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Hey kevin and fellow people,
i would like to take this time to thank everyone for being there for me and answering my threats even when it seemed like i have posted to much. i came to realize, my ex isn’t the person i should be getting back. A part of me is saying i need her back but my other side is just telling me that it isn’t going to go well in the long run.
What ive come to realize is that my ex is just really messed up in ways people say is normal but its not. i would understand if she jumped onto another relationship to get over me and get back with me, which happened last year and we did get back. once again this time, she left me for the same reason and jumped into another relationship.
what i came to find out is that she not only had a “rebound” relationship, but also goes behind that persons back to another guy. its like a rebound within a rebound. I made a couple mistakes in the relationship and i owned up to all of them. And she claims to call me the asshole in the relationship, saying she doesn’t love me anymore, and be happy with every other guy in school. But she always lied to me and continues to do so a year later. In addition, she used to do drugs in which i actually changed her for the better and stopped all of it. But now she is back to her old self and honestly, i was always so angry in the relationship and she always does these things when were not together. It’s like i see her with a different guy everyday in school but i dont pay that much of attention.
My reason behind this post is to just let everybody know to think ahead of time before you can conclude that you need your ex back. I see people going back to people they know they hurt them and still want their ex’s back. But please guys, don’t let anybody bring your futures down and most importantly, your life a chaos. I’ve learned this the hard way and as much as it’s hard to believe it in my life, im still proceeding with the pain and trying to become a better person. I still have feelings for this girl and care but sadly, she doesn’t realize the bad influences around her.
If you guys have any advices to give me please tell me them below because to be honest, i still catch myself upset and down once in a while when i come to realize these kind of things. It’s not easy and i can honestly speak for everybody that its just a gut wrenching feeling. Is this her or is she ever going to change for the better? i care about this girl enough to make her become a good person, but not this kind of lifestyle. But then again, not enough to get her back either just to be there for her and make her realize the bad things shes doing.
Move on completely. It’s understandable that you will go through the emotions. Anger, disappointment, wondering what went wrong etc. The point is, it’s all in the past and became a cold hard fact that you cannot change. And your perception of ex and vice versa is same. Obviously you will not forget that she existed. You will remember the good times you shared now and then. But direct contact or any other sort of communication (which includes checking up on her on social media) should come much after you have healed and feel that you completely moved on. And it will not take just a couple of months. 2 years is the minimum time for those emotions to subside and wither away. After that time, you can reach out to her and see what’s up. There will be no feelings, but you will treat her as an acquaintance. Of course these are all on your terms. If you want to do it, you can. If you don’t think it is necessary, then you don’t.
I recommend you to read this: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com/
It’s therapeutic and will help you maintain your focus.
Thank you so much, honestly yea we’ll envy each other but i guess that just how life goes sometimes. you gain some you lose some and i hope this hole in my heart goes away already. it’s like I don’t cry or become sad that much, but it hits me at night and i just overthink sometimes. She has depression issues and i would love to be there for her but she will just push me away and not want anything to do with me as a friend. And 2 years? thats a really long time.
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