Should I just go back to contact or what?

If you don’t want to talk to him or don’t think he deserves it, then don’t talk to him. That’s what I would do. I would only talk to him if you feel like he deserves it or he has something meaningful to say or you want to talk to him. You could say exactly to him what you just said to me?

Probably because he didn’t get a response from you when he last texted you and he didn’t get a response after the instagram thing. He clearly wants to talk to you. I think NC is your best route if you think it is. I’m sorry if that’s not overly helpful. I just think this is one of those decisions where you have to make the decision that is best for you, and I can’t tell you what that is unfortunately.

I completely agree with the shock of him losing you is the best bet. I kinda figured he would reach out again at some point soon. I wasn’t expecting this soon. I also wasn’t expecting it to be something as lame as “Can we talk?”. I do want you to remember what we discussed about looking at what he’s selling and decide when/if you want to buy in. “Can we talk?” isn’t a good text to buy in on, but it does cause me to worry for you. Allow me to explain.

I want to share that about month ago, I was in a very similar position as you right now. My ex sent me a very convincing text that I was 50/50 on responding to. You’ve actually read my own thread about this already. I came to the conclusion that if she was single I would reply, but I refused to check her FB because I knew there were things which would set me back/make me weaker. I had a friend check for me instead and of course found out she was still with the guy.

I’m telling you this because the curiosity of me wanting to know her intentions regarding that text literally was driving me crazy for the next few weeks. I had this feeling of regret like I should of responded. I also got strong feelings that made me feel awful for ignoring her. Similar to how you felt after receiving this text. However, her still playing games between me and that guy really pissed me off so that is what kept me strong. Presently, I no longer regret not texting her back and was able to recover.

I’m in no way suggesting towards you breaking NC here, but I just wanted you to know that it literally dug at me for weeks where I was non stop thinking things like:

“Maybe I should of contacted her back.”

and

“Is it too late for me to find out if she really wanted to get back together?”

It came to the point where it might of been an overall less painful process for me to go LC in this situation. I sometimes think it wouldn’t of been a bad idea to send back something like “We can talk, but only if it’s in regards to reconciliation. Otherwise I’m not interested”. I feel this could work for you too. This way your ex would have to text back and say what his true intentions are, and if its not what you want to hear, you can go right back to NC. The only issue is it shows him that you would still consider getting back together, but it might be worth the risk if you’re afraid this “Can we talk?” is regarding you two getting back together.

All I’m saying is if you think its going to pick at you, like it did me for weeks, LC might not be a bad option here. The goal is for you to heal and its hard to do that when they are playing head games that make you question yourself everyday for awhile. If you could care less about him wanting to talk, by all means, stick to NC and see what he has up his sleeve next. The way he’s been going something more intense could be right around the corner. 🙂

Thank you for the update. Reading all of this gave me a good sense of where you’re at. I think you made a good decision if, like KPowers said, you can live with it. You obviously don’t need to stay completely out of contact if it’s going to be worse for YOU in the long run, but since I don’t think that’s the case, I think you made a great decision.

Work yesterday led to a bunch of incidents and since I just woke up and have to go on a double TODAY and TOMORROW with him, I’m kind of freaking out. I’m going to post my update on my page but would you please, please, please read it? One or both of you? Anyone? I feel super desperate but I need to get myself together before I have to leave and can’t talk to you guys all day.

I think that you 100% did the right thing unless you’re having regrets. Then you really need to check in with yourself and figure out what you need to do that will make you feel better. If you’re totally okay, then I think you did splendidly! You’re not falling into his hands and doing exactly what he wants you to do. That’s really the key thing. You’re keeping control!

That doesn’t sound remotely mean at all. I actually think that shows you’ve made a lot of progress and that you have a lot of strength. You recognize that you’ve done all you can and that you’re worth more than having to continually be both in and out because of the way he acts.

That being said, don’t feel guilty. Not talking to him has nothing to do with disrespecting him. It’s all about respecting yourself and doing what you need to do. You’re respecting yourself enough to take your power back and be strong.

All in all, it’ll take time, but he still keeps going out of his way to contact you. That says something. My ex just gets pouty and silent because he thinks I’m rejecting, which I sort of am, so at least your guy is missing you enough to want to check in 😛 They’re both still idiots, but that’s a silver lining I guess.