-
Posts
-
I plan on sending it later this evening! (Hopefully). What I mean by that is I want to send it at a time where I know he will be able to read it, but I also won’t be waiting for the text. Which would be perfect since he works 4-1 Sunday -__-
I was thinking of keeping a couple days of NC and then sending it will make even a bigger impression? I’m not sure, I was just trying to make myself feel better about waiting 2 more days! Haha! But the reason why I would wait is for that exact reason, not because I want to prolong this.
Do you think that text will open his eyes up? Maybe not right away because I’m sure he will take it harshly and go crazy and do what any guy does after being hurt, but do you think once everything settles in throughout NC it will make him realize?
I’d send him a letter but if he’s trying to be an asshole he could send it back or whatever. When he gets a text, I wouldn’t know if he read it or not.
Which is why I want to send it when I know he has the moment to read it.
I think it will open up his eyes. I just don’t know how long it will take. I mean, with no contact, it could take a week. Or it could literally take years. I think it’s pretty impossible that that message could fail to be eye opening for him, but he also seems pretty stubborn and confused still, so I wouldn’t be expecting anything anytime in the near future.
Should I send it now or when I feel it is convenient?
I completely agree with you. As long as at some point in his life it makes an impact. After everything you know about us, do you think he loves me? and do you think that will help influence him opening his eyes?
I think you should send it whenever you want to send it. If that’s now, then do it now. If you really want to send it when it’s convenient, send it then. I don’t personally think you should worry about his convenience at all, but if that makes you more comfortable, go for it.
I think he loves you. I don’t know why you’d continue to tell someone you love them and want a future with them seven months after you left them if you didn’t mean it. That being said, he’s clearly still really confused or in a messed up spot or just intentionally being an ass and using you, so loving you doesn’t excuse that. Like I said, I think it’ll influence him and help him out, but do not bank on that happening any time soon.
As rough as this is, at least he says he loves you and he personally knows he does. My ex can apparently act like it all day long, but he’s still in denial up to his neck about actually caring. I’d kill to hear him say he loves me, even if it doesn’t necessarily change anything right now 🙁
@ellie The message you wrote for him is really sincere. I’m sure it will make him emotional and think about what he wants, and how his behavior has been towards you. I’m sure it will make him realize how important you are to him, it’s just a matter of time when it will get to him and make him act or change the way things were. It’s not right and fair making you feel like this, you should be happy but instead you are feeling concerned and sad because of him. It shouldn’t be this way. You deserve someone who will appreciate your efforts and treat you right. He might figure out all of this and change his mind but right now like everyone’s said would be better focusing on your yourself and your happiness. I’m crossing my fingers for you!
Also can you give me your thoughts about something.
My ex’s called me again yesterday. It was late and I didn’t feel like talking to him so I called him back today. We talked for a while, laughing and such, then he ended the conversation and told me to keep in touch.
I just can’t understand him. Could be that he really wants us to stay friends but I’m not initiating at all and he keeps calling or texting me these last 3 weeks and it sometimes makes me feel like he’s doing me favor or something. I just don’t feel like talking to him at all anymore. I can’t understand his intentions so I don’t know what’s best to do.Oshi, if you don’t feel like talking to him at all anymore, I would just skip it. He’s probably missing you or probably does genuinely want to be friends, hence why he’s trying to put some effort forth. I wouldn’t think of it as him doing you a favor, just more that he cares enough to try and initiate something when he’s not hearing from you. That being said, if you’re NC or he’s using you or you feel like he’s still not getting the point, I’d just skip calling him back or a friendship all together. I guess my advice really just depends on what you think he’s thinking and what you’re ultimately looking for here.
@between I already did NC, we’ve met up a few times, agreed to stay friends but he didn’t initiate at all at first and since our last meeting everything’s changed. I made him think that I’m seeing someone and then he started to initiate. Acted like he’s a bit jealous but still when he’s talking to me it seems like he just wants to stay friends. He calls/texts me every few days and I’m trying to stay cool about all of it but I don’t know what’s best to do. I don’t really want to cut ties with him but on the other hand it’s hard for me to keep doing it and figure him out. I’m afraid that if I contact him I would come out as needy or something.
If he’s already contacting you, it’s not desperate for you to contact him. He wouldn’t do it if he wasn’t wanting to hear from you in some capacity. I think your biggest dilemma is that you need to decide whether it’s worth it to keep talking to him or not. If it’s detrimental to your healing, you don’t see things working out, he only wants to be friends, etc. then it may be better for you to let it go. If you do see some light or think that there’s a possibility of things working, try and stick it out a bit longer. In the long run, I think NC is really important in the beginning, but I think once that’s been broken by both sides then it really does become something that has to be at least slightly two-sided. You should certainly let him initiate most of the contact but if you don’t throw him a little bit of a bone, he’ll probably give up.
@Oshi You are saying what I said a couple weeks ago…and now look where I’m at.. You really need to evaluate the situation. Don’t go as far as I did if you feel you can’t handle it. I have gotten so strong because of it, but I had to go through a lot of pain to get there.. don’t play games..
I can’t decide whether or not to send it tonight or sometime later.. I would rather send it when I know he isn’t going to go and have fun as a distraction because he really needs to think. I know he will have somewhere to go tonight and tomorrow night. If I send it Sunday though, I am scared that he won’t care by then and it won’t phase him whatsoever.
Thank you guys! I really appreciate your advises!
You both are right. However it’s not like I’m trying to play games or trying to ignore him, it’s just that after our last meeting, I’ve really made up my mind and decided to move on. I felt like there’s no more hope for us but now suddenly he began to contact me which makes me confused about what I want right now. I’ll keep the situation like this for a while and initiate myself sometimes and if I see that nothing comes out of it then I’ll move on and stop this friendship with him.
@ellie How are you feeling? Did you send him this message?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.