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So I posted on here a week ago about how I thought I’d been successful in reigniting something with my ex. Well now I’m very unsure and back to square one on how I felt the day he broke up with me. In case you don’t know my story we argued a lot and over really stupid shit and it just built up to where I moved out and then one more argument after that really tipped him over the edge. This last week has been up and down, I’ve felt like I’m on eggshells and am still anxious all the time! We met up on Tuesday a couple days after he got emotional and said he hadn’t given up yet. This was so promising and we were messaging a bit more and stuff, then Tuesday night I wanted to talk about a few things that I had felt the last two weeks and it turned into a little argument and I have no idea how or why. We managed to talk it out but I was quite emotional. Then wednesday night he went out with his friends drinking and he messages me at 1am asking me to come over after I had suggested it earlier. I was like nah babe its too late, but I’ll come by in the morning and give you a hangover breakfast. Went by and made him breakfast, he was happy and we had a great time for an hour and made out heaps and stuff and then I went home to study. We messaged occasionally and also had plans for a movie that night from earlier in the week. He messaged me about an hour before saying he vomitted (I believe him on that) and we cancelled and then I just popped by to his house unannounced and just wanted to see how he was. He was playing video games with his friend (who doesn’t like me and doesn’t think he and I should get back together cause he saw us in some of our most unhappiest times etc) and my ex was not impressed to see me and I started to get emotional and this ticked him off even more. We didn’t have much contact after then and now like he’s been sort of distant, he said we’re ok but wouldn’t give me much else. We were also sexting a bit and sending a couple photos etc. Today I went to see him in a bit of an emotional state and he was again distant and said that he was trying really hard that last week and he “wasn’t really feeling it”. I can’t even comprehend how or why he said that. It has crushed me and I don’t know what to do. After those couple good days we had together and we were passionate and happy at some periods. Like the argument didn’t mean to happen and the other night after I popped by unannounced and he got annoyed. I know he’s confused and stuff but how can he do this, like go from saying “I want this to work, I’ll do anything (couple’s counselling etc) to now “Wasn’t really feeling it”. We have a couple date like plans this week, going to the movies together and then there is this fireworks event next weekend and we’re going with a small picnic in the afternoon and evening together. We’ve decided that we’re not going to see anyone else at all right now as well so I’m really not sure. I’m devastated again!
i think its great that you agreed not to see anyone else while your both figuring this out. BUT! you’re smothering him and hes not responding well to it. I think you need to get control of your emotions and pull back from him.
GIVE HIM SPACE. ALLOW HIM TO MISS YOU.
If youre always there and always emotional then you’re going to make your bf feel like he has all the power and that your feelings dont matter. Remember your self worth. You deserve someone who would walk 1000 miles to see you. the relationship has to be 50/50 – it takes two people to make it work so dont put all that pressure on yourself.
If i knew i could get back with my ex.. i would seriously walk 2000 miles to get to her. but she doesnt feel the same way so its time for me to move on.
He’s giving me so many mixed signals though. Like he can beg me to come over but if I go over to check on him I’m in the wrong. I thought last week when he called me up and said he wanted to give us another shot that we were on the right track to starting something new again but then he said what he did last night. Like which one could be the truth, why would he say last night he wasn’t really feeling it even though the last week yet acted super happy and in love and stuff. During our two weeks off I messaged him a bit but not a lot and then we hadn’t seen each other in over a week when he messaged me and said all the positive things he did. Like he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would just use me for sex and stuff and I don’t think he’s doing all of this on purpose but I don’t know what to believe or how to act. I want this to work more than anything and when he suggested couples counselling I was like oh great we can talk together in a safe space but then he said he doesn’t want to do that straight away and he only meant doing it as friends. Like wtf. I’m trying to back off now and hopefully help myself and just prepare in case he really doesn’t love me anymore like he says and not to contact him too much. But any other advice would be much appreciated 🙂
Also we had an intimate moment on Tuesday night after we got over our argument we were kissing a lot and really getting in the mood but I couldn’t/didn’t want to do anything. I instead pleasured him, which I regret in a way but it happened and we had that amazing moment. He definitely doesn’t seem like the guy that just uses girls. He’s pretty much only had sex when in relationships and only had 2 major relationships before me.
I’m worried that if you don’t listen to the advice of this website and what everybody is saying that you’re going to wish you did. You have an opportunity to get him back- ONE CHANCE! Don’t blow it!
But is this really a chance that he’s giving me if he’s saying he’s trying really hard but isn’t feeling it. I feel like he pity’s me and is just doing it to see where it may go but is pretty sure he doesn’t want it anymore. Cause when I saw him yesterday, it was unnecessary of me and I probably fucked up even more but he was very distant and didn’t give me much in the way of hugs and kisses and stuff.
NC!!!!
Let him come to you!
You can’t force someone to feel a certain way. But you can have them realize what it means to be without you. You need to allow him to miss you. Stop talking to him! Once he realizes “oh wait… Where did she go?!” He’ll contact you and even then you should play it cool. Let him take control. If he wants you then he’ll fight for you. If he doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant to be.But you’re going to ruin your chances if you proceed as you are.
Yeah I’m gonna start doing that right now and thats what I did when he then came to me. But its very hot and cold and i hate it. We have a movie date and a cute little picnic by the river under the fireworks for the weekend planned does that all sound promising ?
Text him and say that you have been thinking and its weird but you have accepted the break up.Tell him that you think both of you needed this.Say you are sorry if you ever acted pushy or anything like that,wish him all the best and Start NC.Don’t break it and continue it for a month.
During this time,make on yourself and make positive changes in your life.Don’t stalk him on social media and focus on your own life.You should learn to be happy without him in your life.Thats the first step.
Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.Best of Luck
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