looked me in the eye and said she’ll always love me and care about me but she feels absolutely nothing romantically for me anymore, she feels she’s happier on her own. It was devastating, she’s never done that before. She’s emailed today and asked how I am in terms of my health but as I said to her last night, we need to cut all contact. I can’t be friends and be around when she meets someone else in the future.

As hard as it is to admit to myself, I need to move on.

Just an update for you. Part of the reason why she wants to move on is because of my ex wife, I was with married when we first met, she was too. Nothing happened until after the split but she was besotted with me and I didn’t know, it hurt her a lot and she can’t get over it. This was like 6 years ago.
I’ve not been feeling too well and my ex wife, the mother of my children, asked if I’d like to walk with them. I’ve not left the house in a week so agreed…you’ve guessed it, she walks past. What followed was a barrage of irate messages saying she felt nothing, she wasn’t bothered and how relieved she feels etc. If she wasn’t bothered and she is over me, why would she get so mad?

We all live within a two mile radius but I went to a nearby town with my ex wife and children just to get out of the house, I need a bit of assistance at the moment and we still have a good relationship for the children’s sake. It was literally a one in a million chance of bumping into her on a country road.
If she genuinely felt nothing when she seen us together then I’m sure a few nice messages would have followed rather than anger, I was visably struggling to walk.
I’m suffering with nerve damage, face, hands and feet so I can’t walk far, may be more to it though so it’s a worrying time. I know I need to concentrate on myself.

Still not sure of the cause, waiting on a referral to a neurologist.

So things have moved on, we’ve messaged a little and it’s getting less and less. Nothing to get excited about, any attempt at arranging to meet or talk has been met with a swift no within seconds. I’m coping OK and started the healing and moving on process, even went on a date.
Something strange happened, I had a missed call from her in the middle of the night so I reached out, she said she never called me as she was fast asleep but it was definitely her number. She knows I have a lot to say about the last few years and she said rather than meet can I put it in an email. So I’ve poured everything out, things she doesn’t know, how I felt, why things happened. I’ve told her where I’m going to be this weekend and it would be great to see her. I know I’m clutching at straws but I haven’t had a no yet, I’m hoping I’ve at least given her something to think about. If she doesn’t show I’ll block her on social media, her phone number etc and not look back, I know I can now.

It’s one side of my face, hands, feet and legs mainly. Changed my medication last week so hoping that helps. Mainly burning sensation/pain and numbness. I started wearing glasses in December too just for my left eye, the side of the discomfort.

Things have changed dramatically. I cut contact since the email and was feeling ok about it, I stopped checking my phone. She messaged yesterday to say she’s not going anywhere this weekend because she’s poorly, I took this as she was going to be there if she was well, also that she hasn’t read the email properly. Last time she was ill she was stuck in the house with no food, none of her family dropped anything off for her. So I left some supplies on her doorstep, I regret this now but I still care. I messaged to tell her they were there and she replied with ‘OK thanks’ and nothing since. I didn’t do the good deed for a reaction or a pat on the back but manners cost nothing. My friends tell me in blinkered when it comes to her, they’re absolutely right.
I deserve better than this.

She read the email and it made no difference. The last messages from her said how she doesn’t miss me, doesn’t even think about me and she has absolutely no feelings. I find that hard to believe but she’s made herself clear. Said she’s happier and thriving at work because I’m not a distraction to her and she’s not anxious anymore. She had no reason to be anxious about me, yes I got asked for my phone number on occasion or the odd message on social media but it was never wanted and I was always honest about it so that feels a bit unfair. She clearly has deeper issues which I’ve pointed out. She had all her ex husbands passwords too. She did on occasion ruin a few nights out without her too.
So that’s that, no contact from now on. I don’t expect to hear from her again.

Thanks for your help