-
Posts
-
I completely understand. I had the role of mother too and she resented me for it, and I hated feeling like the mother/maid.
Her business with her mom is kind of like… honestly, she’s trained. If there is something in it for my ex, she’s a tame house cat. If her mom neglects her or abuses her, she becomes resentful. Odd mother-daughter relationship, especially since my mom is a saint. It especially sucks because my mom loves my ex like another daughter and they got along so well. I just feel bad that my ex has not had unconditional love from her mother. It’s a pity…
For me,sleeping with somebody else is a killer. If I go and sleep with someone else its because what i had is gone, for me sex is the ultimate connection, i cannot have that freely with just anyone while I wait for my ex. Anyway,if it works for you guys its your choice. I would not like to be in a position where he compares me or remembers the other one or me remebering I was with someone else while apart. That would make a far worse breakup that the original. As soon as i detect anyone around,I flee.
@Martin That sucks, but you have to do your best not to think about it or dwell on it. Just like confusedbutok said, you have to think you are the best she’s ever had and she can’t do better.
@ThePhoenix It’s just awful isn’t it? I told my ex on numerous occasions that I wanted to feel like his wife, not his mommy. I know the feeling of being the maid too. Screw that. I’m never doing that again. It’s unfortunate that your ex has that dynamic with her mother. Hopefully, for her sake she realizes how unhealthy it is and tries to do something about it one day. I went through a lot with one of my parents and had to walk away. I didn’t speak to them for over 10 years. We keep in touch a bit now, but I wouldn’t say we have a relationship by any means. Some people never change and you have to realize how they affect you, even if it is a parent.Hey guys love hearing about your stories wanted to share mine.
So basically me and my ex dated for 3 years and today we got in a huge argument over stupid stuff and it led to her saying how she’s never going to get back with me and for me to give up etc. She is jealous because she thinks I’m talking to girls on twitter and thinks I’m lying. In our past my problem was lying and immaturity but Ive been making huge improvements to become a better man and I’m finally ready after 3 long years to start NC for the first time ever. We also have a 2 year old daughter so here and there I’m going to have to see her when I pick my daughter up from her place. I really love this girl and I want her to see me as a new man and not the same guy who lied and was immature (Ive grown up alot since then). Any advice on how to deal with NC would be great tomorrow will be my first day
I’m having trouble focusing today. Makes three weeks of NC. As the science states 3 weeks is peak of loneliness but shouldn’t my ex be feeling it not me? Lol
My worries are that she won’t get in touch even if she wants to. But I’ve spoken to several women who say that women always reach out if they miss you enough and they’ll do it in an covert way, ie asking a random question.
If I’d at least hear from my ex I’d feel better. My worries are she’s just completely over me already and isn’t looking back.
@teamjordan12 How long have you and your ex been broken up?
Here is my advice for dealing with NC: social media is not your friend, don’t stalk her or check in on her. Deactivate your accounts if you don’t have the willpower. Next, stay busy and work on improving yourself. Exercise, eat healthy if you are not already. It’s also a good time to look for a better job or go back to school. Anytime you want to contact your ex do something else. Spend time out with friends or family, but don’t talk about your ex or the relationship the whole time. If you have mutual friends or family that would speak to her, don’t tell them anything you wouldn’t want her to know. Don’t mention NC to them, you don’t want it to get back to her.
Since you have to see her when picking up your daughter, be cool, calm, and confident. Be friendly and polite, but keep the conversations short and only about your daughter. If you are struggling come here. If you feel like you want to message her come here. If you are going to do something stupid, come here, haha.
@confusedbutok Hang in there pal. Any plans for today that could help take your mind off? I can’t remember if you said, but is your ex the stubborn type?@Nell
She can be stubborn but also likes to prove to herself she can make a decision and stick to it even if it’s the wrong one.We have been broken up since October 2014 but have been on and off but NC is my only choice because staying friends with her always leads to arguments. The only way I will have her back is if she see’s me as a new man(not a liar). I’m not doing NC just because I want her back, but I want to start living my life without always thinking about her or being happy while knowing that we may never get back together.
Today is first day with NC but like you said convo’s will only be about my daughter and I will start working on myself and living out my dreams. I’ve learned alot about life and I know there is a bigger world out there than this one relationship. I will keep coming back on here to see other stories and to update mine from time to time
Once again thanks for the support
Struggling. I woke up this morning and all I could think about was him. Did chores – i even installed new lighting and a new sprinkler head by myself. Now that I’m done im missing him more because I couldn’t have done all those things if he hadn’t taught me. I want to call him and tell him how great he is for having the patience and understanding to teach me those things.
My ex is the same.
I have been doing something quite foolish.
I spoke to my ex yesterday – She wanted to call…she tried hard to get in touch with me.
Today I rang her to get some information to find her dissertation though I didnt need to.
None of the conversations lasted more than 5mins.
I asked her if i could meet her today to discuss a few things, she politely said not today as she is preparing for a presentation tomorrow…I said its a good idea and said that is a good call.
HEELPPP!!
Well we are here rehearsing. At firsts he did not look at me. After a while i have him a brownie i brought as he was struggling to get something to eat from the vending machine. He asked me joking if it jad any poison,and i replied smiling i forgot to put any,and squeezed his hand. He has been polite after that and has even spoken to me,gig related. Rush,i need next step like now!!!!@Martin
What do you plan on discussing? I advise it’s nothing about your past relationship with her. This won’t be good especially if she seems busy with school/work. She won’t want to hear it and might push you away even more.At this point if you’re going to be in touch again, you need to treat her like a new prospect. No heavy conversations unless she brings them up.
@Carmine828
Just relax. There’s nothing you can do or say to change the outcome. Play it cool and casual.No I planned on waiting till the end of her school work. I just want to put the thought that we will talk about something important out there but I am still not sure if I should.
A friend of mine drafted this email and suggested that I send it to her on wednesday:
How are you? I hope you are doing well. It’s been 3 months since we separated. I am sure you have moved on by now and are feeling much better. I can’t say the same thing about myself but I am better than I was when you told me 3 months ago. I believe, we have reached a point where there is no return. Soon we both will move on with our lives and might become strangers. We both shared very valuable moments together that I cherish a lot. So before we become total strangers, I wanted to ask you what you feel about us now. What do you think our dynamics should be? Should we stop talking completely? I want to make sure we finish well, not in a nasty way. I owe you that but nothing else.
———————————————————————
A mutual friend of ours suggested that I speak to her over the phone and tell her how I feel…I was thinking of meeting her over dinner and doing this. But this seems to be a one way trip as I will never be able to comeback again. In a way I would get a clear stance of the situation. My goal is to somehow win her back though.
—————————————————————-
@Martin
Both of those are bad ideas. You can’t treat this like a movie. It doesn’t work that way.The only way if you’re planning on keeping contact is to treat her like a new girl. Flirt be casual calm and confident.
Do not remind her of the break up and give ultimatums no matter how subtle.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.