The Mornings Are The Worst

@ChrisLovesChris & JeanValins I’m glad you guys are doing better! I on the other hand keep feeling worse and worse. I do wish I were dead but would never do anything to myself…again, couldn’t leave my cats, as cheesy as that sounds. They’re the only thing that’s somewhat helped me. It has only been 5 days since I found out they were together but time passes by so slowly. I don’t know how I’m going to wait out the months, possibly year or whatever it may be that they’re together 🙁 Even writing this I feel my throat closing up and my hands shaking. I don’t know how much more I can take but as you said Chris (sadly, his new gfs name is Chris too 🙁 ) its a long, long road.
I don’t understand how he could just leave me out of the blue, 5 days before Christmas (& over text too) and not even two months later be seeing someone else and seeming so incredibly happy. I didn’t do anything to deserve this pain, the only thing I’ve done is love him. Sure I’m not perfect but neither is he. He has major issues and is taking a lot of them out on me I think but that doesn’t change how much I love him. And I don’t love or trust easily. It took me 7 years after my first love to find this again and its ripping me apart 🙁
Sorry if I repeat myself from my previous posts.
I wish I could have 7 cats! Where do you live that allows you to have 7? I only have 3.

@Heatherjane82 hey there … i have posted my email 3 days ago i guess so u can email me if u need any help … I will do my best to cheer u up … i know how you feeling right now and i was there too … i can tell i got way better but still sometimes i go really emotional … its just time and i hope she change her mind and look at me once again …

Hi ChrisLovesChris, I understand a lot of your feelings and am in a very similar situation (if you want more info the URL for my post is: https://ebpforums.com/boards/topic/my-ex-is-completely-ignoring-me/). Because I have depression I started taking anti-depression meds, and one of the side-effects is an increase in anxiety. I have had many days where I felt on the verge of a panic attack, I couldn’t eat for weeks and I always felt like I was going to throw up. I couldn’t concentrate on any work when I felt this way, and tried to distract myself with fun activities – it worked a little bit.

The only days when I feel good is when I have a plan to get my ex back and I can follow that. A good way to occupy your time is to focus on self-improvement. Do things that you think would make you look attractive to him, and you will feel better about yourself. Try picking up a hobby that you could entertain him with, or make things for him. Anything you think will make you look like a catch to him will make you feel better about your chances of getting him back. Hanging out with people can ease your loneliness, as well.

Since it seems that the problem in you relationship was the fighting, work on that the most. Go over past fights in your head and see where he was right or you were being stubborn, and figure out how you want to act in the future. If he got angry a lot, keeping calm and apologizing, even for something small, can really cool a steaming temper. If you would yell at him, practice keeping your cool and having civil arguments instead of angry fights. Methods to practice this could be going over times when you lost your temper, acknowledging why you got angry, and know to not get mad in the future if a similar thing happens. You could also make up a conversation you would have with him and recognize where you would normally get angry. You could even have a friend to practice with. Have that person pick a side on a topic that you don’t agree with, and then try to compromise without being too stubborn or caving in to their opinion. This way, you can get real practice not getting angry or yelling, and work on figuring out where the other person is coming from and understanding them, which is a really great skill in a relationship.

I read the rest of the thread and I’m in the same place you’re in… we broke up exactly five months ago and I’m ready to do anything for her but now I’m just waiting in hopes that she’ll break up with her new boyfriend and/or contact me. I don’t want to do anything that will ruin my chances of spending the rest of my life with her. Also that anecdote is so symbolic QQ. I hope your life keeps going like that – I’ve noticed that sometimes things like that do seem to show you how your life is going to go!

I am here for everyone if you need me. [email protected]

I just wanted to let you know that I really don’t think you’ve lost him. The reason is that it takes a strong and stable person to really be able to know when to let someone go, and he’s full of emotional turmoil right now. He’s probably angry and confused and he doesn’t know what to do, or even what he wants. He wants you to comfort him in his time of need but doesn’t feel like he can ask, and is probably too proud and scared to anyway – scared of rejection, or that the relationship will end badly again and he’ll get hurt. These emotions mean he certainly still has feelings for you, so it seems like if you continue with the 5-step plan you should have a great chance of getting him back ^.^