No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

@ThePhoenix I have had sleep troubles for at least a year now, although these have become slightly better recently. I have had a problem with spots on my left shoulder and a recurring mouth ulcer which blows up to a massive size each time that I am feeling stressed (both problems that I have never previously suffered from). I am also a Type 1 diabetic and have had numerous hypos (low blood sugar fits) over the last 12 months which I also put down to the stress that I have been under.

@Martin I have already purchased Relationship Rewind and found some of the things in there helpful. I agree with much of what this Lizard Brain bloke has to say, especially that going NC for ages and ages is unlikely to win anyones Ex back. I am tempted to see more of what he has to say as I am two months in to a second period of false friendship. I understand (for legitimate reasons that I would rather not talk about) that my Ex will not look at stepping up any attempt to make progress in getting back with me until March at the earliest. I do still get some mixed signals from her.

I think that I upaet her a little a few days ago and so went LC because I have been busy over the weekend. She messaged me last night in a reaching out kind of way when I was in bed after midnight. When I messaged back she told me something like “of course I still care… obviously more than you know.”

I know we are still close and that she has said that she wants to see me later this year – promising signs yes but they’re still just words and it remains to be seen what may or may not happen.

Thanks to everyone that responded about my flowers idea.

I think I realized I’d be doing it from a place of “hey things didn’t work out but no hard feelings you are a special person and I should have shown more appreciation”

Maybe I’ll rewrite my note so it reflects that message without outright saying it. Idk I actually feel bad for my ex she truly just wanted to feel loved in everyway and I think I lacked in providing that.

@Martin

It’s hard to say. Also considering you’re both in your early 20s I’m almost certain she’s just seeing what else is out there.

You just have to let her get the experience and you need to as well. I went through a similar thing for a girl I was with for 4 years. She went off to college and we broke up. I was devastated and always thought she was the “one”

Guess what, I knew years later she wasn’t and I couldn’t see her anymore than a friend after we started hanging out and she had went through two relationships after me. I was glad we broke up because if not we might have still been together out of comfort but lacking passion.

Trust me it could mean a good thing. Just try not to focus on what was (as hard as it is)

Always a blessing in disguise. Either the break up let’s you realize you want better and find it or maybe it means you two will just have a stronger bond if there ever is a reconciliation.

@martin

I forgot to say maybe 50/50 I get back with my ex or maybe better chance due to his family being on my side and wanting to meet up with me and that my ex is probably in a rebound relationship.
For others I guess it depends on everyone’s individual situation and how we deal with it. If we stick to the plan it gives us it may help us a lot more and I believe us working on ourself and being a lot more confident, happy, outgoing and starting new things in our life is the best way to go. It will intrigue our ex’s.
I am moving country (which is home country where we had planned to go) I am going to be busy sight seeing, meeting people, making new friends and being very active socially so I think that will help me a lot to show him I am happy with out him and I am like the girl he first met who organised a great social life for me and all my friends when I lived in the same country as him before.
Things like this can help a lot I think.

Good luck to everyone and if you get back together let us know.

@confusedbutok

You’re so right.

Live life, have fun and get on with things. Hopefully things will work out in our favour if not we will be stronger and they will need us not the other way around.

@Martin

I feel for you man. But I’m guessing you’re spending too much time thinking about the past.

I want you to try this, start daydreaming about hooking up with other women. Just get in touch with that primitive side. Watch porn if it’ll help ignite it lol. But just get your mind wanting other beautiful women for now, I promise it’ll help. Don’t let your emotions make you feel like you need a strong bond/relationship.

Also try imagining making tons of money and how you’d spend it. The point is to just thing of extremes that can help outweigh the void you’re experiencing.

The toughest part about break ups is knowing its out of your control. But you are still in control of your life.

It’s daytime where I am. Not sure where you are? I’m in the USA

Have you tried talking to other girls? Even just light flirting will help you feel better. It’ll boost your confidence.

Remember, even if your ex called today and said she wanted you back you’d be coming from a place of insecurity. Build your inner self up before trying to reconcile while you make first contact or her.

This will also show to her that you’re ok with everything.

@Don

Why not get her back then?

Also I just read it takes 30 days to develop a new habit. Could this be the reason for NC time frame?

Of course this makes me think well by 30 days the ex’s new habit is not having me in her life lol