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I’m not sure what to do about that. My ex has been using one of my old gaming accounts still and I thought about taking it back. But it really makes you the bigger person not to do that and it honestly, I think, shows you aren’t thinking about her/don’t care. I also don’t need hostility coming my way as she bought maybe 3/30+ games on the account and I’m sure would throw a tissy. I’m also in a position where I can afford to be somewhat generous in that department as I have more and actually have stability. Now if it was something that was solely yours, like a Netflix account that YOU pay for (ex had tried to use mine the other day, hah), that’s one thing.
Also, I would not do things to purposefully try to make your ex jealous. Typically a negative action only brings about a negative reaction and that would only lead to more hurt. Now if you’re doing your thing, happen to be out having a good time with a female friend and post a picture because you’re having fun and perhaps the friend wants to have it on their social media wall, that’s fine. But I’m the type that does not want to play games. I know I’m better than that and won’t sink to my ex’s level and let her get a rise out of me. By doing that, I lose the power I’ve gained.
I agree with ThePhoenix
My ex kept using my Netflix for a while after the break up. When we last spoke in person she had it on and I pretended I forgot about it by saying “I forgot I had Netflix lol” and she said “I didn’t lol”
I liked using it to monitor the viewing activity because it helped me know what she was doing for several nights but I knew ultimately this wasn’t healthy. So after I got my stuff from her house I waited a week and then changed the pw so it didn’t appear to be a bitter move, but more of a oh yeah I have Netflix let me delete my account type of thing.
@ThePhoenix and @confusedbutok
Yeah, that is what I thought to do to. Besides she is only using it because she has to…she is applying for a PhD and probably needs some documents urgently. I also told her when she broke up that she can still use my dropbox account.
About getting back with her. I feel that moving on is easy and I can do it…would hurt a bit but I can get there. My goal is to try and get back at all costs. NC is helpful but I need to start planning my next move now. She is with someone at the moment so I will wait till my NC is completed and monitor the situation. Even if she wants to get back she will not break up with that guy if she knows that I am dating someone.
Any suggestions?
Social media: For any changes to my profile picture, cover photo and status update, she will receive a notification. (she had this on since we were dating.)
Just KNOW you’re the better man. If you do initiate contact again you need this mindset 100% and it’ll leak through with your interactions.
You have to feel and believe it instead of thinking of the best responses etc. Dont be arrogant though just have a confident indifference about you. Just be the man she fell in love with not who you became when she left.
This is why it’s recommended you talk and go on dates with other women even if it’s just a momentary thing. It’ll get you in touch with your masculinity and sharpen your confidence.
So I just got a FB message from my ex. I have not responded and it will not show that I’ve seen it as it was short enough I could read it from display of my phone. Essentially my ex said hey, hoped I was doing as well as I looked like I was on fb (clearly she’s been checking). She wants to come by and “get the rest of her things out of my way” when she’s in town tomorrow. She wants to know if it’d be okay, if I was busy. How long should I wait to respond? Her stuff isn’t here as I took care of that after she moved out, so I’m sure that will probably be a clear message for her. Her message itself was surprisingly not hostile, despite her behavior of such recently, so there’s that.
I’m on my 14th day of NC and it’s been 43 days since the break. She only spoke to me once to see if I was okay when I had been in the hospital. I don’t see any harm in letting her know she can get her stuff whenever she feels like it from my parents place, along with her stuff that has been sitting there for years. Thoughts?
If she does still have some things just be calm, cool, and indifferent. Let her come for them and don’t mention anything about the break up. Make small talk and let her lead the conversations.
Just be cheerful and brief. Pretend she’s someone who’s into you but you’re not that sure about her. Deep down it’ll send a message that you’re ok with the break up and no hard feelings.
I guess you can tell her that you are busy tomorrow but you will leave her stuff at your parents to collect whenever she wants.
“Hey, hope are you doing well. I am a bit busy tomorrow unfortunately but I will move your things to my parents for you to collect it whenever you can.”
On Wednesday 14th Jan, I accidentally sent a thumbs up thing to my ex and she responded back immediately saying hey. I immediately then archived the message to avoid this from happening anymore. Yesterday I opened the message to clear the notification. Since I came so far with NC i do not want to break it anymore.
@confusedbutok
I agree, I have been preparing my mind lately to be assertive and strong. The last time we spoke I made a mistake of complimenting her. The next time it won’t happen.I do not want to be a jerk to her and at the same time I do not want to give her too much comfort.
I can’t believe that I am hooked.
I feel that this relationship deserves a fight and I am ready to do it.
Nothing wrong with complimenting her. Your goal isn’t to be a jerk but rather a mature confident man who’s accepted the break up and doesn’t need her.
Unless your compliment came from a place of “take me back” then I’d say no no
Alright, how would this sound:
“Hey <ex>! I have been doing fantastic and hope you have been doing well too. ^^ I’m actually busy tomorrow and your things aren’t here anymore. You’ll have to get with my parents so they can unlock the garage/pull down the attic stairs for you. It made more sense to have all your things in one spot since you have a lot of things to get from their place from over the years, so you can collect them when you can. ”
Too much?
Hi there,
My ex broke up with me two weeks ago. I struggled with NC, but finally initiated it on Tuesday. I had deleted her on Facebook, but want to add her again for the sake of having her see everything I’m doing. I want her to at least get the impression I’m doing well. I want her to be checking my page.
I started NC on Tuesday. Can I still send her a request? Perhaps with a short text saying “thought it would be best to delete you for a bit, but it’d be nice to stay in the loop”. Idk, something like that.
I like that I’d just change the first part about how you’re doing. It seems a bit exaggerated like you’re trying to make a point. Other than that it’s good
@prieto
You could send a request with a little message saying “accidentally deleted you” but idk it’s tricky either way it looks like you were hurt and want to keep tabs on herI agree with confusedbutok, try and be as subtle as possible. Being in your face will be to much. But yeah otherwise good job!
@confusedbutok
I complimented her smile the last time we spoke. Told her that she has a pretty smile should always smile.
@prieto123
Adding her back and texting her will be breaking no contact. But since your breakup is hot you can afford to do it but the sooner you stick with your NC, the more likely you will be able to get back with your ex. If you feel like doing something stupid, comeback on this forum and post it here…most of us has been on this for a very long time so we can advice you based on our experiences.Thanks for the input gang. I removed any bit of me doing well and just wished her well, told her where her stuff was and to get in touch with my family. I realized it came across kind of like a pissing contest, and that’s not me. I am a very honest and straightforward person, but I did realize it was a bit too much.
I actually ran into her step-dad after lunch today and had a polite but brief conversation with him. Did not mention ex at all and he said he’s really enjoyed seeing my fb posts. As luck would have it, my ex’s sister was behind me when I was driving home. Day of encounters to say the least, but a good day nonetheless.
Great video @confusedbutok ! Walking and never looking back has worked for me before, so I’m sure it will again so long as I keep focus on myself and work to grow and mature more.
Could you give us some insight to your previous walking and never looking back and how it made your ex come back?
How long it took, if you begged and pleaded before walking away etc
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