-
Posts
-
Dear all,
I would really appreciate some help, especially a guy’s view.
After being completely honest with my ex how I felt about him and that if there was a chance to work things out then to let me know. So we met up a few weeks ago for drinks, we were both nervous and didn’t talk much. But he said ‘keep in touch’ and hugged me at the end of the meeting.
A couple of weeks later I spent the weekend at his (he lives outside the city), which he gave me a spare train ticket that he had. The weekend was quite fun, we played some sport and went to the cinema. After that we went back to his, his mum being there, and he cooked dinner. We didn’t have much time to talk the first day. The following day, his mum went out early in the morning, so we spent the morning together. And we kissed and *slept together* (sorry about the detail but it might be important as I continue on). For the rest of the day we were out window shopping, and yet again didn’t *talk* about us. Also, I felt so nervous and scared too. Before I went to take the train station we kissed and hugged and he said to text him when I’m back in London.
Then the following week, for 5 days we were in touch, only via text, and I initiated all of the texting. I sensed he was a bit distant. I assumed we were both back together and even said ‘I want our relationship to become stronger’ etc.
Then on the Friday I said ‘will you call me tomorrow?’ and then he didn’t reply. He said that he would be busy all weekend sorting his house out, so I thought he might be in *his cave* and didn’t think much of it. But then I text and called him twice on Monday to ask how he was and if something is up, but no reply and he didn’t pick up my calls or return them. It’s now Wednesday, I’ve text him to ask how his weekend was, and tried to call tonight but nothing.Guys – please give me an honest answer of your view. I feel angry, hurt, confused and humiliated. I’ve been trying to figure out if he’s angry at me – he planned pretty much of the whole weekend. I don’t know if he’s angry because I didn’t suggest anything. He’s always said he likes to do/plan things together. But this silence is like a punishment.
He was really caring and gentleman with me that weekend. He asked me if I was okay a lot, if I was cold in the cinema. So I’m really confused with why he’s behaving like this.
I know that he’s got a lot to sort at the moment and he has long commutes which he feels tired most of the time. Last week he felt like he ‘have had enough.’
I’ve done quite a few of texting and calling last few days. So I feel like the role has reversed and he’s doing NC!
What’s the best next step that I can take?I have nothing to add except that I hope you get some answers. I live with my ex. We co-own a home. I have a kind of similar story you can read about a few threads below. No one has yet commented, but I know where you are coming from.
Hi Catafox, thanks for your reply. Your situation with your ex and co-owning a home together sounds pretty difficult. I hope you find some answers too. It’s not easy, is it?
If I were to look at my situation as an outsider then I would believe that my ex planned this all along and wanted to hurt me back. So it is all intentional.
If I were wishful thinking, then it would be that he is feeling confused and hurt from seeing me and needs space and time to figure out what he wants and if he wants to be with me again.
For the time that I have known him and his ways, it would be the first scenario but a part of his reason is ‘you sometimes have to be cruel to be kind…it’s not going to work out. We’re not meant for each other…let’s let each other go.’
So for my own sanity and looking after myself…I’m not going to do anything. I’ve stopped texting/calling him and letting go of trying to control the situation. I can only control my own actions, that’s my responsibility. I can’t make, and I don’t want to push/force someone to be with me.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.