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Hey ,this is my story … my girlfriend just broke up with me about 5 weeks ago , i was shocked with this , i was not expecting at all …we date for 6 years and lived together for 4 years , she´s 25 and im 32 ,we both live in Lisbon ( Portugal) the reason she said is that she lost interest in me , that she loves me but she isnt in love with me , that she feels im not a priority to her life at this moment , after one week of the break up she called me in tears saying that she was sorry and she wanted to came back to me , i said to her to think very well if that was what she really wanted because i didn’t want to go through this again , she said she will going to think very good if she really missed me or if was just the habit for all these years , after 2 weeks we spoke face to face and she said that she didn’t really missed me , i ask her if she though about us and if she take the time she said she will to think if she really miss me , she told me she dindt have time to think , she only thinks of me when she is alone but she never is alone cause she always hangout with her friends and sleep at their home so she is never alone and for me to go on with my life and that she wants to be friends with me, she said she doesn’t think much of me because and she tries everything to keep her mind busy so she dont think of whats happen ,wether with her job , hangout with her girlfriends almost every day and party all the time , shes always posting photos with her friend having a great time and very very happy…The last time we spoke i just broke into tears e even give her a letter with all my feelings for her written ( i know it was a big mistake ) Every time i have spoken with her through this period i felt that the words that were coming out of her mouth were not what her heart was telling her…i believe that she is making a big effort to continue with the decision she have made and with the support of her girl friends, all of her girl friend are single and even when she was with me they were always inviting her to go out clubbing and she went almost all the times… i just start the no contact period 8 days ago , and its very very hard, for how hard i try a can not stop thinking of her… and im afraid she meets someone because her girl friends are always trying to get her dates and i believe this happened also because of their influence. Help me with what should i do … her birthday is in about 1 week , i am thinking in sending her just a short message wishing hb and remembering her of her birthday party last year because it was very funny. I really need your help and advice:( And im sorry if my english is not very good
She is keeping herself busy with friends because she has to confront the problem if she doesnt stay busy and try to fill the emotional void that the breakup has caused. She is going through a tough time just as you are. It may not seem like that, but if it was that easy for her, she wouldn’t need to not think about you. If you maintain No Contact, she will be forced to think about you, and during this time you should improve certain areas of yourself that might have contributed to the breakup. Were you not able to compromise as needed? Did you let your appearance go? Were you jealous and insecure? During no contact, it’s really important you “soul search” because both people in a relationship cause a breakup. It’s not just one person that’s to blame. Well, it’s rare anyway. If you “soul search” it gives you clarity, and in the end you may feel as if there was something missing. And you will have to decide if there is or could be enough effort on both sides to create a long-lasting relationship. Even if she never comes back to you, you will end up a better person. You’ll discover things about yourself that will help you in future relationships. Good luck.
Hi Suzy , thank you so much for your reply , you are right and i know there are some things i have to improve , to be honest i was insecure with our relation for the last couple of months and a little jealous , because she was always all weekends going out clubbing with her friends and i didn’t tell her nothing so she didn’t stay bored with me , but in the meantime i stayed at home very angry and jealous from the inside, i know that i have to be more close to her wen she goes out with her friends … but meanwhile she abuses on the night outs , we have both very stressful jobs , we almost only can be together alone at weekends and i always want to stay at home or going to do something with her as a couple but she always prefer the other side and going out clubbing with her friends…I think as she sees all her friend party all the time and spend weekends out and traveling that her mind began pushing her away from me … she could had all of that and be with me at the same time, but she didn’t talked to me those issues and i thought that everything was ok. She told me after the breakup and when she was confused if she wanna going back to me or not that she will offer me a dog so i can see that she really want to stay with me , we were talking about having a dog and was a thing we both wanted very much… now i have heard by her cousin that she have bought the dog for herself a few weeks ago. This means that she dont have the minimum desire in us to reconciliate ?
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