No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

After being a happy 4 year relationship, being dumped for someone else is a terrible feeling.

@confusedbutok I love Corey’s videos! They are mostly geared towards men, but I have found them very helpful too. I especially love the videos about being confident and secure, finding your purpose, etc. I’ve been watching him all throughout NC and I don’t think I could have made it through without him. His videos are very empowering especially when he says to walk away.

@Martin 🙁 That is terrible. I really hope things get better for you soon.

Nothing new on my end. It’s been three weeks since my ex last reached out. It’s weird though, I don’t want him to reach out and it would make me angry if he did, but at the same time I kind of want him to. It’s like I want to know he’s thinking about me, which is stupid, because I want to move on. Maybe I need a rebound, haha. 😉

@Nell

I’m on day 11 since last contact which I was on her area and texted to see if she was busy because I was near by.

She replied saying she has dinner plans. So I said that’s fine figured I’d see what’s up since I’m near by and to keep in touch. She replied “that’s cool”

Hey,

My ex is trying to taking her new bf to places we visited together when we were a couple. It is like she is trying to replace our memories there…is there a reason for this?

I can’t figure it out. I don’t think she should be angry still.

@martin I know it hurts and sucks.
My ex kissed a girl then broke up with me and that was 7 weeks ago and he was supposed to fly to me and stay with me over Christmas then we were going to have a little short holiday to France or Northern Ireland and then fly to live in his home country but instead he flew to his new girlfriends home country to spend the holidays with her then they went on a little holiday together then him and her left yesterday flying to his home country on the date I had suggested. Feels like she has stolen my life and everything I have planned with him.
I just hope its a rebound relationship and it ends soon.
I had already got my visa to move there and work so I am still going but worry because we will probably be in the same city and I was hoping she wouldn’t go with him because I heard she had no money and she can’t speak spanish so dont know how she could get a job there.
Such trying times testing us hey?!!!
I am trying to mediate and stay calm, not think about it. But worried if there relationship continues and the chance of bumping into them.

@Tommys83 @confusedbutok and everyone else.

I got this email from Kevin, think you guys might find it helpful if you have not signed up for his emails.

Alright, there is a good chance that your ex will
call you or contact you during the no contact period.

She might even ask to hang out with you.

If she doesn’t, don’t fret it. This isn’t a game of
who asks who out. Only the end results matter.

So, if she hasn’t contacted you even after the
no-contact period is over, you should call her and
ask her out.

Here are a few tips when you ask her out.

– Make sure you call at a time when you know she
won’t be busy.

– Do not bring anything about the breakup or your
relationship in the conversation. (If you do, she
might put her defenses back up)

– Be upbeat and happy when calling. It’s a good idea
to call her when you are feeling happy. If you feel
unhappy, down, or sad for some reason, you can postpone
the call until tomorrow.

For me, I always feel upbeat after hitting the gym.
So if I have to make an important call like this, I
will make sure I do it after I hit the gym.

Is there something you do that always makes you feel
upbeat? Well, do it before calling your ex. Women are
very good at recognizing your tone. So if you are feeling
depressed while calling her, she will recognize it
and will think it’s about the breakup.

Similarly, if you are feeling upbeat while talking
to her, she will recognize it and she will become curious
thinking that you have already moved on.

Now, when you ask her out, DON’T call it a date.
Just ask her out as friends. You are not looking
to get back together (not as far as she knows :P).

You just want to…catch up.

Don’t make it sound like you want her back. You just
want to hang out with her as friends.

You can ask her out for anything. But try to make
it something she will be comfortable with and something
that she finds non-threatening.

Like a cup of coffee. a beer, or shopping. Something
which does not make it necessary for both of you to be
in each others company for a long time.

This way, she will most probably say yes because she
knows that if she feels uncomfortable, she can just leave
easily.

And it is also advantageous for you because if the date
is not going smooth you can end it quickly and get out
of there leaving a positive feeling in her mind.
You can leave before it goes from good to bad. (You have
to sense it beforehand though.)

If you followed the plan till now, and have been concentrating
on yourself instead of your ex. Then there is a good
chance that this date will go swell.

In the next few emails, we will talk more about this.

Until then,
-Kevin “Just Catching Up” Thompson

You can check my whole story in my thread (check my previous posts). 5 days on NC right now and I’m struggling.

I found a way of kinda dealing with this. I created a word document and everytime I feel like talking to her, I write it there. it’s going almost over 6 pages already. It’s a way that i can let things get out of my chest and just try to feel better. One really disturbing thing is that they are sleeping together already…im not sure and i thought this before meeting her and they werent but now everything points to that. Dont know.

Thank you guys for the tips!

Yeah, I’m trying to deal with it. But i can’t help and check her fb to see if she adds pictures or to see if she still has some comments of us in her pictures or to see whatever, you know? On her instagram profile she put their both name initials with a + in between and says taken and stuff like that and all of this makes me sad.
I really love her, I still do and if you read my story, we were engaged when we broke up and sicne then shes been with this guy and everything seems to be going to well. But I dont know, after everything she said to me (you can read on my topic).

Anw, trying to deal with the NC. I wish she would miss me and realise that with me it was nicer or soemthing, despite the distance.