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I am on day 5 of NC and was in a long distance relationship. He and I got into it because he wont define our relationship. I informed him that I gave out my number and he went crazy. So I said ok well I wont date this other guy if you don’t want me too. He confined me to just texting it out rather than talking it out which I find childish and I told him so.. I felt this problem was easy to solve but he wants to be stubborn. I left the phone that I contact him at my Moms so I couldn’t check the text. But today I was involved in a near death experience situation with my car spinning on the interstate at night. Im ok but that put my life into perspective a bit.. It made me want to call him tell him what happened to me and to tell him again that I love him ask him point blank are we talking or not so I can just get on with my life. But he barely answers his phone and I haven’t attempted to call him since he stopped picking up my phone calls and confined me to just texting and I don’t want to look needy. I know I’m just maybe emotional right now because of the accident. I’m at my moms visiting because I don’t want to be on the road and I wanted to know if he called or text.. so I checked and Nothing.. I could have died and Nothing. He never said we were over. I just decided not to text him because I did all the begging. I did everything wrong all 5 of the things I wasn’t suppose to do within 2 days and it didn’t work. Then I found this site. Now I’m trying to maybe look for ways to get out of doing NC. He was suppose to visit me in this month but he never could tell me when. A little advice please.. I haven’t broken NC yet.. I’m still shaken up by this but im going to be strong tonight.
My situation is kind of similar to yours. We got into a fight right around New Year’s and he never actually said we were done but he stopped taking my phone calls and would not even respond to texts. Initially I kept calling/texting and probably came off desperate and needy. After a couple of weeks I decided to do the 30 day no contact rule. After the 30 days I texted him (just asked how he was doing) and he actually responded – all very neutral responses and a short conversation. Since then we have talked several more times and the conversations have been longer and friendlier. I suggested meeting for lunch a week ago and of course he was busy, so that was disappointing.
I would suggest continuing with your 30 days of no contact and then text him once it is over. Let him realize that you won’t always be around whenever we decides to contact you. Don’t let everything just be on his terms. Maybe it will be a wake up call for him. For what it’s worth, I think the 30 days of no contact has at least led to some progress in my situation. I understand you wanting to contact him to tell him about the accident, but you are only on day 5 of no contact and you need more time before this can have a real impact.
Can you maybe take a look at my most recent post “How Long After No Contact Before Suggesting to Meet” and give me your opinion? Thanks.
I am glad that you’re okay.
I would suggest you to keep doing the nc and feel better about the situation.
You might probably get hurt if you again contacted him and he acted in the same manner like he did before.
Try to be strong and happy without him. Give him some time to miss you.I feel much better now thank you. I wasn’t hurt my car and me came out without a scratch. I was lucky and blessed. I hit a patch of snow on the interstate last night right along the shoulder in the slow lane although the rest of the interstate was clear. I was going at a pretty nice speed and thank God nobody was driving around me at all. My cars rear shifted to the right then to the left. I turned the wheel in the opposite directions of how I was sliding as they taught me in driving school years ago both times. My turn over corrected, I lost complete control of the car and I slid in half circle turn which landed me safely facing traffic completely on the same shoulder in the slow lane. I didn’t hit the guard rail cuz the snow slowed the car down. The driving class might have helped some but I have to give God the Glory. I will continue to focus on me. I cant get in touch with him now. All of ya responses are right. If I did contact him it would BE A PITY THING as Kevin mentioned. I don’t need to use PITY to show why we should get back together. I don’t need or want his pity. He is the one dragging this out not me. Thanks DivJUN and Angel510 will look at your post of course
Good to see you so strong again!:)
i wanna know one thing, would nc work in every situation?
Or am i forcing my ex in a relationship with me by not talking to him and making him miss me so much that he changes his decision.?I don’t think Nc will work in every sitution.. Its kinda up to fate I guess. As for me. I caved. I know.. but for me I don’t have the patience to wait. Who knows if Ill get 30 more days. He either wants to be with me or not.. I want to know Straight up. Its ok if he dont want to get back with me. He seems like more of a child anyway acting like he did. But I still am in love with this child. Lol.So I wrote him a poem. I’ve never wrote anybody a poem b4. He wrote me 2 when we were on good terms. At the end I asked can we talk please. I will see what happens if nothing by Friday. I’m more than prepared to let him go. I’ve been preparing myself for this moment.. His pics he sent me were deleted in Dec for not calling me 5days prior to Xmas and not calling on Xmas. He called on the 27th tho.. Weird! He has a common excuse that his phone is broke. And that’s y sometimes I don’t trust him. I was about to dump him then.
DiVjun.. You r in a great position.. please stop doubting yourself… You did what I refused to do.. Life is short and my dude is a jerk anyway.. but what ya have now is different. You’re relationship is going in the right direction… You’re not forcing him to anything.. It will work he loves u because you are talking… now all u got to do is make your texts fun… u r my hero. I look up to anyone who completes these 30 days.. when I do mine tho I ain’t counting… its just going to be over… that’s the way I want it.
I’m happy I m happy to be alive and I got happy fast. Today I bought everything that I’ve always wanted. I’m concentrating on living life to the fullest with or without him… My family and my son r way more important that what he decides to do
I m happy to see that you are doing good and are prepared to fave anything.
I am on day 15 and i haven’t started talking to him. :/ the last time he contacted me was 3 days ago but i didn’t break my nc.
He is also weird now!! He doesn’t regret anything and has ego issues.I’m sorry I must have read another thread confused.. But its good he texted you… Like I said on another thread.. how many time have u done NC with this dude.. it seems like many times. How long is it till after you reconcile do ya split again?
I answered this to u on another thread.
He was distant and seemed having no emotions. He hurt me so much and broke up in beginning of feb. I started nc on 17th febJust keep doing what u are doing then. Yeah I see the reason for waiting 30 days.. I don’t seriously think I can move on until 30 days is up.. Its nothing wrong waiting a month. My feelings change from day to day.
Angel510 I meant.. Just hang in there.. I know its tough not talking with the one u love.. but in the meantime we gotta work on ourselves… I’m applying for new jobs everyday and continue to work out… Ain’t no Ben and Jerrys pig out sessions 4 me. 🙂
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