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Hi everyone. So it’s been 4 months since our split, followed all NC and reconcile text contact after which was going well. We met and had a laugh like old times, things seemed positive but still no forwardness from him. I started another NC 3 weeks ago but unfortunately it’s now gone rubbish again. We only speak briefly when he collects DD at weekends and I feel like I’m permanently loosing him! I want to make a move before it’s too late.. a friend has said he’s flat hunting with his ‘rebound’
What should I do?@leahsfx – Continue to be cheerfully polite when he picks up your daughter or the three of you go out as a family. Since he’s been with the other woman almost 5 months, it might not be a rebound and he probably has deep feelings for her. But it’s worth one more try and you could say something like; I really want us to work out someday and be together again as a family. Also tell him you love him. After that, don’t mention it again ever! Just go back to being polite for the sake of your daughter. Maybe he will think about it and come back to you. If he doesn’t, please try to accept reality and move forward without him as a partner, but always be polite no matter what! Best wishes for a good outcome for all of you..
Thanks for the reply!
I am always polite and chirpy no matter what when he picks up our daughter it’s just difficult trying to get things to the next level as I don’t want to come across needy and reading lots of info online it says to never lay your emotions or how you feel out on the table so I don’t know if telling him that is the best thing to do but also feel if I don’t then he’ll slip further away and more into her arms. I’m also concerned it’s not a rebound after all which makes me think I should ignore all advice and tell him how I feel. So difficult knowing what to do! I’m not getting the best impression tbh, it felt like it was going somewhere 2 months ago but now it feels like I’m too late. I don’t know 🙁I also don’t want to lay my feelings on the table for him to ‘think’ then realise he has the best of both worlds (a girlfriend/rebound and me to fall back on if things don’t work with her) he’ll know no matter what I’ll be there waiting for him so to speak (that’s where the not looking needy/desperate and I can’t live without him comes into play) aaarrrggghhh
@leahsfx – You have more at stake than single people breaking up. You were a family with a little daughter. The idea of never laying out your feelings or emotions on the table seems like playing a game of pretending you don’t care or miss him. At this point you have nothing to lose by telling him you love and miss him and hope someday to be a family again. I don’t know why you broke up, but when you talk to him you could also tell him it would be wonderful if you could work through the problems together. Being polite and cheerful is good, but it might have also lead him to believe you are okay with the breakup and moved on. You could ask him to think about reuniting and let you know the answer within a certain amount of time such as a month or two. Otherwise, if he doesn’t choose to reconcile you will move on and wish him well.
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