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Yes i agree with ur friend and thats what i wanted to say. You should let her have other relationship experiences (may be a year is too long!) for sometime so she can realise it herself there is no one better out there who would treat her like u did…
Unfortunately for some people this is requires to appreciate what they had …
Continue dating… May be she already knows that u are dating other girls and she panicking she will lose u… And that mighty be the other reason why she did act wierd sometimeHaha she definitely won’t see an apology from me.
It’s interesting you say that about the dating. I may or may not of included this on this forum already but she didn’t contact me until about 1.5 months into NC. This was the morning after she saw me out on a date. Which has led up to her texting me 4 different times now and doing these weird spying/stakerish things.
She just turned 20. I just turned 22. It was a first love/high school sweetheart kind of relationship.
U have treated her so well (gifts & paying for her dinner etc) and comforted her with ur love, she felt very safe in the relationship. She probably thought u will never leave her and you will always love only her… And when she saw u with ur date, it shocked her and she panicked that she may actually really lose u and ur love forever… She probably imagine u doing all these romantic gestures to someone else and not her anymore… I presume thats why she felt like sending u msges, stalking u etc …
I think in ur situation things could go two ways: a) she would appreciate u and respond to ur love with full commitment to u b) take u for granted and occasionally hurt ur feelings…and it seems she is following b…
I am not saying this to put a blame on her. She is very young and she is not experienced enough in life to make wise decisions in for herself…
She will get there by time … She already started feeling regret but she needs to make a lot of changes in her (learn to be loyal) before u accept her back….
You deserve to be with someone u can fully trustI’d say you hit it right on the head Jasminka.
I get times during NC where I want her back so bad, but I’m mentally always telling myself there is nothing I should have to do to get her back. She’s been doing this whole pretend to be single and talk to whoever she wants game off and on since we’ve started dating, just like she currently is with this new guy. This time the guy is me and it just messes with my head. Is she really trying to come back for good, or is she just looking for attention/playing games still? It’s so frustrating. Deep down, I have no idea what to do, which is why I’m more for letting go.
I never ended up thanking her. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I feel like it may open a door and I’m not ready for that because I’m unsure of what her true intentions are. It really sucks, because aside from her commitment issues, I love everything else about her. Someday she will grow out of that. I know 10 years down the road, if I’m still looking for a girl and she is currently married, I may be kicking myself in the ass.
At the end of the day its not healthy to be with someone who treated me the way she did. That’s why this NC is so crucial to me. If I’m starting to sound like a crazy person please nip that in the bud for me. I’m a big fan of pep talks lol.
I wish I knew what the better option was at this point, because now I’m at 48+ hours where I haven’t responded. Part of me says let her go and don’t contact her. If she tries harder at some point, she can be mine if I choose. Plus the 2 day time table now might come off as weird now.
Another part of me says I should text her something like “Thanks for the birthday wish and the condolences for my dog”. I don’t know if at this point its wise for me to continue being so cold. In a way it makes me feel as if I’m immature by not having the decency to reply to kind gestures. I’m sure she knows I’m still upset with her, but if I show no effort/interest what so ever I imagine she will give up sooner rather than later. Does that sound right?
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