Should I just go back to contact or what?

@ellie I agree with KPowers. Your happiness has to come first. I think you should wait a bit and see how it plays out. If there is something that really bothers you then talk to him about it. But be as calm as possible, I know how much it’s hard feeling like this, but maybe try to see things from his perspective as well. Maybe when he said that he didn’t ignore you then he really meant that, but he doesn’t see your point of view. I think you should see how it plays out. I believe that you scared him for a moment when you weren’t talking to him. And if he doesn’t want to lose you he won’t let you go. If you see that there is no progress after some time then you can decide to move on but before I think you should have a conversation with him about it. You should also stop analayzing and over thinking things. It seems that he wants to be around you but maybe he’s feeling too comfortable like this. And that’s why I think you should let him pursue you and realize your value.

I’m having the worst day and I could really appreciate some advice. I had some nightmares and woke up this morning with this anxiety and bad feeling. I accepted the fact that I have to move on with my life and meet someone new. But today I have these horrible thoughts about him that make me doubt all of it. I can’t bare the tought of him being with someone else, in his house, talking to his parents, sitting in his room by his side. All of this thoughts are just making me feel worse and it’s hard for me to control them. His parents really loved me, they were always saying how they expect us to get married and said that I’m a part of their family. It made me feel so warm inside. And I can’t imagine them saying this to someone else by his side. I know that he’s not seeing anyone, he said that he wants to focus on his work for now and he doesn’t have much time for a relationship. But i’m afraid that if I’ll keep not contacting him and let just him do it then it would make us distanced. Would it be a bad idea to call him or text him just to check how he’s doing? Or should I wait a bit more?

I think you’re being really strong, and like I told you yesterday, I think you’re doing the right thing. Sure, you get power from being able to say yes or no to his plans, but you also get power from initiating things and taking charge. If he gets back to you, it’ll be annoying that it took that long but it at least shows that it was important enough to him to respond. If he never answers, or doesn’t within the time frame you’ve alotted, then he’s not treating you correctly and that should be enough of a sign right there. I have my fingers crossed for you and truly hope that he gets in touch because I KNOW he really loves you. I just think you’re right not to continue playing this game. If your feelings are important enough to him, he will be in touch.

You’re not wrong about that. I feel like if you were the one giving all these signs you wanted to be dating and he was just kind of meeting you halfway (talking occasionally, seeing you every once in awhile, not pursuing you, etc.) then it might not be a great idea. But he’s initiating plans with you, he’s being physically intimate with you, he’s said he loves you, he tells you he sees a future with you, etc. He has done more than his fair share of things that say this is NOT just a friendly relationship, and because of that, I think it is safe to say you’re past that point. It’s not all one-sided or just you feeling this way. I also think that you’ve given him more than enough opportunities to take his time and chase you, and he’s either taken the opportunities or he hasn’t. Now he has to own his behavior.

I hear you. My ex is putting me through an unbelievable amount of games right now, trying to get me to chase her, even though I’ve ignored her for months. She’s pushing me away from ever wanting her back. That’s not healthy for neither a reconciliation or a relationship. I imagine thats why you feel the way you do.

In the scenario he doesn’t get back to you today, before you decide to break up with him, I think you need to be absolutely sure you won’t want him back. If you break up with him and change your mind down the road, you will have to start this cycle all over again.

No you’re not wrong. If you really feel the need to discuss things over with him, I’d do it. To do it without sounding nagging is the trick. It is important that you do your best and try taking a different approach than normal. Try not to make it seem like the past encounters. He may get defensive. If so, then make him understand you feel this talk is essential if things are going to work things out between you two. If he doesn’t respect that. There is something wrong with him. It could likely force you to accept this or leave him. You’re smart enough to know him, and the games he pulls, and I would myself be tired of going through that. If you want to talk to him now, I say do it.

If he’s often not contacting you in 24 hour intervals, especially if his lifestyle doesn’t add up to something that busy, that would concern and hurt me too. It was a very rare occasion if the ex and I would ever go even 12 hours without some sort of communication.

I think he’s definitely aware of his actions. He acts like he wants to be together but doesn’t want to stop playing games. If things do take a turn for the worst, we’re always here for you.

I hope he messages you soon with some definitive apology.