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My ex left me a week ago.
We started very good, going out and doing fun stuff together. It was holidays then. She studied 600km away from me, so when classes started we only saw eachother once a month or so. Things were going great for a year or so. My father died three years ago and I started hating the world. She took that hate away from me.
Then we decided to start living together, (we were only a couple for a year, but we knew each other for five years). That’s when the trouble started. Since we lived together the “i miss you” feeling. I got lazy and didn’t wanna go out anymore. She begged me to go out every weekend, but I preferred watching stuff on my computer. I made her feel lonely.
Not doing things togerher was really bad, it got my hate for the world back. I don’t socialise very well and it’s difficult for me to make friends. Since some months it’s not going well, we barely kiss each other, have had sex only once a week, and feel bad. I know it’s my fault for not going out with her. I treated her badly, sometimes I even insulted her. I also manipulated her to do what I want. I feel terrible.
She really has put all her energy in our relationship. And I’ve been a fool for not seeing what I was doing. Now the only thing I want is being with her, go out with her, you know…
When she broke up with me, I begged her to get back with me, obviously with no luck and after 3 days of trying and having a real bad time I decided applying the no contact rule (that was before reading this site). She has holidays now and will be out for two months. Then she’ll be back two more months, and we’ll stop living togerher.
She has already been kissing other guys the same day she dumped me, and told me she feels something for two of them. I couldn’t believe she had already forgot me, but she said it was some months now that she hasnt been feeling anything for me, she just sees me as a friend.
I know i’ve hurt her and made her feel bad, manipulated her and insulted her. I didn’t do it on purpose though, I’m just very afraid to be rejected, and ironically that got me rejected now. I know I have made her very happy, but I’m not sure that will balance against the bad things I’ve done to her.
What should I do? The no contact is SO HARD, should I just surrender? I’ve really messed up.
I know how you feel man. Me and my ex dated for almost a year (we made it till 10 days before). We broke up about 2 weeks ago cause I had found out some stuff I didn’t know about. At around our 6 months we had been arguing and stuff and some things happened and she told this guy we was having trouble and stuff and he had convinced her in 2 days to come “get away” with him. So she did. She left after school with him and went to his house and “fooled around”. From what I’ve been told and she’s said she left 20 mins after she got there because she knew it was horribly wrong. The thing is though I didn’t find this stuff out till a couple of weeks ago. She had been telling me all that happened was he kissed her out of no where. When in reality, she was doing the “work” if you know what I mean. So of course, when I found out I went off and yelled and screamed and said I was done with her. Honestly, being the guy I am, I would have sadly probably forgave her if she would have told me then. As of now, I had been on a week of No Contact with her until she called me yesterday. I had posted a tweet about something that didn’t really invole her or was even directed towards her, but she thought it was. It was about talking to another guy so soon after a break up and how I didn’t know how anyone could do that. I soon found out that she had been talking to another guy. So she called and told me how much she hated me and never wanted to see me again. She told me to block her on everything (but I didnt). I really can see a future with her but I don’t know if she does anymore. I’m really confused and will take all the help I can get. I think she learned when the cheating happened that it was very bad, and I believe she won’t do it anymore. I have enough faith for that, I just need to know what I need to do. Restart no contact? Lengthen it? If I need to lengthen it, how long? And what if she starts dating a new guy for sure?
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