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Posts
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@Oshi I’m scared if I send it when he is with his friends or he is drinking then he won’t care to read it… or if I send it tomorrow morning he will have too much fun tomorrow night to even care..
Hey Ellie, I absolutely think you should not send that message!! Keep it for yourself to remind yourself why you should keep doing NC with your ex. Guys do not care about the long extremely emotional messages that girls send. It makes things a million times worse and he is going to feel awkward and very uncomfortable when it comes to you. It won’t leave the impact that you think it will. The majority of guys think these messages make the girl look desperate and hate them. Guys don’t process emotions like us girls do. These words are going to do nothing to improve your situation. Honestly, there are parts of the message that do make you seem desperate..Its better to keep the message because your ex is just going to roll his eyes, laugh because its emotionally ridiculous and delete it. Ive interviewed hundreds of guys concerning this topic because I write for womens magazines so I understand their viewpoint
There is no emotion in that message though? I’m telling him that I am flat out done with his shit. I am done playing games. He needs to know that I am leaving for good. What is the point in having a voice if I’m not allowed to speak my mind? I have kept quiet for so long and he won’t expect this out of me.
I don’t see it making him feel awkward. Knowing him it may piss him off at first. The whole thing is, I know I’m not some other girl to him. If I was, of course it won’t make an impact. But if I just text him “lol I knew it. Thanks a lot..” and he freaks out over that, I don’t see how that will be a problem.
@ellie dragongirl has a point. I think you should really consider the situation and the consequences because he might no see things the way you want him to see. Think about what you want and do what’s best for you. If you still feel like sending him this message then do so.
I know its hard Ellie to keep you mouth shut but rant to us. It will make no difference like we all think. Like I said it may get a rise out of him and he may think its either a ploy to get him back by threatening that you’re now gone for good or he might actually get scared and come back but if that somehow happens it won’t be sincere. I think you’re best just to get angry to us and be the bigger person and walk away. Yes its hard but it will be worth it :). Remember any emotion is a sign of love and he may well know that your anger is because you’re still in love with him. You walking away and not telling him how it is or being friendly with him will make him think and then hopefully if he reflects he will realise half the things you have mentioned in your letter.
I was so proud of myself for finally sticking up for myself.. I want to cry my eyes out because no one sees my point. My friend is making me feel obligated to do this because she said the cycle will never end. She wants me to let go of him so I can finally be happy. To her, she thinks he deserves an explanation. She isn’t even on the topic of getting him back. She is straight forward about me just being happy again and she said exactly this “the chaos has got to come to an end”.
But you guys are telling me not to talk to him.. it is so overwhelming. I think I’m going to have a panic attack because I don’t know what to do.
so you guys read our conversation from last night, you think that I should leave him like that? Because I bet now he thinks I’m playing games and he probably hates me for it. That’s why I wanted to say something. To end these games. I wanted to clear things up and put a stop to all of it in the hopes that it will get through his head in the future.
So what’s the outcome going to be leaving things the way they were last night? Because he seemed annoyed by his “really?” text after he texted me 5 times and called me twice. But I guess it is a mystery to him?
You guys tell me what to do. Playing by what I posted about last nights encounter.
Sorry if we’ve made you feel that way Ellie ! I don’t think it was any of our intentions but even if you send it depending on how he responds do you think it will actually help you to move on ? I think it would be easier for you to walk away and have nothing to do with him because if you’re over it at this point then it shouldn’t matter whether you walk away without saying anything to him. And to be honest who cares if he thinks you’re playing games, he’s obviously played games with you ! i’m currently feeling what you are my ex has played all these games with me and I’m sure he’s met someone else and was just using me. Feeling super down
It doesn’t matter… it would feel so much better just dropping it all. But I felt so guilty for doing that the past 2 times. Not so much the first time, but last week definitely. I know there are games being played but I know he doesn’t plan on letting me go. I know for a fact that he loves me and wants me in his future. He is just a selfish person. Like I said previously, he has mentioned to me before about how hard he is “trying”. He really thinks he’s trying.
I do care if he thinks that way because then that makes him want to give up. That makes him think less of me. Just like it did for me. I would never do what he’s done to me to anyone. I hate games and it makes me feel so bad.
But if I scared him last night by saying “Lol I knew It. Thanks a lot (name)..” and he texted me 5 times and called me, do you think my message could have been the “I’m done” message for him? And my silence now will make a difference?
Ellie he will know you arent playing games when you continue NC. I guarantee he does not see the letter from your perspective. And yes there is a lot if emotion in it and he’s going to think you are going to manipulate him.Guys do not respond to emotionally charged messages the way you think-they see it as a tactic to try to get him back so he will avoid you.Your friend is very wrong-dont listen to her!! Im an experienced relationship writer of ten years and I know how guys think during a breakup because Ive written countless articles. Find closure on your own-ignore his messages and refuse to play mind games. Leave him alone to think is so much better and very effective. You dont need to contact him to get closure. Delete the msg and he will see you as a strong confident woman not a desperate one. Trust me, these emotional messages are pointless and guys think they are dumb. There were a few guys that would show messages from their ex to their friends just to make fun of their words because they thought its so pathetic. Ive interviewed sooo many guys on this topic. I repeat, do not send your message-its the best thing you can do for yourself.
If you hate games then stop the cycle. While you aren’t playing a game in sending that message it may encourage more games from him or more mindfucks. Something like that. If he wants you in his life then he has to work for it and show you. You’re message last night saying you’re done should be signal enough if you just stop responding now and he should get the general idea of what you’re trying to say in that message you would like to send. Yu walking away calmly and like an adult will show him he has to make a choice and he has to consider it seriously.
@dragongirl can i get your opinions on my post its quite long but I’m struggling as to whether i should give up or keep pushing. I think that i should give up but for some reason just can’t accept it
Hi Coolcat! Im at work but I will take a look at your posts as soon as I can and try to help you out as well.
Ah bless you. Perhaps you will have a different insight from the others on here and my friends 🙂
@dragongirl My friend isn’t trying to help me get him back. She is telling me that I need to take care of myself and stop letting him control me. I guess I didn’t make it that clear, I’m sorry :/ She doesnt care how I do it, as long as I do it. She loves him and us together, but she is 100% right. He has had control over my life forever now..
But I do swear to you that I express no emotion. I flat out tell him this is why I’m done and I deserve better.
We were so close for that long. He’s had all my mushy gushy letters. He has never heard me say I’m done Though. I guess that’s how I wanted to get my power and shot him I’m done.
but you really think NC after our conversation last night is going to work out?
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