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Ok here’s what the note would say with the flowers if I do decide to send after 30 days.
“(Name of artist we both liked) was on the radio and it made me think about our mini dance parties we’d have in your car. So now you get these beautiful (her favorite flowers) as a thank you for providing me with one of many fun memories that I can think about anytime I want to smile. You truly are an amazing woman and I am so happy that we had the opportunity to share those memories.
Make sure (her dog’s name) gets a flower and tell him he’ll always be my special boy 🙂From your favorite person, an hour away.”
I worded it so it kind of sounds like a no hard feelings it was fun and nice knowing you thing
Woo, that was rough. About 15 minutes ago my ex was listening to music on spotify, something she said she wasn’t going to use anymore. She didn’t want to see what I was listening to, as I think she thought it would all be sad songs. Not the case, all happy and upbeat. Surprise, surprise, she is using it again… and I’m fairly certain it’s because she wants me to see what she’s listening to. Odd combination of songs that are about determination and such, and then sad love songs.
Am I wrong in thinking this is a tactic to try to get me to talk to her? I immediately exited out of spotify after a brief anxiety attack of seeing all of that. Rational mind kicked in thankfully. I miscounted my days I think earlier, it’s been 12 days of NC and I’m wondering if it’s setting in with her yet that I’m not going to reach out again…
Ok here’s what the note would say with the flowers if I do decide to send after 30 days.
“(Name of artist we both liked) was on the radio and it made me think about our mini dance parties we’d have in your car. So now you get these beautiful (her favorite flowers) as a thank you for providing me with one of many fun memories that I can think about anytime I want to smile. You truly are an amazing woman and I am so happy that we had the opportunity to share those memories.
Make sure (her dog’s name) gets a flower and tell him he’ll always be my special boy 🙂From your favorite person, an hour away.”
I worded it so it kind of sounds like a no hard feelings it was fun and nice knowing you thing
@archola I think you have a healthy way of thinking in that you don’t want to easily let your ex come back. If you did, it tells her that she can treat you like dirt and you will allow it. If she does come back, she shouldn’t get to easily. Since you are having those feelings and you are aware, if she does come back, I think you will be prepared to stand up for yourself. Nothing new with me, just living the dream (hah). I’m on NC day 39, and it’s been 30 days since my ex last contacted me. I’m still trying to decide if I want to do NC indefinitely, or go 60 days NC and then try to talk about some stuff before moving on.
@Sparky I can see why that would make you feel bad. I’d feel the same way. You definitely don’t want to be doing all the work and all the chasing. She needs to show some interest. I’d agree that maybe a little no contact or limited contact might help.
@ThePhoenix I don’t know if the spotify thing was your ex trying to get you to talk to her necessarily, but I will say I definitely think she wanted you to see it and she wanted you to have a reaction to it. Don’t let it ruin your NC. I think you did great closing it out and removing yourself from that situation. Keep it up!
@confusedbutok I thought on your idea of sending flowers. My personal opinion is that it’s a bad idea. That being said, I don’t think there is any right way of trying to reconnect with an ex. I think the flower plan is 50/50, but so is sending a text or a letter. It could either melt her heart, or completely turn her off. I think anything you do has a chance of failing. I think as long as you know that going in and you don’t have your hopes or expectations too high, then you should do what you feel is best and what’s right for you. I also think life is too short to always play it safe and we don’t want to have any regrets. So, do the flower plan as long as you feel it’s best and you are mentally and emotionally prepared for whichever outcome. I also commend you for thinking outside the box a little and not doing the letter/text thing just because that’s what we are told to do.I am not sure about the flower idea. I think its a bit romantic like what a boyfriend would do. I know the gesture is meant well but might back fire. Maybe just the letter or text is better. Thats my opinion.
Hey everyone,
I am wasting a lot of energy and time thinking about my ex but I can’t get her out of my mind.
What scares me the most is that most of her is gone from my mind; like I can’t remember how she sounds like etc. I would assume the same would be happening to her too.
Things are rather complicated though as she is dating someone from her course after we broke up (they have been on 5 official dates so far, but have been casually seeing other for about 2 months). I don’t think she will be able to break up with him easily as she might get attached to him. Also since they are the same course I feel that it is all just difficult.
I would like to win her back and would do anything for it.
NC day 16 – Round 3
I am changing my appearance rather drastically: P
Hey, can anybody share these utube video links with me please. Also do the help you to feel any better? Thank you.
What youtube clips are you referring to?
I know its hard when your ex is dating someone else, my ex got with someone the day he broke up with me. Its so painful. But you have to focus on YOURSELF remember the NC is about us working on our self.
You need to be happy and confident without her.
Go out with friends and stay busy, go holiday, go on dates, laugh.
You were happy before her and can be happy again until you hopefully get her back.
Focus on you. She will be more likely to want you back if you are happy and not needing her in your life.Didn’t see your message there.
I am working on myself, planning holidays and etc.
I am happy without her but it was a different sort of happiness I shared with her. I miss her a lot and I would like us to get back together. I hope we do.
She is enjoying her time with her new bf and I am afraid that they might work out. I was not perfect but I gave her everything as much as I could.
@Martin I understand where you’re coming from. I’m happy on my own, but there’s that different happiness shared with someone special.
It’s another early morning for me, woke up at 6. I’ve got a question: has anyone had stomach problems after their breakup? I started to have problems the month before the breakup, feeling like there was a pit of fire in my belly at times when I woke up. After the breakup, it REALLY got worse. The entire month of December and into this month I wake up earlier than I used to with stomach pain. At times there would be nausea and dry heaving. I went to the doctor about it and she gave me antacids, but they did little good when I could keep them down. I went back again last week and they gave me something for the nausea, which works well. Unfortunately this morning I ended up actually getting sick.
I’m sure it’s stress related, but the thing is more often than not I don’t have the anxiety I did when I was with my ex. Whole stomach issue has become an undesired habitual thing and I’m tired of it.
So, anyone else have any physical issues after the split?
There are a few of those guides out there and although I was sceptical at first, they do include a lot of usefull information as i did purchase this one which is very similar: http://www.exfactorguide.com/buy/index303.php
Also, after 2 weeks i emailed to ask for my money back with no reason and within 3 days they refunded my money but I got to keep the guide, so its worth doing 🙂
Also, as a lot of people have mentioned, try to stay positive and keep your head upI understand. Its the worst thing we have to go through.
I have good and bad days. And think about how happy we were but then we had to do 6 months lomg distance not seeing each other at all during that time and we had planned to move together to settle in his home country and everyone envied our relationship. We had it so good and since we got together we knew we wanted to be together and would have to live apart for 6 months due to visas and having to return to my home country.I think we just need to try and not think about them and just put all our energy into our own life.
Good luck and stay busy. Start a new hobbie or something.@hayz @Tommys83 and @ThePhoenix
Thanks guys for your support and advice.
Yeah at the beginning on the breakup I kept feeling a bit unwell, lost appetite and etc.
Is it a good thing for me if my ex sees her new boyfriend everyday? or does it mean that they would work out?
Both of them do not have that many friends in their new college and they only basically hangout with each other.
I have also purchased the Breaking Brad stuff last month but I think they are quite generic. My ex is with someone else so I do not if his advice would work out.
I read somewhere, that I have to be in NC until she ends the relationship. Otherwise just move on.
I fear the worst would happen; it always does.
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