-
Posts
-
I’m so sorry to hear that. To put it bluntly, you ex seems like a tool. I really think you deserve better than the crap he’s putting you through. I thought my ex was bad but at least she has the common sense to stay out of my life more than anything.
You shouldn’t apologize for anything anymore. You’re the bigger person here and while it sucks most of us are in that position it seems. We’ll get through it. I got an e-mail from my relationship coach. Might help you out a bit:
“NC is more for the client most of the time really because if you wish to pursue your ex and make her see that you are worthy of that second chance then it would be necessary for you to make her see that you do not bring along a roller coaster of emotions this time around. However in your case it seems to me that your ex needs it more than you. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t waiting for her to have a 180 degree change. For example, her attitude of masking her real emotions may remain whatever happens simply because that is her natural defense mechanism. ”
I guess sometimes NC is more beneficial for the dumper than the dumpee. Attitudes of exes can be outright childish at times. -shakes head-
@ThePhoenix Seems like a tool? Hahaha, more like, is one. Thank you for your words. I know I deserve better, but I’m angry at myself for thinking that we could at least have an adult conversation about the split, his stuff, etc. I know how immature he is, and I think the long NC softened me on that. I forgot just how big of a tool he really is. I’d agree with what your coach said. I think my ex needs it more than me, but he’d never realize it or take advantage of it. I don’t like myself around him, and was definitely happier and relaxed during NC. The way he acts, you’d think I was the one who left him. I’m not even upset by him to be honest, it’s all with myself. I’m mostly over it now. I’m going to finish my wine, with my email closed down of course. 😉
Have you been in contact with the previous ex anymore? My thoughts on the matter is that you shouldn’t regret it. Your recent ex broke up with you, you are a free woman! Enjoy the attention and the fun. 🙂
@Nell Yes, IS a tool. Haha. I’ll drink to that.
I’m actually talking with her now, but she seems less chatty than last night. I’m a little disappointed, but better than nothing. And yeah, I can do as I please now. Odd concept for me that hasn’t fully settled in the old noggin’ as far as other people go.
Hey!
Should i make my relationship status on fb as single? It’s blank right now… I know asking this may sound a bit ridiculous but don’t know, lol. She didn’t seem worried in changing hers to in a relationship weeks after breaking up with me, so why should I care?
Archola:
Kevins email yesterday suggested keeping it blank. I have mine blocked since we broke up so I cant tell. I know he is mad at me because i have kept him blocked.
Day 3 of no contact.
Last night she texted me,
“Hey baby I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait to see you”
It’s because she broke up with me and wants me to stay best friends with her…but I said no. All I want is a relationship with her. She has love for me. But idk what’s going on.
She called me like 7 times in a row. No pick up. And no reply.
Today….I didn’t get a call or a text…..it’s just making me think that she’s at this other guys house that she likes….it’s killing me….i was expecting something…..but I got nothing from her today :, (
@Carmine828 leave it blank for how long? I really started facing the fact she really is serious about that relationship she has. Don’t know how she did after everything but yeah…and i just feel worse and worse.
Just heard from my sister that my ex is is a relationship with the girl I suspected. 99% sure it’s a rebound. It has been a little over a month since the breakup. Seems way to quick. Thoughts?
I’m holding up okay, but I did have a moment of ‘ yup, thought so.’ Followed by my stomach churning a bit.
Archola
Kevin does not say how long. He only says that you keep ot blank,but start putting photos of you having a good time and Liking all kinds of cool things, like places, concerts,adventures,etc. That surely works. My ex is churning right now because he thinks i am staying at a hotel with some friends. We are at the gig right now,and we have been talking esporadically about details of the gig and sometimes aboit us. He is still mad or so he wants to portray. He is playing cool,but I know better. Im as docile as a kitten. After today Ill do my Houdini act for ar least 2 weeks. He will have to call me first. Of he does not,them Ill call it quits. Im very sad but Im tired of explaining myself and he wont even admit he provoked my downfall.
Day 4 no contact
Text message
Saying that she thinks about me a lot and that she misses me and loves me and she really hopes to get back together one day.
