-
Posts
-
@ChrisLovesChris somebody have changed 😀 … so proud i am sooooo proud this is the women i believe on
@JeanValins thank you…and thank you for accompanying me along the way…
@ChrisLovesChris maybe we dont know much about eachother but i believe u are amazing person coz u dont give up so i am just gonna wait until the good news from u and remember i am here when u want
@JeanValins You are right I refuse to give up, because there is nothing I have wanted more than what I want right now. And Merchaunt showed me how the impossible can be made possible…you just have to free yourself from the shackles of your mind first…
@ChrisLovesChris thats right .. That guy is awesome man who came suddenly to change our life to good and also great best … i feel so much different after hearing his words and now i believe in him and i believe in my self morethan any time … i can do it and everybody can … if it didnt happened we didnt lose coz we know we didnt give up and we wont
@JeanValins it takes repetition but I think I am finally learning
@ChrisLovesChris
I’m in the same boat as when you started. I feel constantly sick and as if my chest is being permanently squeezed. I can barely go a few hours without breaking down and crying. Less than two months apart and he is already seeing someone. I miss him so much & would forgive so much of what he’s done. I keep hoping she’s just a rebound and he will come back but I fear that he never will and that makes me hurt all over again. I can’t function anymore. It feels like I’m at a breaking point & can’t take much more. I have no interest in anything and have constant anxiety attacks. I’ve always had bad insomnia but I barely sleep or sleep all the time. When I’m awake I think about him, when I try to sleep, I think about him 🙁
I try to distract myself by reading but my mind always drifts back to him being so happy with her. Even during our break up he said he loved me….now I don’t know if it was all a lie. Everything he’s said since the break up (about being alone) has been…what if everything during was? 🙁
I know I need to let go to start moving on but I don’t know how or if I want to because I want him to come back. My mind knows I deserve better but my heart refuses to listen. At least until we’ve had a chance to work things out and try again. 30 days of NC isn’t nearly enough for me. I need to let this (hopefully) rebound relationship play its course but I don’t know how to cope in the meantime. Or whether he will contact me when/if it ends.Sorry for the rambling post.
@HeatherJane82 my heartbreaks all over again reading what you wrote. I wish I could give you a hug. Please write to Merchaunt and listen to him…he is incredible…
And any time you want to write in my thread please feel free and we will keep each other company. I wish I had good advice but can only hope to comfort you with saying I know exactly how you feel and it’s a feeling I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy 🙁
@Merchaunt I sent you an email earlier, not sure if it went through.
@ChrisLovesChris I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t handle this. Everyone tells me to be strong and in the past I have been but this one….I don’t know why this one in particular has ripped me apart. It feels like something inside has died and I don’t know how to cope. I’m not as strong as people seem to think I am. I just made an appointment to talk to someone but I don’t think that will help. I’ve tried it before and just the other night ended up calling the crisis line (not exactly suicidal but incredibly overwhelmed and feeling like I’m having a breakdown). While they listen, its the same old stuff that just sounds trite and right from a textbook. I already know all these things, that time will help, that I need to keep myself busy etc. What I need is coping strategies that I can use to help the way I think and change patterns of behaviour instead of just diverting my attention from it by keeping busy. Otherwise its always going to be there. Plus I’m scared about talking to someone as I tend to make it seem like I am strong and ok with things since I don’t like anyone seeing otherwise.I keep thinking to myself that it should be *me* with him. Being taken on romantic weekends etc. I don’t understand how he could just out of the blue leave me and feed me lie after lie after lie. I did absolutely nothing to deserve this. I can’t do anything about him aside from let it run its course but its killing me. To an extent literally, the way its affecting me physically. We were talking marriage and even trying for kids towards the end and then he was gone. Now on to someone else and so incredibly happy. I would give anything (except my cats ;)) to be with him again.
Will guys @Merchaunt Is really great awesome guy if u havnt spoke to him yet you should start now … if you need any help to make u feel better i am always near my phone so you can email me at : [email protected] i will be there for u.. but again i wont be the same strong advice u will hear from @Merchaunt i am just gonna make u pass the time in NC if u havnt done it yet
@HeatherJane82 Believe me when I say, I know exactly how you feel. If dying of heartache were actually possible, this is how it would be, and we are the closest to it. I couldn’t go to work for two days…I barely ate anything and lost three pounds in just a few days. Any time I did eat something it just sat in my stomach like lead and I felt like I would throw up. I tried to talk to a priest (and I never go to church) and I also tried calling a crisis line but it was after hours… crying hysterically in my car morning noon and night…everything that you describe, the stomach in a constant fist, not sleeping, the constant panic and anxiety, the feeling of not being able to go on…I lived it all. I also do not know why this one affected me this way. I have never experienced anything remotely close to this. All I know is I never want to feel that again.
I definitely believe though it is exacerbated by not talking to anyone. In my case I couldn’t because no one even knew about my relationship plus I didn’t have anyone who would care enough anyway. I thought about seeing a therapist but I knew how that would go. I wasn’t interested in someone telling me to give up and classifying me as this person with non existent coping skills. Keeping busy isn’t the answer when you can’t even think and when all you do is stare off into space thinking about him. Being here though, is the beginning of your recovery…and for starters I hope you will type everything that comes to mind, even if it’s just to say you can’t go on and wish you were dead (I did) and cry until it feels like you can’t anymore…we are always here, especially in my thread here, there will be no talk of giving up. Once you are stabilized you will be able to formulate a plan. I hope you have reached Merchaunt by now…that will be your turning point, believe me.
PS I have cats too…7 of them
Thursday…the mornings aren’t so bad anymore, now that I have a new doorway. But I still miss him so much. The road back seems so long, and so treacherous. I won’t let that stop me though. Nothing that is really worth it ever comes easily, does it.
I wish I could go back to exercising daily and doing more things to gain my strength back but I have been so tired…I start falling asleep before 9:00 p.m. It doesn’t help that work has been horrible and exhausting – that is a big obstacle, because when I get agro at work, then I become more prone to slipping into negative thinking. I just wish everyone would leave me the hell alone
@ChrisLovesChris i feel i am not the same guy .. and day after day i am getting better .. i hope i wont do mistakes again or thing with my heart only .. damn life sucks sometimes hahahaha
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.