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I know I offered support, by doing that I am basically comforting her and letting her know I’m still there for her right. Which is bad I’m guessing in this current situation right?
The main thing is that she has a new boyfriend. I think it’s disrespectful to you, maybe she can’t see it but you deserve better than to be her emotional support while she’s choosing to be with someone else.
Would you expect her to be the same if the roles were reversed?no 🙁 she does ask me if theres anyone new in my life :/ why does she care? :/ i told her I’m taking it slow and she goes oh thats understandable.
So I should just ignore her no matter what she goes through.
Is it possible that her boyfriend doesnt give her the same emotional support as me which is why she keeps coming to me for emotional support ? which will ultimately keep her in the relationship because she isn’t aware that without me she basically has no support ?
Arjun, you seem like a nice guy but the best thing to do is just No Contact. Its seems like she does miss you and thinks about you so do NC. It will keep her guessing and wondering and want you more not just for emotional support.
so should I initiate 1 month NC again ? or just carry on until she reaches out?
Thanks
As long as possible.
Improve yourself, go out on dates. Dont block her just go on with your life. Also read books/novels. Just do new stuff.
She told you she misses you, just know she is thinking about you. NC is key, Arjun!
yeah when she told me she misses me I felt good but I then straight away just said to myself that she doesnt miss me but she just misses my emotional support and my company
i don’t think she misses what we had.
When you say as long as possible, is that until I feel I am a better person or just as however long I can keep up with NC without breaking down ?
Dude, she misses you. Shes told you that twice as per your texts.
Do no contact until you get yourself together and you are happy again. Dont conatact her at all cosrs. She will want you back.
Stay positive. If you break down we are here for you. Dont contact her even a simple hi. Its no problem if you think about her coz she’s also thinking about you.
We’ll help you through this, even on your first contact with her.
I heard that with most things, success is 80% mindset and 20% strategy
Do what’s best for you and what makes you happy, life’s too short to stress over things like this.
Easier said than done, but just do what’s best for yourself in the long run and the right people will enter and stay in your life.So if she reaches out then just basically leave her alone to suffer whatever she is going through with this guy?
What if she thinks I’m a total bitch and that I have changed :/ then what ?
Im scared that is going to happen
and woow you guys are amazing 🙂 thanks so much
Well I was speaking hypothetically but in the conversation where she told me she missed me. I said ‘well you’re man can probably make it better’ to which she replied ‘Idk nah man I don’t know’ and I said sorry that I am sticking to my decision of not talking to her (this was after she told me she missed me) and that this whole stress is going to continue and she said ‘Well I don’t know cause I don’t want to tell him’.
I still had no idea what the problem was lol but then she opened up to me telling’I don’t know, you at least knew everything before we went out, he doesnt’ to which I replied ‘wadya mean’. She said ‘You knew me right, before we out my issues or whatever’, I said ‘okay…’ she goes ‘Don’t you get it, how am I supposed to tell him then’
It was going back and forth with replies saying I cant be here as a support and then she told me she has been having this stress for ‘ages’. She then told me eventually that
‘Im feeling really shit about everything and I know I’m just pushing him away as well cause I don’t talk to him properly and he probably has no idea whats up’
So these are some of the problems I’m referring to when I say when she is suffering but I am more focusing on problems in the future like if she has no emotional support I’m scared what will happen to her because with me I was there for her when she needed me and Im scared he wont be able to provide the emotional support for her when she’s stressing out by herself.
At one point we were different religions, and knew we would eventually have to end it and go our separate ways because we weren’t the same religion and then we spoke about how we would still be best friends and stuff. Then I took an interest into her religion and our future became visible and actually possible but we still always said if anything happens we will still be the same really close funny best friends and so to take this away from her and rid her of our closeness she thought we would have after our break up kinda hurts :/
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