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@patrick d
if you want your ex back then do no contact otherwise she will friendzone you.
Hey everyone,
I got into a bit of a situation. On sunday evening I started to feel a bit anxious and asked my ex that I would like to meet her to tell her something. She had a interview the next day so she suggested that we should not and I agreed to that (I asked out of confusion). Anyway later you are guys (@Nell, @Confusedbutok, @ThePhoenix and @Sparky) adviced me on I decided that I should not talk about how I feel with her; and it seems like a wise thing to do.
Yesterday evening she rang me up and asked if I’d like to meet up to talk to her about that thing. I said “Err no its ok. Can I call you back a bit later?” . But I did not contact her after that. To be honest I was not expecting her to follow up on that phone call.
Any idea what I should do now?
P.S She is romantically dating someone and I want to win her back.
[Anyway later you guys (@Nell, @Confusedbutok, @ThePhoenix and @Sparky) adviced me that I should not talk about how I feel with her; and it seems like a wise thing to do.]*
—Just corrected the sentence.
@Martin thanks for the reply. I’ll stick to nc then. I really want to believe that given time she will reach out and want me back.
@patrick_d
The sooner you enter NC, the sooner she will comeback.
Just give it some time and make some changes in your life.
@Martin
I am on day 7 of NC. She always complained that I was too clingy and never created my own circle of friends here. Well in 1 week I have achieved a lot I think. Met new People and joining Clubs. Waiting on the wages this week and I can do more then.As for you, you told me not to get friendzoned. Don’t do that to yourself. I think that telling her how you feel would be dangerous right now. Go nc and don’t give in this time
@brian-mc
@patrick_dI have been on NC for a while but never reached 30 days.
Round 1: Ended on the 18th day (my fault)Round 2: Ended on the 15th day (After texting her happy new year because she wished me for christmas and I ignored it (felt like a jerk); she responded with an Email saying she is sorry and the reasons she think we broke up etc).
Round 3: I think this ended too but I am not sure yet. (She contacted my on an emergency that she needed her dissertation copy which I had for her interview yesterday; when we spoke I tried not to be personal and did not drive the conversation…but I did say a little bit what I am upto because she asked and in the end I do not want to be unfriendly).
She also called me again yesterday.
I have no intentions of being her friend whilst she dates this guy.
I need to figure out what do to now. If I tell her how I feel and she does not feel the same then its over for good; there is no going back.
If I wait then I am worried that she and her new bf would enter attachment stage. Also I do not know if she thinks I am still available for her or not.
I am still quite confused…I feel like I owe her an apology for not getting back in touch with her after she called me yesterday.
Could you hold out until the Magic letter time?
It sounds like a tough one, but looking from the outside you are still sort of there for her. Pity her stuff was at yours in a way. She deep down still likes you in my opinion or she wouldn’t bother texting happy Christmas.
Depending on the reasons you broke up, have you sorted your side of those Problems yet? If not, then she will just think that nothing has changed. Be you but a new you. Hold out a bit longer and use the letter then not to pour your heart out but to pull on her heartstrings.
Give it your best shot. And start Meeting other Girls even just for flirting or the jealousy will consume you.
I wish you luck. We are both in very similar situations
We did not have any major problems. But yeah all of them from my side is sorted. But she left me because she got a crush on someone else and she thinks she should not get crushes on other people.
There is some mixed signals around but I do not know how much is she willing to give us another shot.
She is dating the guy she has a crush on romantically at the moment. He is a nice guy so I do not know if she would really want to comeback. She might be able to get everything she needs from him as well.
@Martin I would say that you need to man up and take the bull by the horns a little bit (no offence). You need to be more confident. It sounds like she is contacting you because she wants to speak to you. She is using irrelevant excuses so that she doesn’t have to open up to you as she may want you to give her an more of an indication that you are still interested first.
Message her and apologise for ignoring her call. Initially just say that you were busy and arrange to meet up with her if she still says that she is still willing.
When you meet ask her lots of open questions. Try to get her to talk about how she is feeling without making it too obvious. You will then be able to sense either on the day or a few weeks down the line if contact continues after you meet up with her what she really wants.
Remember to play it cool and seek further time on your own if you feel an argument or difference of opinion that will inflame matters brewing. She might turn around and tell you that she isn’t seeing this other guy or that it isn’t serious. Believe me, if it was serious then it is likely taht you would be way out of the picture by now. You woild sense that she is totally indiffernt to you. It doesn’t seem like that is the case from what you have said as she has reached out for you several times during your different periods of NC.
You have to accept and remember that you may never be a couple again though. You have to decide whether starting from scratch again and being her friend is worth the risk. It could lead to lots more hurt or it could lead to a new relationship that is stronger than what you had before and better than anything you have evwr had.
Good luck!
But I instigated the meet up thing accidentally when I was feeling anxious on Sunday. She just followed up on it yesterday.
I read on some forums that if she is in a relationship I should wait until it all frizzes out. She wants to hear what I wanted to tell her on Sunday (I was going to tell her that I still feel for her and etc.). But then I realized that it is a wrong move.
Should I call her now and apologize saying I was busy and I could not get back to her. Ask her how she is doing and end the conversation?
I would not accept being friend zoned with her…I have decided that its either a relationship or nothing. If I am friends with her, then her new relationship will work out for sure.
I just spoke to my ex. Can now say I official know I broke NC.
Basically I felt like I needed to return the call from yesterday but I should I have kept it as it is. I complimented her as well.
Regret doing this.
NC failed 23 days.
@Martin
Why do you keep complimenting her? LolThink about it she threw you to the curb like you’re trash and you’re just sending the message that she can treat you like that no matter what.
If you’re going to be in contact you need the mindset that you’re not into her but she’s into you. Mentally imagine pushing her away while being attractive that she’s trying to get more.
Have you ever seen the show Californication? Good example of a confident, take it or leave it, guy who wants his ex back.
I did watch californication…not the last few episodes though.
Yeah I made a mistake! Urgh! I feel shit.
I was in a bit of power until today and I fucked up. Now that she got what she wanted I feel that she is gone.
the conversation was good but I feel like I lost power.
She might ring me in the evening…what should I say? I want to regain that position.
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