Stick to the game plan or change course?

Hi everyone,

I need your advice badly, because many people keep telling me to change the way I express myself to my ex-girlfriend and don’t believe the rewind strategy works. I will try to explain the situation.

On June 1 my girlfriend broke up with me and like most men I acted desperate (relationship of 5 years). In the following months I did 1 month of NC to work on myself. I became stronger and had the feeling I could talk to my ex-girlfriend again. On August 15 I wrote a short letter saying I accepted the break-up, apologized and told her something wonderful happened in my life. Next, she went on a short 1 week vacation and at the end of it she asked when we could meet. Our first meeting was on August 27 which went great and we talked about things happening in our life. After a few days she contacted me again with some random message and we called. I made a mistake saying that we should do something fun someday and she responded not now and questioned if I only wanted to be friends with her.

It was her birthday on August 30 and I offered that she could held the birthday over at our house and I would be gone (this is the day after I kinda screw up insisting we could do something fun someday). I offered this because she told me that she didn’t really want to celebrate her birthday over at her parents where she stays right now. She had to think about it but later accepted it. On the day of her birthday I removed all pictures of us together to make sure she knows I am dead serious about nothing more than friends. On the day itself she cancelled it at the end of the day saying it doesn’t feel good. September 3 we had a second meeting over at my place and we had a nice conversation about what’s going on in our life. She’s still staying with her parents and want to move further (selling the house for example, or that I move out of the house so she can stay in it). I don’t want to make such important decisions as of yet but It felt in order to stay positive and ‘cool’ I had to play along but don’t help her that much.

Its driving me crazy, I am getting all sort of signals. She says she wants to move forward , but still she leans on me making decisions like to rent a house herself. She also told me she cried for hours after seeing the pictures of us together were removed and the next thing she says ‘I planned to do the same’. When I try to remind her of the good old times, for example by giving her some photographs of a nice vacation we had, she just refuses because it’s too hard for her to handle right now. She wants everything to be normal and move forward without looking back to the past. I have a feeling she did something during the break-up she doesn’t want to tell me and that’s why she suddenly wants to move forward faster than before. It also looks like she’s copying my behavior and acting strong and cool. I am sure she’s not.

Should I stick to the game plan of change course? I know she already noticed the changes I have made in my life and become a better person. She even told me she noticed and likes it very much. She’s happy that I have become a better person and but it looks like this confirms her decision it’s better for me that we break-up. Should I wait and be low on contact from now? I am afraid she sees me as a close friend and/or we will end up fighting about the house before things will become better.

Its difficult to plan a next meeting where we can have fun (I think she will just refuse it if I offer). I also found it difficult to bring up nice memories. I tried to change some background image on Facebook that worked pretty good I guess (she didnt become online on facebook for the next 2 days…)

Could you please share your thoughts what would be the best things to do from now?