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Posts
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@ChrisLovesChris Hey wassup … i just have headach these days god such aweful feeling …
Damn @chrisloveschris reading your optimistic post gives me some hope things will get better haha
@JeanValins that sucks…anything new going on with your situation?
@ryan94 I am very complimented that someone would say they got hope from me…thank youEvery day I force myself to have tunnel vision, I focus so hard on the outcome that it’s all I can see…and everything else becomes insignificant…
One time I experienced actual tunnel vision. When I got my molars extracted…they gave me nitrous gas. They turn it on and they leave you there to get all messed up on it before they pull your teeth. This one particular time everything around me shrank into this tiny pinpoint in the distance, creating a tunnel effect…like I was looking at my dentist crystal clear through a tiny pin hole far away and everything else was just this abstract swirling pattern all around. I don’t know if that makes sense but it’s the best way I can possibly describe it.
Anyway that is how my daily life has become…I just stare at that pin hole of light at the end like it’s all that matters. I can see everything else in my peripheral vision swirling around, all the doubts, fears, questions…and if I ever look at them directly it’s scary…so I just focus on the pin hole and the longer I do, the more those other things begin to fade and become just background noise. It gets a tiny bit easier each day@ChrisLovesChris can i add u somewhere so we could talk directly ?
I know what you mean with the tunnel vision. I get anxious if I think of any reason I might not get back with my ex, so I have to keep believing that I’ll make it work no matter what. I actually feel pretty happy when I think this way.
@JeanValins I will send you an email
@tighem that’s exactly it…it’s interesting when you discover how much your own thoughts just trip you up…you have to rise above themI always tell myself that my life will go on as it is, with or without my ex, and that my ex should not determine how my life should play out. It’s just the thought that she’s moving on with someone new that hurts me every time.
@Mj I think perceiving your life in such a fashion is quite healthy, actually… we shouldn’t allow someone to have so much power over us that our lives are literally crippled without them… that is what happened to me, and I’m never letting it happen again
@Mj with…definitely with…
Missing him a lot today. Sometimes it just knocks me down like a wave… if you’ve ever been knocked over by a wave you know what I mean
I know how you feel. You go on for a few days thinking everything is better than BAM one day you wake up thinking of your ex and I feel miserable again.
I just ended over 10 weeks of no contact and I thought I was going to die. I prayed and meditated a lot. And I have no idea if my ex and I are going to get back together, but here is what I do know. We met for drinks 2 days ago and he said all he remembers now are the good times. He moved into a new relationship but broke up with her after 3 months b/c he felt NOTHING for her- he just didn’t want to be alone. He said he wrote me countless letters and emails but never sent them because he is convinced we can’t work as a couple. However, he also said he saw positive changes in me. I have never handled a break up the way I did this one (using the 5 steps) and truly it has not only made my ex think about and miss me, but it has had a huge impact on my self esteem. I miss my love but in many ways, I am happier than I have ever been- because that break gave me a chance to work on myself. I am not sure where he and I go from here. He doesn’t want a relationship right now and I am seeing someone that could become serious. But I know that I have his respect and I know that I have changed his impression of me. And I have changed my impression of myself- if he walks away forever, I will be ok. So trust Kevin’s advice- especially the part about becoming a happier more complete version of yourself.
I posted in a new thread that I feel I have blown it with my ex so the only guarantee I can make is that you should make the most of the time you have to yourself. It will bring about happiness and positive changes in your life- either way. And I am sending positive thoughts your way because I get the hurt you are feeling.This is my situation. I’ve been so down and I’ve never experienced something like this in my life before. I’ve been through break ups before but nothing like this. It’s almost like someone hugged me first and then stabbed in the stomach with a knife . When she went on to a diff guy within a week of our break up that’s how I felt. I don’t know what to do. Similar to Chris, I made a lot of mistakes but she was hurt just because i wasn’t romantic according to her anymore and was rude. I think that I had my 1 chance and I blew it up so bad that i think she’ll never give me a chance again. And now with her seeing the other guy, it seems even more hopeless than what it was!
I read posts from all of you in this thread and feel better especially after merchants post. Can i write to you sometimes merchant? I am so dejected. It’s almost everything that I worked so hard for, 14 days a row 16 hours a day stands for nothing because I was working for her and she left me.
Happy Friday to all. It will soon be the weekend which I hope means a lot of us can rest, relax and recuperate. I had a bad day yesterday and when I woke up this morning, my heart was pounding. I didn’t sleep very well even though I drank sedative tea. I panicked…panic is bad, I keep saying that but I fall victim to it also unfortunately. I let my head create illusions and hear horrible thoughts, and even though nothing has changed, I fall into this black hole and it feels like everything has exploded. It is just an illusion…I have to remember…just like when people have panic attacks and truly believe they are going to die, it is just an illusion just like that. Chemicals flooding your brain and body and going crazy. It will go away and everything will feel okay again if you just hang on.
Does anyone remember that game show where they would sit someone in a chair in the middle of the stage and expose them to all kinds of insane stressors very close to their faces and bodies – giant flames, snakes, etc. And something was measuring their heart rate, and if it went above a certain rate, they lost? That is the sort of mastery of self control I aspire to…
Also I don’t know if anyone here has seen that old scary movie Creepshow…it is an anthology and there is a segment about a super rich mean guy who finds out his wife is having an affair, so he buries both of them clean up to their necks in sand at the seashore and leaves them to be drowned by the tide. But first he taunts the guy saying, if you don’t panic, if you can hold your breath…maybe just maybe the tide will set you free. If you panic you can’t hold your breath…if you panic you can’t do much of anything…more things to remember…don’t panic…
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