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I talked to my ex a week ago for about 2 1/2 hours and it went really well. That was the first time we’ve had contact and was actually exactly 30 days or so. I was actually shocked by how well it went on my part, but I also think I hooked her a little bit to get her back. halfway through the conversation she asked if I thought we could be friends eventually and I said probably not right now and then continued with our conversation for another hour or so. The last thing I told her was “Well in regards to the friends question you asked me, give me a call if you ever want to go out sometime or move things forward.” She asked me if I meant just me and her and I said yea, then I got up and walked to my car. On my way to my car she yelled at me to wait, came up to me a gave me a big hug and said bye. Afterwards it definitely seemed like what I said made her think about coming back because we were smiling like we haven’t in a long time and just like we did when we first started dating.
2 days later, she asked one of my friends if they had seen me walk into church and they said no since I walked in before they all got there. Afterward, my friend told me that she asked about me. I didn’t see her after so I decided to text her to see if she wanted to talk or needed anything. It was a very short conversation just about where we were sitting and then I stopped replying because the last thing she said was “oh wow haha.” There’s not much to reply to that without starting a new conversation and I’m still trying to give her a little space. I thought about it after and thought it might’ve been a mistake to stop replying. I want nothing more than to talk to her or see her since she’s about to leave for the summer.
Should I reach out to her even though I originally told her that she should give me a call if she wants to move things forward? Or should I wait for her to reach out to me again?
Some friends say I should let her come back to me since she knows how I feel and she needs to figure it out for herself. They also said not to add her back on social media. Another friend has said that she’s been reaching out and that I should reach out now so that she doesn’t feel like she’s doing all the work.
What do I do?
Update:
I ended up reaching out to her asking her when she’s leaving and she told me the 22nd. I said “Ahh, ok, I just wanted to know so I could see you.” She said ok, and I asked her what day would be good for her and said when I’m free. Then I said I was actually thinking we could go dancing? To which she responded “I might be able to go but I’m not sure we should go together.”
Is it safe to say she doesn’t want to get back together? Or is it because our break up is still fresh and she just wants her time to heal?
well done ! you actually on the right way.. you give her the doubt and thoughts if she might be back again with you .. which means she is already thinking about the option.. i would say go slowly and take it from there .. by the way is she leaving for good for what sorry i think i missed something.
oh sorry she is going for summer vacation.. i think this will be good time if you leave a really good memory together.
Also, make sure you’ve read this article on getting her back.
She ended up proposing a coffee shop with a good vibe instead of dancing and then kept the conversation from the update light-hearted. I decided that I’ll judge her actions when I see her to come to a conclusion about what direction she’s heading in and that I’ll keep the hang-out short and nonchalant so that it doesn’t seem like I’m there for any other reason than to wish her good luck at her internship this summer. After that, I probably wouldn’t talk to her for the next 2-3 months while she’s at her internship unless by some chance she reached out to me.
Does that sound like a good plan of action, or is there any feedback as to how I can deal with this situation better to really set myself up to eventually get her back?
All I can say is she has her guards up. She’s probably confused because at the time she thought breaking up was right but now she has feelings again. So she is going to act that way. Give her the best coffee date ever! Without acting like a boyfriend but act like a caring guy! You’re definitely going to need this time while she goes on vacation. Believe it or not she will be thinking of you while she’s there! I almost guarantee it!!
Really? I was just afraid that when she said “I might be able to go but I’m not sure we should go together” that that meant she didn’t want to get back together. And on top of that, she still hasn’t given me a time that she can meet up yet either.
Let her reach out to you. That definitely doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to get back together. She wouldn’t reach out, respond, hug you, want to be friends, etc if she didn’t have some form of attachment for you still there. I’m telling you that she is definitely confused and that you should just lay low for right now!
What if she ends up not giving me a time to meet up? Do I ask her if she found a time if she hasn’t reached out to me in a couple of days?
I wouldn’t reach out until the next time she contacts you. You’ve already done your part!
Alrighty, so what if she doesn’t give me a time before she leaves? Do I just not see her before she leaves for the summer and not talk to her until she reaches out to me, whether she’s in town or not? And will it hurt my chances if I don’t see her before that happens?
Basically..yeah… I mean you told her that you would like to do something with her and she mentioned coffee when she gets the time. So now it is in her control and her hands..even if that means you don’t get to see her before she goes.. that is her problem. Your chances won’t get hurt because she needs to be making up for things..not you.
I agree with ellie. You’ve done your part and now it’s her turn to reach out to you.
I think you did well and it definitely seems like you made her think. Play it cool and let her come to you, she wouldn’t have done all of this things if she didn’t care for you. I think as well that she is confused and you need to let her figure out what she wants right now.I have to say, y’all both give some pretty solid advice and I must thank y’all for helping me out. getting the reassurance that she does still care and is just confused is way easier to take in than thinking that she’s already moved on or whatever. Another thing is I may see her tomorrow at church, so we’ll see how that goes. She asked about me last Sunday so maybe she’ll talk to me there?
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