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hi kevin
Interesting situation here. Tried writing a while ago to you about my situation so maybe ur familiar with it, maybe you’re not. Ill give you a short version of it. Im 21, she’s 19. We dated for 6 months and everything went great all the way until the day of breakup. We even had sex the night before and she texted me all happy the day of the breakup. We broke up 5 weeks ago and i left her a letter after 3 and a half weeks of no contact. However I’ve found out she has had another boyfriend for a while now apparently. She claimed she really loved me and she seemed really passionate for me in our relationship. However when the breakup happened her crazy parents and her crazy roommates tell her that she’s better then me and all this stuff (and when i say crazy i mean they really are I’m not saying this outta anger). She may actually believe that because she’s pretty impressionable. I actually treated her really well, and she broke up with me because she thought i wasn’t romantic enough and she was hurt by a few bad jokes.
My question for you is this. Considering i treated her pretty well, and she got a new boyfriend after just a couple of weeks, do you think this is a rebound relationship? Or do you think she really believes I’m not worth it and has already moved on. We were each others first loves and lovers. Surely that has to mean something?Its a rebound. She wants to try something new. Im sure this guy spoke all sweet to her. Once she sees its not the same she’ll be back.. they all do. Grass isn’t always greener on the other pasteours like the world claims.
maybe shell never comeback :/ i mean she’s so influential she just listens to everything her roommates and parents say even tho they’re nuts… i mean the 2 roommates are REAL talk nuts.. thats who she’s listening to….. she knows I’m a good guy. She actually let them convince her thats I’m verbally abusive. Her best friends had to step in and tell her to give her head a shake
Friends are bad influence they always say the wromg shit n push them away. Just do NC she’ll call u. Trust. I thot this system was BS i tried it and it works. I miss my ex i want her back but im strong now i know how she plays n the longer im away the more she misses me. Its the same with everyone. Just do urself meanwhile. U focus on her n ur done. U loose the battle. Focus on u n win the war. Up to u wat u want
u think i should just completely NC her until she calls? like even if it takes months?
Just do NC, is not always true that she will contact u ,i’m at 6 weeks NC and she still dosent contact me (and we were 4 years togheter and now shes with someone else)
My only advice is stop thinking about her(i know it ,i even think sometimes at her),do all you wanted to do.
You will know if they are on rebound if they stay till 3 months relationship,if they stay more than 3 months,then it’s a serious relationship.
Don’t contact her,or tell her about her new boyfriend,u will screw things up. Just go out,have fun ,go to dates,try to forget her even if u love her,the pain it’s not worth for someone who goes with someone else. Try to be a better man.yeah its a good idea i think as well. Even if it isn’t a rebound i think shell miss me or regret this one day. our relationship was VERY passionate and i was her first love and the breakup was over really bad reasons. I always treated her so well.. and we had a lot in common. i was her first sexually as well.. I know that isn’t everything obviously but it must mean something to be that and her first love.
Yes do NC and keep improveing yourself. When she is done with this rebound and looks at you she will be impressed with the new you, and question it when her friends said “she was to good for you”…
You also have some good cards on your hands.
You were her first big love. She will never forget that, and she will keep comparing her new dates to you. You also treated her very well. So she will only have good memories of you.You migth want to google “Grass is Greener syndrome”…
In fact here are the 2 best articles I know on this topic:
What is G.I.G.S: (Click here
More details on G.I.G.S (Click here)I dont know if this is a clear case of Grass is Greener, but given her young age I think a lot of the stuff applies here. She needs time to grow up and mature. She needs to be able to stand on her own legs, make her own mistakes and mlst importantly: make her own decissions about you without her friends.
i really appreciate your advice man. But how long do u think this growing up could take? this doesn’t sound like the couple months thing, this sounds like years long!
also i think you might be right about G.O.G. She broke up with me because she said i wasn’t romantic enough. Basically i worked 9 hour shifts then drove 40 minutes to see her right after (I’m 21 so i only work in a deli at a supermarket but those 9 hour shifts are tiring because ur on ur feet running around all day long and she knows that). i also wasn’t that emotional when it came to her but she knows i think that i have changed (100x after the breakup i told her i could and showed her). She also kinda lives in this fairytale world. Her favorite movie is the notebook and she loves these love stories that aren’t real yet she thinks they are. She thinks relationships will be perfect. Is this G.O.G? She also did say stuff like if its meant to be its meant to be and maybe one day but move on!
It does sound like G.I.G.S to me. Or at least it is a big part of it. I am sure that the suggestions in the articles will benefit you a lot. NC and work on yourself. Let her think that she “lost you”.
Now for the bad news: it takes time! Sadly I have had 3 experiences with G.I.G.S.
First GF:
She quickly rebounded straigth after the break up (8 year relationship) she was cold as ice for the 6 months she was with him. Didnt even bother to look at me if we passed by each other. Then when her rebound crashed and burned came 3 months of her being single and missirable. And then she came crawling back. So it took her 9 months total.
When she was single we meet a couple of times in the club. We had a great time, a lot to drink and talked like we always do. But one time I meet a beatyful girl and ofcause started to hit on her. THAT was the exact moment my ex wanted me back. She litteraly threw her glass at the floor and made a big scene in the middle of the club. I guess she just needed to see that I had moved on before it all hit her.Girlfriend #2
She entered a rebound 4 months later. After 3 months together she moved in with him in another city. It took 2 years!! But now she wants me back more then ever and still drunk calls me every now and then to beg.Girlfriend #3
My current ex. Its been 7 months so far.So: dont put a timeframe on it, cause this is not gonna happend overnight
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