-
Posts
-
Dammit I just asked someone who has their Instagram private if they get a push notification when someone requests them and they said yes.
Will this make me look weak/weird now? Since they’ll be aware I requested then un-requested?
My ex isn’t on Instagram I just happened to come across one of her friends and in the moment thought it would be a good idea to follow them. But realized I’d rather have no glimpse into her life at all.
@ThePhoenix That sounds amazing about you designing a ring for her. I think your ex has no idea what she has lost, and I don’t just mean about the ring, but in general. What your friend said about someone else killing to have what your ex had is true. I am in the same boat with my ex’s friends. He has them all convinced I rode in on a broom. I don’t know about your ex, but mine surrounds himself with “yes men.” He is only friends with people who go along with what he says and constantly try really hard to get him to like them. Great bunch, let me tell ya.
@confusedbutok The person might think it was weird, but there isn’t anything you can do now. I wouldn’t worry about it and try to forget it. I’ve done something similar before, I waited until after they accepted and then a few days later unfriended, haha.
@Carmine828 I’m right there with you on the social media thing. I think it can keep you in a heightened emotional state and make NC and healing so much more difficult.My day has been…odd. I had my last meeting with my therapist. She is leaving to start a private practice, but the amount of sessions I’m allowed is also up. I like seeing her but I don’t think I can afford to pay the cost out of pocket. I’m glad I found these boards and have all of you to talk to.
@Nell
I’m worried her friend will tell my ex and they’ll conclude I was trying to spy 🙁Also my ex sees a therapist. I’m curious do they advise to drop a relationship? Wonder if she had any say in my ex’s decision.
@confusedbutok She might or might not. How close are they?
A good therapist shouldn’t outright tell you what to do or push you to act based on their opinions. They should help you realize your own feelings and wants and encourage you to proceed in a way that is right for you, albeit healthy and with boundaries and such. So, my therapist could have said that my ex was a piece of trash and to move on (like my family and friends), but that wouldn’t really help. I had to come about that on my own and through a lot of work. There was one point that even though I had told her everything horrible he did to me, that I still wanted him back and she never spoke against that. She respected what I wanted at the time. I doubt your ex’s therapist had any sort of hand in it, they just help to facilitate what the patient wants.
@Nell
They’re pretty close unfortunately 🙁Also I remember my ex after a therapist session in which I came up she’d tell me that her therapist would always say “oh you really like this one” in which my ex would agree with her.
But idk if when I pissed her off her therapist made her realize she’s better off without me.
Well,my day has been uneventful. I feel more calmed now that at least the Brownie move provided me an open door to talk to him and then text him. He responded me,a thing he had not done since the last screw up. We kept a conversation and I think he finally understood why i decided to break up. He apologized,but is still angry i can tell. I told him aboit all I have done to handle my anger issues with him:ho’oponopono meditations, sevillanas dancing lessons, finally got rid of antideprssants…he said he has noticed a big change in me. He said that he will think about us going back together,but it will be his way or the highway. I responded I will be very receptive to his offer. I did not antagonize him because I risked him closing up to me again. Now I sit and wait. I am sticking to NC Full. I still have to see him on Saturday for our gig (we have a Blues Brothers tribute band and we are opening for Steve Augeri and Kelly Keagy!!!!) But I wont mention an iota about it if he has not contacted me before that.
@Carmine828 Being patient is the hardest part. I think you are in a good place. That’s exciting about your gig! 🙂
My ex’s student loan company has been calling me non-stop. It’s driving me insane. I even talked to them and told them I had nothing to do with it and stop calling me, but they keep harassing me, telling me I need to give them money, lol, yeah. I was very tempted to contact him and tell him to pay his ****ing bills. I didn’t, so came here to complain instead. Lesson learned for the future. I’ve been learning so many lessons lately, I don’t think I can take anymore.
@confusedbutok I see. If the friend blabs, I don’t think it will be a big enough deal to hurt your chances.
That’s the bad thing about therapy, it’s one-sided. The therapist is only getting what your ex told her and none of your side. Ultimately, it was still your ex’s decision, and I think a lot of people do what they want regardless of what the therapist says.
@Nell
If anything her friend probably looked at my Instagram (since its public) and will give my ex an idea of what I’ve been up to. But it’s scattered posts, weeks apart.I guess it’d kill any mystery and wonder my ex may have been conjuring up about me.
I’m also still bummed that her match profile is gone. All that goes through my mind is she must have met someone.
@confusedbutok I was thinking along the lines of what ThePhoenix said, she may have taken it down from not having any luck, or maybe she didn’t want to pay for it and canceled. I had a few friends who tried it and eventually gave up because of harassment from pervy/rude guys. I understand where your mind is going, but I don’t think you should worry. I just can’t imagine her meeting someone and knowing immediately that they are the one and deleting the profile.
@Nell
You could be right but of course my mind automatically assumes the worst.Where I am there’s a blizzard hitting tonight into Wednesday. Makes me miss my ex as it’d be nice to have been snowed in together.
@confusedbutok 🙁 Hang in there. Stay warm, and safe!
Eyup. I spent days working on it on my computer. All the little details taken into consideration. She had said many times that she wanted to wear a certain ring I gave her, but didn’t like that it snagged on things and would get dirty. So, I had the diamonds set in on the ring I designed. I even matched the diamond colors to her dog’s coat colors. This was important to me because she had said many times that her dog would not live to be old (which is most likely the case as she had a hard beginning and has old injuries that will cripple her with age). I wanted it to serve more than one purpose and so it’d be a reminder for her long after the dog was gone.
My ex has chosen to surround herself with people that appear to be happy and want nothing more than to have fun and do stupid internet fad things. Mind you, we’re not teenagers anymore. I’m all for fun, but things like the cinnamon challenge? Cooooome ooooon. This is no different than anytime before really. But once it sets in that they don’t care about her any more than an acquaintance/classmate and don’t care about her on a deeper level… right on back. Every. Time. Biggest difference this time is I don’t want her back at this point and am not sure I do anymore in general. She’s a regular decorated emergency, always has been and probably always will be, and I’m done being her emotional tampon. This is the same song and dance as every time before, and I realized every time she came crawling back, I was the one to LET her come back. It was never a matter of her taking me back, always the other way around after she’d be the one to pull stupid crap and run off.
As my counselor has told me before, I need to learn to say no to people. I’ve been putting it into practice lately as I’m told I’m too loyal and generous for my own good. I’m sure it’ll feel amazing when my ex does slither on back only to be met with a big, firm hell no.
Hi guys, I’m new here. I want to ask for some help, because I’m really loosing it. We officially broke up 1 week ago, but I knew it’s coming somehow in my guts, so for me it’s more than 3 weeks of pure pain. I can’t sleep, I barely sleep few hours per night, I usually cry. I cry spontaneously during day, I’m in physical pain. I can’t focus on my work, it’s causing my a lot of trouble. Although I’m in NC and I don’t have her on any social network, I’m obsessed with her to the point where I google her name and I try to find something, I post regularly to different forums about what happened and I’m constantly going through everything what happened in my head. I believe she was really one of a kind and I will never ever in my life have another opportunity like this – and she said she felt the same. We are both 30+ old. I screwed it up somehow, because I was still involved with my ex (not romantically, just sorting some things out). I can’t forgive myself, I’m really beating myself I let this wonderful girl walk away from me. How should I cope with it? How can I function normally when I don’t see any point in doing anything knowing she will be not there in my life? It’s not like I need her or I can’t be happy without her – she was just the perfect, unique, extraordinary match to whatever dream I ever had about a woman.
(Details about our breakup are in my other post)
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.