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Hello,
So I am 2 weeks into the no contact period as of right now. I fell in love with my best girlfriend recently, and I made some mistakes that essentially pushed her into another man’s arms. I have known the girl for over 2 years. We briefly dated back in 2012 and I ended that because I was still hung up on a different girl and didn’t like her that way at the time. We remained goo friends for the year and a half that we weren’t together romantically or anything. She did try to get closer to me on many occasions, but I did shut her down, and we eventually got to the point of being able to talk with each other about other people we were dating. I should note that I have been living a pretty outgoing single lifestyle for quite a while before her (over 5 years). I have gone out with a lot of girls.
If anyone wants the long version of my story, I have it all written down in a Word doc. It is long and serves as a kind of timeline of events. About a 20 min read. I don’t want to get into too much detail here, but I think I understand where I am at this point, and I feel that I am a perfect case study for using the steps outlined in this site. I am a bit concerned however, because of how unique our relationship was, that I am missing something. Though during the times we were together, we were only intimate with each other, but we never ironed out a totally exclusive agreement, so we would both kinda talk to other people on the side.
I know this girl loves me and I do love her a good deal. We share a social circle, and I find it very hard to believe the whole thing is completely over. Everyone that has gotten the full story agrees with me.
I have been doing pretty well with no contact. Going on a few dates already with some girls that I do like, but I know where my heart is at still and will be planning to make some moves here once the no contact month is up. Hope to keep everyone updated here so I can get some advice along the way. I plan to follow the steps here very closely, and in my situation, they should work. I will keep my cool. I have accepted the fact that I may never be with this girl again, which is a tough one, but I have accepted that. I still feel she is worth the fight to try and get back, especially after what she has gone through with me. I read Relationship Rewind and am somewhere between Drift and Hell’s Door. I can now see how I went through all those stages and realize where I slipped up.
Anyway. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated here. I can email my long story if anyone wants it. Thank you Kevin for those daily email. They do help.
Eli
Hey!
I feel similar in that I’m stuck between Drift and Hell’s door (I read rewind too haha) It’s so hard to stay strong. We agreed to do 40 days and it is a LONG time. I have to say I have 13 days left and I am feeling better! You suddenly realize not to torture yourself and just enjoy being you. You sound like a good guy who sadly did some immature things in the beginning. I did too. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Soon she’ll realize that anger is actually because she misses you. But first you have to allow her to miss you. If you’re in contact with her, she can’t miss you! Remind yourself of that every time you go to call or text her. If she brings up the other guy tell her you’re happy for her. I know that sounds like the opposite of what you want to say but it will be a shock to her and get her thinking about you!
Stay Strong!
Hey,
You already know what exactly you should do.Follow the plan and keep us posted.
Best of LuckThank you mm88 and a.z. So the girl that I am doing the no contact with has done some things with a few of my friend over the past week. Our friend circles were intermingled, but when I say that I more or less mean that she was brought into my friend circle. She doesn’t have many if any friends (at least not around here) that she didn’t meet through me. My guys friends have girl friends that are sort-of friends with her, though they never before hung with her unless it was a group thing until recently. She went and grabbed a drink with one of my best friends and his girlfriend a few days ago. This is a first. I also have a girl roommate that went out with her recently and met her new bf. This is strange because my roommate hadn’t done anything with her for over a month prior. My friends are super loyal to me and always keep me posted on things, so I know she has been asking about me. I know I didn’t put the whole story up here, but the new guy isn’t really even a threat to me, especially after having met him several weeks back.
Either way I am sticking to the plan here. I do feel that she may reach out to me before the month is up and I am unsure as to how I should handle that, so I will likely be asking for help when it happens. I really want to do the whole month of no contact here, but ignoring her if she reaches out would be reinforcing an old behavior that I don’t want to repeat. It is one of the reasons that I am now with this girl right now. I’m actually right now on day 13 of no contact. And doing ok so far. I want the rest of the time to clear my head totally and make sure I am sure I want to go for her again here, but I know her dad is coming to visit in a week, and last time he came I got to meet him and he went to eat with my friends and me. He will likely ask about me and I can see a text coming my way “My dad says hi.” I may even get something sooner than that.
Anyway just an update. Not sure if it means something that she is hanging with my friends. Will keep everyone posted if I hear from her. Thanks again for being there everyone!
I love your attitude and your doing really well.Keep it up and don’t worry about anything.Focus on yourself and make positive changes in your life.Doesn’t matter if she is hanging out with your friends or anyone else.You do have a good chance to get her back.The most important step to get an ex back is about yourself and i see that you are on the right track so there is really nothing to worry about.
Hey a.z.
So I don’t want to break any of the rules on this board, but I wanted to know if you’d be willing to read my story. It’s kinda long and I can’t post it because it has names and won’t read right if I remove them. I need real advice with my situation, and I see all your posts and think you would be a great person to give me feedback. I do understand if you are not comfortable doing this and won’t be offended. Please let me know if you’d be willing to. I don’t want to break the rules and exchange any sort of contact info on here, but I could maybe post an email on some other forum/site for you to access. Thanks for your time and your consideration is appreciated.
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