thinking stop NC….

I am waiting for an appointment to the psychologist. No news from my friend. Which is odd cause we were supposed to go to the gym in the morning and she didn’t even call. But last week something happened and she didn’t call either so maybe it’s that again. But still I ca’t help but think she is avoinding the talk because it’s bad.

I have never been a month without contact and we were close to getting back at the one month mark. But I am not sure if I could have changed something for the better. I think he was affraid I didn’t want anything anymore or something and from the moment I made it too obvious I was really eager he decided to put some space between us. Or maybe it was something else. I don’t really know. I planted the seed of us meeting up sometime soon. And now I think I will just not contact and work on myself. If he says something fine. If not later I’ll see what to do

I read that article. And it kind of made sense to me. If you break up and then want to get back and your ex just doesn’t answer that doesn’t give the right message.

With me, bfore we broke up he was gonna get me some stuff on a work trip. So after just a few days he texted to thank me for a letter I gave him after we broke up the same day. I didnt answer. Then the next day I asked him to call, we talked a bit about the relationship but not much and ended the talk on a positive note. Then a few days later or a week he texted because of that work trip. But he didn’t have time to get my those things so a week later he texted again saying that he was gonna be able to get them for me, and the next day or so he came and we talked for about an hour about stuff going on in our life. I had two piercings done and stuff and was thinking of starting gym so thats what we talked about. He said also that he was gonna look for that phone we said he would borrow me (so that I could send mine for repair9, and to text him the next day about it so he would remember to look for it. I didn’t. I didn’t text him for a week. Then when I did I asked about a restaurant we went too that was really good and I wanted to go there. And there he said two things he had to return to me and I took it that opportunity to arrange a meetup the next weekend. I even asked if we could go on his motorcycle. He loves riding and got me into riding as well. And so it was perfect. He was sweet, caring, grabbed my hand, was totally a date. But then I think I just got too happy when at the end he told me he had hopes things would work out. From that point on never again we had a meet up as good. I did NC for 15 days, didn’t say a thing on valentines day. And my thought is, I shouldnt have reacted like that when he said he would like things to work out, I probably shouldnt have even brought that up. And I shouldnt have done those 15 days no contact. This is my situation. 3 weeks after that great date we had we went out again, and he was colder and said he didnt wanted to give me false hope but he does would like to get back but is affraid, not ready and doesn’t know when or if he will be… then I talked a week later (a week ago) because it was his birthday. we met, gave him his gift. and now I am waiting for my friend that his a mutual one. she was with him this weekend to celebrate his birthday and she was gonna tell him that I have really changed. Now I am waiting to know how that went. and im scared.