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@Nell yeah, that’s what I think too. She told me she would tell him when she feels ready…lol. She is one of the most jealous persons I know off and I know for a fact that if someone did the same to her, she would dump that person right away. At least for me, if I found out later that my partner cheated on me…I think that was a dealbreaker and a reason to end. Don’t know. I’m going to start studying tomorrow, somehow. I’m still trying to deal with this in a hard way… Do you have any idea of why she still has stuff from us on her fb? Like pictures I took of her in my house, a picture with some flowers I gave her, some nice comments on them…and I don’t even know how her actual bf doesn’t care about anything of that. If it was me, she would go a bit crazy about it.
I’m sorry, i know I’m overthinking all this. Probably she’s gone for real, will never realise anything and might be happier like that. I feel kinda lost, to be honest.
@archola When she feels ready? Yeah, okay, haha. My ex had stuff from us up on his fb weeks after we broke up, even still had his status set as married. I don’t really know for sure, but my thought on it is that they don’t realize exactly what they have done. It’s like they haven’t dealt with the reality yet, it hasn’t set in. Which, is also what makes me think your ex is in rebound. I was thinking the same thing, not sure how this other guy doesn’t care, but who knows what his deal is, how mature, etc. My thought as a female on the matter is that maybe he isn’t that serious about the relationship.
Well, if she never realizes anything, that is a major disservice to herself. She’ll never really be able to grow, change, heal, or learn from her mistakes. You’ll be ahead of the game because you will have already been dealing with it and working on yourself and your healing. Feeling lost is completely normal and you might feel like that for a while. For me the first two weeks I really felt lost, then I just…didn’t. It will go away and one day you just won’t feel like that anymore, and it’ll be weird, but you’ll feel better and more solid.
Your plan seems like a bit of a gamble. It could either go really well as she would return to being fond of you or she might think you are just desperate to get back. I’d say try and find out how she is feeling like from a friend or analyse her social media post before making that move. You don’t really want to send a bouquet of flowers if she is secretly seeing someone else.
Hey Everyone,
NC day 15 – I am feeling weak again.
I am nervous and scared if her new relationship would work out.
Hey…
I have started NC just few days ago…. It’s really painful process. Sometimes i miss her a lot and feel like talking to her… I know that would be wrong.. I’m missing her… Where it’s seems nothing to her, It feels like i would disappear and she wouldn’t even notice.. She’s happy with life and got many frnds…and may be she will get some compatible one for herself… 🙁
@Nell Yeah, they definitely do not match up at all. Not the first time either. You can check out “Strange one, feedback greatly appreciated” thread if interested for more info. I’m in a different situation here than most I think because it’s not a typical guy/girl relationship. :\
@Martin Congrats on making it to day 15! Remember to try and stay positive. I think with most of us, if our Exs had any type of real bond, we are not so easy to get over. Sometimes people use crutches, some of us prefer to heal first and then work back to where we need to be on our own.
@crescendoanu It can be tough, but hang in there! I’m on day 9 after starting NC again. I found, this being the second NC period, that it gets easier. This is especially true when you take power back and focus on yourself. You should try to focus on yourself and be happy with your life too! The way I see it, we are desirable people and our exs just need time to realize this again. They did at one point after all, but emotions are still on high for them most likely. All good things in time.I’m not connected to her in anyway by friends or social media so have no insight to her whatsoever.
I’m curious, do you think our negative thinking is bringing our fears into fruition?
Should we just believe our exes will return to us?
I think having negative thinking is normal and good in a way as it gives us grief and we grow much quicker with grief than with anything else. It would also help us move on.
Being positive and believing that our ex’s would return to us would only cause more heart break later on.
How old is your ex? It depends on her personality and you know her the best.
I am on Round 3 of NC. I broke my NC 2 times previously since the end of my relationship which was at October.
Round 1 – Ended after 18 days. (FAILED)
Round 2 – Ended after 15 days. (FAILED)
Round 3 – 15 days still continuing.Hopefully I get up to 30days with ease and after that I aim for indefinitely until she contacts me; which I fear may never happen even though we have had a amazing relationship for four years.
I think negative thinking is not good and we need to think positive thoughts. Also I read somewhere on a link someone posted that we need to not hope about things because the ‘universe’ or law of attraction will do the opposite.
I think it is really best we focus on our own lives as hard as that can be. Especially if they have cheated on us and gone of with another person like my ex has done.
Maybe its best to not think about the future and if our ex will come back to us. To not wonder or hope. I know this is the hardest thing. I struggle with my thoughts and all the possible outcomes. But I am lucky as I am moving to South America to live in the city and country my ex is from because that is the plan we had together and just because we broke up doesn’t mean I will change my plan.
I move in 11 days and I know he has returned home after studying abroad where I met him and it hurts that he took his new gf with him there too. He has basically replaced me with her and everyone thinks she is jealous of me and trying to be me and look like me.Just try and focus on yourself, stay busy, work out, go out, start a new hobbie, sport or join a club or something, read and watch a new tv show and movies to distract yourself.
I don’t know of I want my ex back or not, I change my mind because I am hurt at what he has done to me when he was such an amazing guy and this is very unlike him. All our mutual friends are disgusted by his behaviour.
But sometimes I think he is in a rebound relationship because of signs that say it could very well be one, but I don’t know if he is brave enough to dump her and be alone again and deal with all the shit he has caused to me and hurting/disappointing so many people. Maybe he will try to continue it to make it seem like its all been worth it and not look like a fool for just having a temporary fling.Oh aren’t breaks ups just terrible especially when a 3rd person is involved
Stay strong everyone and keep up the NC, I am on day 51 of NC. You can do it, just don’t get tempted for anything. Think about the end result.
@Martin Sounds like you’ve had quite the endeavor. I applaud you for sticking to your guns with NC and reapplying it. I’m kind of in the same boat as you. I doubt my ex will try to reach out too, despite 5 years of intimacy. I think for my ex it’s a matter of pride. Any time we took a break or broke up, she was the one usually to initiate it and then would come running back in time because the grass was not greener like she thought it would be. Having done this so many times, she’s got to be consistent with such a bold move that’s she made now as there’s more at stake this time around and more pressure from her family/friends.
Here’s to us all keeping on the right track and not getting derailed! Cheers!
My ex is 32. I’m having a super hard time today.
This might be one of my worst breakups because I feel I caused it. If I’d only shown her I cared more.
Makes me think she’ll find someone who’ll do just that but won’t be a good match for her otherwise like I was and she’ll be ok with it.
@ThePheonix
It is so strange that most of our situations are very similar. She broke up with me twice before and she reinstated our relationship again. This time she is dating someone and he seems like a nice guy. He also seems like he knows what he is doing and playing it really well. I am scared that this time she may never come back to me. We spent 4 year doing everything together and now it seems like its all slowly fading away.
I cant come up with any plan to get her back anymore.
Like I said before, what you have planned seems like a gamble. Depending on how the break up happened and if she is currently interested on someone else would vary your chances. But your idea seems good to be since it would make her feel that you really appreciate her.
Also because of her age, Science would say it is quite likely you two may get back together.
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