I just want her back now though :, (
@Carmine828 Yeah, I’ll keep it like that. I doubt my ex ever went into my fb since we broke up but whatever. I really doubt she thinks about me as she seems very happy with her new relationship and seems it’s to last. Don’t know, maybe it’s me giving up but it’s what I really feel like doing. Everytime I think about her I just get hurt and thinking what she said to me last time and imagining stuff… Bah…i really need to stop being so depressed.
An update on my situation 2 months on from ending NC.
I have been in the friendship/false friendship zone since I ended NC and feel on the whole that perhaps I have made some steady progress towards a potential reconciliation later this year.
I spoke to my Ex for an hour and 20 mins on the phone yesterday and she liked that I publicly said that it was the sweetest convo that I’d had in a long time.
She has said when messaging me that she is looking forwards to sharing a big cuddle with me when me meet up later this year. She has a couple of personal issues that she must attend to first and I have been supporting her on this.
She put up one of them quote pictures yesterday which said in it somewhere something like “for the wind is gentler than my lips” to which I sent her a message saying “nothing is gentler than your lips honey.. except maybe mine?”
She responded with “yeah and your hands.”
All soundd promising stuff huh? There have been times when I have felt down about how things are going though and I have felt like spitting my dummy out again and arguing with her. I promised myself after NC that I didn’t want to go down that route again though, so when I feel that she isn’t herself or if I feel upset about something then I just try giving each of us a few days space before starting a new convo from scratch with her.
It’s been hard work, but two months is the longest we have spoken to each other since without having a falling out since I ended our relationship last June.
Fingers crossed something will come of it when the time is right as I jave no doubts whatsoever that she is still in love with me. I just hope that is enough for her to trust me with her heart again.
Well, today is Day 1 NC. Yesterday was a total nightmare. The show was vancellwd due to heavy rains that started when we were playing the first song, and the event was in an open amphitheater. When I went to my car, my battery was dead. Then I called him to let him now what eas going in and he barked at me when I told him I have been calling him for a while (he is the band manager)he later applogized,told me was truly stressed by the tain fiasco. I have road assistance and I called. He came and stayed with me “as a civility act”,we talked a little until the help arrived. After that ankthwr band member and his girlfriend came up and told us they would go to a pub we play often. They left. It was a matter until I said something,he attacked me again,and all went ballistics. We had a fight. I got to my car and drive off,he called me,conrltinued the argument. Then things slowly calmed down. I told him that he must stop bringing up the breakup. Long story short we hot to the place, all the band was there, we all had drinks and I shared some appetizers with him. When I left he walked me to my car. We spoke there for a while. He agreed that je was the one who screwed things in the begining, and that I have been pit through a lot of unnecessary stuff because of his decisions. He told me he had feelings for me but his love for me is hidden somewhere under his anger and he does not feel madly in love anymore. I told him I knew exactly what he meant because I had the same feelings and thats why I broke up. He finally swore that he would never bring up the past again, and that I would do the same. We begged me to call him when I got home,which I did. He has no idea Im going NC. But I have to be strong,otherwise my chances will be lost forever.
Regardless of me getting him back or not, NC at least will help me deal with bad stuff of my own,and him too. We both have a lot of pain to leave behind, and its clear we both have a lot still.
My best friend graduated yesterday as yoga instructor, And will start giving classes soon,that will be my new thing to do besides continuing my sevillanas,and also Im back to my sax playing. Full hands for me. But it really sucks when nothing you do compares to your times with your ex 🙁
I count on you gang for your support!!!@ThePhoenix So your ex is with the troll girl? I’m sorry that your suspicions were confirmed, that’s not a great feeling. I think it’s rebound, based on what you’ve said about your ex, it would make sense for her to jump into one so quick.
@Rican27 It’s like she’s sticking her finger in the wound. That’s rough, hang in there man, I think NC is the way to go. Stay strong!
@Sparky That all sounds very promising! I admire the work and patience you’ve put in. I also think it’s really great that you have been there for her and her daughter. I think you really know what you are doing by stepping back when you feel that things could go sideways. I hope everything works out.
@Carmine828 Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that your gig was cancelled, how rotten! And then everything else after? What a night! You survived though and I think you came through it all very well. I’m sorry that your ex is still angry, but I think you are being very smart and making the right decision to go back into NC. I think you still have good chances. The yoga sounds exciting! I’ve been doing it for a few years and love it. I think you will too, it makes you feel so much better about everything.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.