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Hey!
Today it has been about 36 hours since starting NC.
For some background, I broke up with him over a month ago, then regretted it and it was already too late. We just started college in separate states. I did the classic begging and pleading at first, but now we are just acting as friends. He says we might work out again later, but doesn’t see it happening any time soon (I was clingy and didn’t give space after all). We talk almost every day, but I monster Uniate contact. I’ve made significant changes since we broke up and I am much happier with myself and he’s proud of me too. I started NC and muted him on all social media. He is still sending me snaps, messages, and he even asked how my day was last night (which I have all ignored). It’s strange because that would normally sound like he’s still interested but he keeps saying he wants time and he wants to be able to date around for a while. He hasn’t even changed his relationship status on FB, I’m still his lockscreen, and his IG profile pic is still of us. It may be because he hates change and hasn’t found better pictures to change it to. Anyways, I don’t know if complete NC is the best way to go. Should I just keep it minimal and brief, or should I do complete NC for however long I decide to do it? I’m mainly doing this right now because I am desperate for him to come back around, but I’m glad I’m doing this so I can learn how to be independent and maybe realize it’s not what I want after all. I just don’t want to play games with him and he’ll think I’m really not interested and move on. What do I do?“Should I just keep it minimal and brief, or should I do complete NC for however long I decide to do it?”
“I am desperate for him to come back around, but I’m glad I’m doing this so I can learn how to be independent and maybe realize it’s not what I want after all.”
Complete NC for at least one month should be better for you than maintaining minimal contact with him. Just be sure to inform him first that you want to take a break and regenerate after the breakup for some time.
“I just don’t want to play games with him and he’ll think I’m really not interested and move on.”
Love, connection and memories don’t fade away so quickly and easily. It can take a lot of time to stop loving somebody. If you were together for significant amount of time then you can be sure that even after NC he can still have feelings for you.
“For some background, I broke up with him over a month ago, then regretted it and it was already too late.”
“I’ve made significant changes since we broke up and I am much happier with myself and he’s proud of me too.”Why did you break up? What was the issue? How long were you together? What did you do in order to fix the issue?
Thank you so much for your reply!I submitted this thread over a day ago but it took a long time to be approved. During that time, he kept messaging me how I was doing, and asking how I was, and eventually he asked if I was upset or ignoring him. I just briefly responded, “everything’s fine, I’ve been busy doing my own stuff” and left it at that. He kept trying to respond so I just gave two more brief close-ended responses. I think he’s just a really nice guy who is concerned about my well-being and just wants me to be happy in life. I can’t tell if he wants me back or if he’s just being a good friend. I’ve always been attached to him like a leech and I think it’s unnerving for him to not hear from me. I think he was so used to the fact that I’d always be an option because I was so desperate, that he’ll realize he needs to fight for me if he wants me in his life again.
Also, to answer your question, we were together for over two years. I was dealing with mental illness that progressed over time since I was still living at home (things weren’t great at home) and it was making it really hard on him and I know he had a hard time enjoying our relationship because of it. He was so supportive on me but it was draining for him. He eventually started acting resentful and wanted out but didn’t know how to, so I ended it. Since then it’s like I’m a different person. Now that I’m out of the house, I’m happy, excited about life, and have even changed my thought process. He’s really proud of me for making these changes and so am I. I think he needs time to heal and doesn’t completely trust that these changes are real, which I completely understand. I just think we could have a much better relationship after I do NC and heal and learn how to live without him.
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