Update. not sure whats happening! kinda good kinda bad news

Update below!!!

My name is Matt I’ve been with my high school sweetheart for almost four years we’ve broken up twice cause I kissed another girl when I was 17. and because of a argument we had over the amount of time we spent together and some other things but each time we came back and our relationship was stronger then ever.

I’m 21 now and she is 19 and these thing were far in the past. and we had a strong bond, Im in the army and left for 9 months and she waited for me and wrote me everyday, we got engaged after came back but after the second break up she no longer wore the ring and we no longer had a wedding date. she did keep the ring and we talked about marriage again awhile later. however 1 1/2 months ago me and her got into a little argument which resulted in me texting something and her misinterpreting it as a break up text. the next day she posted a part of our conversation on facebook. the caption was “how my boyfriend of 4 years breaks up with me” we then argued about who broke up with who and she is convinced I broke it off over text. I then ignored her and she kept texting me for about four days. I Responded on the fifth day and proceeded to text her everyday asking her to fix the relationship and begging her to talk this out and I never got a reply.

She heard about the death of my grandfather later that month and said sorry for my loss and what not, but she never replied after that. I then called her and she hung up on me and I told her it was important and she called back and I tried talking to her about what happened. She kept telling me it was to late to fix and that she was mad about all these things and told me I should have called sooner or came to her house. (which I would have done if she would have responded to my messages) she said I put no effort into fixing the relationship and wants to stay single and try with someone else.

This was unusual to me because we loved each other so much and she was always quick to fix things in our past break ups. I then started writing letters and buying flowers for her and sending them to her house. I also text her brother and hang out with him sometimes and he would tell me she liked the flowers and the letters. I made her a video of all our pictures we took together and even made her a cd and left them at her doorstep (her brother confirms that’s she received what I left) and him and I hang out which she doesn’t like but he’s a good friend of mine. He also says she has not been on any dates with guys or has introduced any new guy friends.

He says she has been hanging out with this friend of hers Josie (it’s a girl) they’ve been friends for awhile but didn’t hang out much. But now she doing all this stuff with her all the time and hanging out with her non-stop. the problem is, is this girl doesn’t really like me cause of super old high school drama, and she always been super jealous of mine and my ex’s relationship (it was like the one thing she couldn’t have type thing) she always one upping my ex so I think she’s trying to keep us apart.

Anyways my efforts did not make her contact me so I went to her apartment and confronted her and she kind of freaked out at first telling me to leave and stop leaving letters and she didn’t want to be with me and that she wants to date other people. but then she relaxed and we talked about what’s been going on and we went to olive garden and we talked just like friends would, about random things and about how life has been. I drove her home and walked her up stairs and she said “nice talk” and walked inside, her brother told me when she walked inside she instantly got on the phone with the friend I previously talked about and he said they talked for hours. I later texted her thanking her for talking about the situation and that it was good to see her and that I miss her and received no response.

I later got into a car accident and was not seriously hurt. she heard about it and I received a text from her saying “I heard about your accident, I hope you’re okay!!” I waited about a day and then told her I was fine and that I’ve been having a bad couple months and she never replied. I’m confused because we had such a strong relationship and it shouldn’t have ended the way it did, I don’t want to accept that its over and I honestly cant believe it.

I feel like Josie is causing her to be indecisive and she’s trying to keep us apart. I’m not sure what to do and I cant stop thinking about her and what she’s doing. I’ve already broke some of the no contact rules. But I feel like she still cares but is just confused on what to do. I need advice! is it to late to fix this? I truly love this woman and I feel like I cant live without her, please help!!

Update-
Okay So I’ve been doing no contact however last night I drank to the point that I was taken to the ER and had alcohol poisoning. My Ex came to the hospital because someone told her what happened but by the time she got there I was gone. She later contacted me today saying how worried she was and not to do that again. We discussed whats been going on and she sent me this text

“Matt to be completely honest I will always love you, you were my first love. and ill never forget the feelings and memories we shared. however, everything we have gone to has lead me to the point of insecurity with our relationship. to be honest I was jealous, insecure with myself, and became worried. I know ive told you in the past that ive forgiven you for the things that happened but in reality I will never be able to forget them. ive tried so many times. im afraid that a year down the road the same thing is going to happen and im going to be left here hurt and alone”

We talked more and she told me that in the three and a half years we were together that shes been hurt to many times. she says that breaking up 3 times in 3 1/2 years is not normal and she is not willing to get hurt a fourth time and that I only fight for our relationship when we break up and she stops caring. I apologized for everything and then I told her how amazing of a person she is and how grateful I am for the times we spent together. then told her to never feel alone because I will always be there for her if she needs me I followed up by telling her that I have no choice but to respect her decision.

Now I believe ill continue no contact. What do you all advise me to do now???