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Hi,I was in approx. 4 years relationship with this girl.We had good/bad times together but mostly my time in 4 years was very rough as of my ex-wife,daughter & finances.My g/f stood by all this 4 years and was very committed to make it happen and get married.She waited all this years so I can sort out my differences with my ex-wife but when I was very close to settle with my ex-wife,i blew off my g/f when we had a fight & I blocked her for approx. 2 weeks.I called in after the blocked apologized and gave her flowers.This happened in Approx June 2014 and guess what my gf was never the same.I tried everything to get her back except NC.I gave her flowers,apology 1000s times,cried,begged,gifts,taking care of her mother,sister and saying sorry multiple times but in initial stage she told me to wait and as the time went by now after 2/3 months close to Nov she started telling me to move on as she has moved on with her life and she will not forgive me for my past mistakes where the most recent and outrageous was blocking her on cell phone and going vacation to vegas without her.She is been very distant,cold and don’t call or text or want to meet.I pissed her off all the time by contacting her texting her sending her flowers talking to her sisters & friend.
Finally I gave up and now started doing NC from Jan 13th.Do you guys think I have a chance or its already over.
All this time she communicated with me and was very angry and mentioned all my mistakes I did in all 4 years of relationship and where the breaking point was blocking on her cell phone and going on vacation.
She was very sincere,wanted to get married and settle,infact march 2014 I also gave her ring which she loved.Please advice if I still have chance of getting back with her.I really loved her and she stood by all this time with me.
Thanks in advance.
Oh Same time every time we talk oh phone or text(may be once in 10 days) she said all negative things about me,for example I blocked her on cell for 17 days,i went to vacation without her,i insulted her in front of my friend,i didn’t marry her when she was begging me to get married,i used her for sex,my mother is bitch,my daughter always came in middle of our relationship etc etc.
She keeps repeating this all from 6 months and not getting tired of this,plus she tells me oh now its too late,she don’t want to come back to relationship,she wishes I should have thought this earlier,she will never forgive me,she will not come back even I die,she is happy without me and doing good blah blah blah.You almost always have a chance!!! If you’ve been with somebody for 4 years, then no matter what you did wrong they will start to forget about it during NC and start thinking about the good times you had together. This is the way a person thinks.
Before the breakup
Just before a breakup (for weeks, or even months) they are filling their head with reasons to end the relationship. They try not to think about the good things, and keep filling their head up with the bad because they have made their mind up that breaking up is the right thing to do.
After the breakup
The person will start to forget about the bad IF and ONLY IF you are taking NC seriously. If you constantly beg them to get back together they will keep filling their head with the reasons why they broke up with you in the first place (which, by the way usually isn’t what they tell you). If you do not talk to them they start to forget about these things. Anybody that is together that long has good memories, and those memories start to take over as the person starts to miss you.
I have been through 3 long term breakups in my life (on the 3rd now), and this has been true for each of them. The main thing you need to do is to make sure you are ready to move on before you make contact with them after 30 days. You also need to improve yourself enough that your ex will be able to imagine a relationship that is different than the one you had.
I have used this program before, and it works. It works too well in some cases. The first time I used this I actually ended up getting back together with my ex, but I had given myself so much extra confidence that I felt like I could do better so I was the one who ended the relationship for good. And if you’re wondering I did end up doing better, much better. I ended up with the most beautiful girl in the world, but I blew it by letting myself get into a slump and let myself go. I knew what I needed to do, and started NC right away this time. I also got into the Gym and started losing weight (28lbs in just over 3 weeks so far), quit smoking, and fixed some person issues that I had. My ex actually started contacting me after 2 weeks. We are not back together, but we talk on the phone every night and I stay at her house every weekend. Our last conversation she was upset with me for not making all of these changes while we were together, which tells me that I am doing the right things (even though none of the changes I made have anything to do with the reasons she gave me for breaking up). Right now I don’t know if I should keep seeing her and talking every night or if I should go back to no contact and see what another 2 weeks apart does. In any event, I feel much better about myself right now and I will be OK no matter what happens. I hope you figure everything out, and stop worrying about whether or not you still have a chance. The point of this is that it doesn’t matter. Do the program the right way and you will be better off no matter what happens, and the icing on the cake is that this IS the BEST WAY TO GET HER BACK!!! Good luck!!
Thanks @ Michael for the great information and I feel you.
I am on NC now from Jan 13th and I don’t think I will contact my ex even after 30 days I might need atleast 2 months, so all her negativity towards me goes away.She is full of negativity all this time and me trying to make up with her,begging,sending flowers,apologies and be her door mat made it more worse I guess first she was chasing me like crazy and now after the break up I started chasing her.
So, lets see how this NC plan works,my girl friend is stubborn kind too so that is taking a huge part.
90 % of the people I talk to say it is too late now and I have very slim chances that it will work out btw it is almost 6-7 months but we were in touch all this time may be thru text once in week or meeting once in month.From last 2/3 months… I think I pushed her away or may be she got comfortable with some guy… that she kept telling me to MOVE ON as she has moved on with her life. First, after the break up she wanted me to wait if I want now its move on from her side.
Thanks again Michael for your input.Appreciate it.
It sounds like you really don’t know if she is with somebody else or not, either that or it’s hard for you to admit it and you do know. I think you need to remember that you still have a chance even if she has moved on. I can’t stress enough that the only chance you have is to basically move on for yourself though. You have to better yourself so your ex can see what she’s been missing. Maybe it will take 2 months of NC for you to get there, but it’s the best thing for you. I have gotten back together with exes after years apart, and typically it starts with a brief catching up period where she sees all of the changes I have made in my life. I’m not sure how old you are, but during your 20’s most people have so many changes occur that they are a completely different person by the time they’re 30 (and then again by the time their 35 and 40). There are so many girls out there that would love to be with a guy that has his life together, so make that your goal. Once you have your life together your confidence will rise, and then you can take your pick of meeting new girls or trying to work things out with your ex. Either way you will walk away from this a better person!
PS. Get on plenty of fish or match and go on a few dates (I would suggest match if you can afford to pay, depending on the type of girl you are looking for). I never suggest playing mind games, but I do have to admit that it typically doesn’t hurt for word to get back to your ex-girlfriend that you’ve been talking to/seeing somebody.
Yes right I am not sure if she is seeing some other guy but the way its been 6/7 months and her constantly saying me move on with my life bugs me that she does have a guy. She is keeping her social life very private and don’t talk to anyone about her personnel life.
I think it is also hard for me to accept at this time that she is seeing someone new and I know one day, I will surely find out as she lives only 10 min away from my house and in same city.
I am 37 and she is 28 and very attractive with no kids(never married) and where I am divorced and with one kid and had bunch of issues to deal with my ex wife all this past 4 years of my dating period with her.
Yes I am making positive changes but it will take some time and also i will start dating after a while right now I am not ready to move on.
I really hope she comes back after this NC even though she told me numerous times that she will never come back in my life.Thanks Michael @
She is angry towards you which is a great sign. I know its been long since u both broke up. But she is not indifferent towards you which means she still has some feelings somewhere inside her. Doing NC is your best shot at the moment and i wish you all the luck for getting her back.
True love always finds its way back home:)Can you look into my latest thread too?
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