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I am dealing with a breakup with my boyfriend that came out of no where and I am having a really really hard time coping with it and trying to understand it. I want him back. Here is our story.
Him and I met back in December and randomly texted each other for a month. We started communicating monthly in January and decided to go on out first date in February. After our first date, we decided we were going to date exclusively. We decided to let each other meet the kids (he has a two year old daughter and I have a four year old son) We were in constant contact all throughout the day and would hangout as often as we could with or without the kiddos.
We allowed our relationship to progress naturally and only had one small fight the entire 6 months we were together. In July he started to tell me that he loved me and the beginning of this month (August) he had told me he wanted to move in together when my lease was up at the end of the year. We were super happy and crazy in love. I felt 100 % secure with this amazing man I had found.
He had been trying to get on with a fire academy and had been testing since December and he found out this past Friday that he did not make it. It crushed him. I let him know that I was there for him but gave him some space over the weekend to cope. I would just text him to let him know I was thinking about him and that I loved and missed him. And he was responsive. Everything seemed fine.
Well, on Monday… he seemed extremely distant and I decided to check his facebook page and noticed he had hid our relationship that day. So I text him and asked him if everything was okay with us and he told me that he was going through some stuff after not making the academy and he was trying to figure out what he needed to do to better and stand out next academy and we would talk about. I met up with him and he told me that he didn’t think that we should be together anymore because he needed to focus on getting where he needed to be for academy and his daughter and his career and he did not think it was fair to me that I would not be a priority. I was crushed. I am crushed.
I do not understand how everything between us was perfect and how he could just push me away after everything we went through together. And with such a cold and emotional break up at that.
Please help 🙁
PS. We have only been broken up for 4 days and I have not contacted him at all post break up.
It’s gonna be alright, just don’t worry. I know it feels horrible, but don’t panic, I think you have pretty good chances. You should follow the 5 steps plan by Kevin, believe me, it really works; either you get your ex back or manage to move on during /after the No Contact.
I agree with Chatnoir!! You guys seemed to have a real good relationship and I think it can be patched up but first he has to miss you and figure out what he wants. Whatever you do, dont pressure him
It feels terrible. My whole world is crushed. I am trying to stay strong. He didn’t delete me off Facebook, should I delete him? And I have seen that he is looking at “my story” in snapchat so I know he is looking at my p
Stay strong, Crissy, it will hurt awhile, maybe even for weeks or months, but I won’t always be this bad. It’s really fresh now, but soon you will get more and more of those moments, when you are relaxed and not thinking about your ex all the time. Be with your friends and concentrate on yourself, but not to your pain and misfortune. As for your ex, I think soon he will know what he wants, and if he wants you, he will regret the break up so much. Don’t give up and don’t pressure him, so it can be his idea to get back together again.
Thank you so much for your help. I am going to stay strong and not contact him. I am respecting his decision.
I guess this doesn’t help the situation either: He is 26 and I am 30. I am very successful and he struggles financially. On several occasions, he had expressed that he didn’t like how there were a lot of times I would have to pay for things because he was broke cause he wanted to spoil me and contribute. He kept stressing that he couldn’t wait until he was in academy so he could finally be the bread winner and spoil me. I told him that stuff didn’t bother me because we were a team and my money was our money but I think as a man it affected him more than he expressed.
Sorry to keep adding more. I’m a thinking and analyze everything :((
Yes, you might be right, dominance is an important issue for men (as I know), even financially. Usually, we (women) think that it’s only nice and lovely to help them in something, but sometimes in these cases, we take away their chances to play the dominant role in the relationship. I don’t know if this alone can cause a break up, but maybe by breaking up with you, he is trying to show that he was the control and power over you.
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