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Background of my ex and i was distance was tough and we couldn’t make it work, it became to much….
So I waited 30 days after and sent her the letter expressing some feeling I still had (mistake 1)… Her response was “Hi. I got your card. Your sentiment is very sweet and appreciated. However, it’s not reciprocal. I Hope you and your family are well.” So here’s where it got worse. I tried calling which she refused, I texted back almost begging, as she refused to talk saying she was busy. And I went and texted the unmanliest texts about love and wish we could talk, I want you to move in…. (Mistake 1000)…. Just kept texting… Ugh total fail. I have no idea what to do now, any help appreciated.
During your first NC period, what did you do to improve yourself? Did you go on a date? Did you stop looking at her social media?
I’d recommend a 45-60 day no contact at this point. I know it sucks but it doesn’t seem like her feelings are the same. During this new no contact you should focus on not becoming dependent on a response. The next time you text her it should be a genuine interest on how she is doing and without the expectations of getting her back. You need to sever the need to get her back and be more confident.
Hey Stayingstrong,
I am sorry to hear that your attempts didn’t succeed. Unfortunately all you can do now is to distance yourself again from her. She told you she doesn’t feel the same way about you and you have to accept it if it’s true. Stop reaching out and wait for a while if she will do that, maybe she might change her mind. Continue to live your life and be strong.Keep us updated
Thanks guys. I did a lot to improve myself and I did go on a date. I actually started a new company, ramped up my working out and eating and moving into a new place next month. I’ve never seen her so cold. I think that just shows me maybe I don’t know the girl I was dating that well. We winded up quick talking through text where I just left it as, “Wow, I guess I brought out the good in you, because I never realized how cold and mean you really are.” A little anger obviously, mostly towards the coldness. Idk what I’m going to do In the future. I know NC might be for good this time, I can’t see her trying to get ahold of me. It’s just sad
I have a theory that she is probably seeing someone else. She probably likes. And Now I came outta no where and caught her off guard. Shes afraid shes gonna develop feeling for me again and that could mess up her new thing and so she acts mean n cold to me so i back off cuz she may not have the will power of holdin her feelings back for me. So she acts mean. Idk a theory lol
Honestly, it seems to me that your girl has been pretty civil about sending you that response at least, without ignoring the effort you made for writing that letter. She’s been very clear she doesn’t wanna be with you now, but you have kept bugging her anyway.
Even if she’s seeing someone else, it’s a choice you need to respect, you two are not together anymore and she’s free from any obligation towards you. Just be cool and keep going, you are doing a great job with your improvements.Are you still living 2 /12 hours apart? You sent the letter expressing your feelings and it’s never a mistake to let someone know how you feel. Her reply was very kind, but she said the feelings aren’t reciprocal. Then you started bombarding her with texts and begging. But OMG, to top it off, you lost control and made a very sarcastic rude remark “Wow, I guess I brought out the good in you, because I never realized how cold and mean you really are.” All this because she told you the truth. You’ve just set back your chances for reconciliation or maybe even friendship. The only sensible thing to do now would be to send a short apology text and then start no contact again.
She broke up with you for an extremely important logical reason. She doesn’t want any more children and you’re young enough to someday have a family of your own. She wanted you to be free to seek that dream.
Hey guys. I appreciate the feedback. She hasn’t been civil about it at all really. She’s been very cold and mean. There’s more to the story.
Besides sending a text back I wasn’t bugging her. And everything I said has been respectful. Ive accepted we aren’t going to get back together. Honestly because of her reaction made me accept that. I could never be with someone who is cold like that. Initially I was shocked it took her 3 days to finally get back and that was her response. I guess the passion I had made me not understand things. And I regret texting more about how I feel. But in the end would I regret it more if I didn’t say it? I mean it’s already over, what do I have to lose.
Thanks a lot for all the feedback. I wish the best for everyone out there. I’m excited for my new adventures in life!
Patricia- kids was not a reason at all. Was just distance, she wanted to have kids.
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