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Posts
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16 days NC here. Still writing for myself everytime i feel like talking to her and I still check her social media, though. I cant help but do it. She still has some comments on pictures and stuff related to me after almost 2 months being with that new guy. I thought it was a rebound but maybe it’s not? I’ve said this earlier here before but anyway, just wanna update you guys 🙂
Trying to stay strong and not contacting her. I know she will have some exams in february to apply to university and last time we saw each other i actually offered my help, as I knoq quite a bit of maths and etc and I doubt she knows anyone with my knowledge (not being cocky). But doubt she will. She seems happy with that new guy, even if she started it a couple of weeks after we broke up. Trying to be more positive, but sometimes it just doesn’t help.
@confusedbutok Haha, oh, ouch! Yeah, I tried to explain too. Mine was a combo of button pushing and standing up for myself for bad behavior of his that was affecting me. He told me that I was outright attacking him. Haha, whatever.
@archola Yeah! Over two weeks! Keep going. Don’t worry about being cocky, own it. 🙂 For instance, I know I’m the best looking and most intelligent woman my ex will ever get, and I will not apologize for that, haha.Its true they react when they see some activity that suggests moving on. Even though I left the ball on his court, I changed my gmail profile picture from US to Me, a pic of me alone. Since I use this email for the band communication, I replied to a group message and Bam! He started texting like crazy, asking trivial questions about what I sent,instead of using the email. I kept it nice but normal. I rubbed him a lityle LOL!!!
Im starting to think that he wont actually react until he sees me or imagines im dating. I reallu dont feel like it,and I hate ising other people in this. But Im pretty sure thats next if by the end of this week I dont see any improvement.
Hey Everyone,
I was asked to upload a lot of picture on to facebook…and my ex is in most of them. If I upload them does this mean I am breaking no contact?
@Martin
No pics including your ex. You need to show you’ve moved on. If the pics were already up it’d be different. Any pics you post now should be of your new fun life without her.These pictures are a year old from tomorrow. The others wanted it uploaded.
I guess I will just make an excuse to not upload them.
Anyway thanks for the advice…that was life saving.
Yeah it was a group holiday in Amsterdam. It is just not her in the picture…my other mates are there too.
I would suggest sending the pics to a friend that was in the group then so THEY can upload them. That way you’re still getting the pics out there but it doesn’t look funny. Thoughts?
@Martin
Do as ThePhoenix suggests. Very good!@confusedbutok and @ThePhoenix
Thanks! I have done that already :p
I uploaded them into dropbox and posted the link at the group page on Facebook.
Talking about dropbox…I have decided to let her access my account and the files until set time…a year from now. There’s no need to immediate hostility.
But thanks guys.
Also I have decided to move on…if she comes, then fine…if not well, I’ll make her feel sorry for what she missed out on.
I broke NC, after about 50 days, and messaged my ex the other day and last night we exchanged several messages. He got back to me fairly quickly, which surprised me. I wasn’t expecting to hear from him for a few days.
I started by asking what he wanted to do with his stuff, and from there he started talking about the divorce. It’s clear he hasn’t really thought things out and he also seems to think I don’t know anything and I’m going to go along with what he wants. I’ve already spoken to someone about the legal aspect, so I’m not clueless.
It wasn’t bad, but he got defensive and brought up some past stuff. He made a backhanded comment about my friend. I’m not sure how much further I’m going to get speaking to him since he is still acting pissy. I said what I wanted to happen as we move forward with this and I also spoke some about how I was feeling about things. I told him that I want to speak more on that as part of speaking my peace and moving on. He hasn’t responded. I don’t really care if he is upset by what I said, what’s he going to do? Breakup with me? Ha ha, bad joke. 🙂
I didn’t blame or attack, and I used “I feel” language. I was civil. I feel good about what I said, and I stated what I wanted. I also feel good knowing I put some of what I’ve been feeling out there, even if he doesn’t understand or want to listen, I know I tried and that’s important to me. I’m not expecting him to answer anytime soon, and I’m prepared for him to be angry, defensive, or even attack me after what I put out there. I’m not bothered by any of it, and now the ball is in his court. I’m not going to initiate another message anytime soon, and I’m going back into NC until he reaches out or replies.
Sorry to hear you had a rough encounter with him. The “I feel” talking is good, congrats on that! I find that in my case when I use that language it doesn’t mean jack with my ex. :\ I hope things turn out well for you!
I noticed something interesting… my ex has often complained about being SO busy and the like. I know this isn’t true as she told me numerous times this semester was going to be easier than the last one as she’d have more free time. I saw the time logs my friend has as we both watch her son during the week (different days, of course). For someone who is “so busy” she typically spends an extra hour over here in comparison to me. Leaves me thinking she doesn’t want to go back to her place with her roomies. Trouble in paradise, perhaps? I don’t know why she’d be saying she’s so busy if she’s really not, let alone giving the air that she’s doing “okay” when she seems to be miserable in reality. Strange.
@ThePhoenix Thanks, girl. 🙂 I have had the same experience with my ex in the past. He never cared, but I put it out there for myself so that I can move on knowing I tried and I said what I had to say.
My ex has done the same thing. Usually, the “so busy” thing is an excuse or outright not true. I think she just wants you to think she is busy and doing great even though she isn’t. Maybe an ego or pride thing. I think often an ex wants themselves to believe they are better off without us and then low and behold they are not, but they’d never want to admit it to us, others, or even themselves. So, they try to put on that they are so busy, like your ex, even when you know she isn’t and have proof.
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