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@SodiumC I’m on a NC day 19 (I had to break previous NC at day 33) and also didn’t send my ex Xmas or NY greetings (and didn’t get any). Now am approaching her Birthday and also have been wondering if I should ignore it or send some short neutral wishes – just to be above that all (I was struggling not to send anything for Xmas not because I wanted to make contact but I just think that if two adult people were partners for years it is just the way to do it. I just waited for her to send it first but she has disappointed me totally..).
@Nell it seems you didn’t even get the simplest holiday greetings also. And you’ve been in a 9 years relationship
Well I’ve been with my partner for 13 years (my story here: ebpforums.com/boards/topic/dumped-after-13-y-realationship/#post-20841) and also nothing during xmas and NY. And my situation is particularly hard for me cause I’ve spent it all alone in a foreign country (she knows). I didn’t send anything either cause was curious if she does first. And now I just wonder what is wrong with the person?. And it is not just me – my friends back home and my parents say the same.
I mean you’ve been together with the person for years – and now you don’t even get a simplest greetings that she probably sends to many other people. How sick is that? And after all I am the one that has been hurt and dumped. I loved her and missed her much but this situation gives me some stuff to think over.
Maybe all this / and the person is not worth it..
I guess NC starts to work – for me…@Kiwi @Sodium and @Nell My heart goes out to you all.
I agree with what you are saying though @Kiwi Perhaps if you have tried to talk things through with your Ex and have felt that you were unable to so you went NC and they haven’t tried to reach out to you at all then it at least allows you to try and move on.
I have been getting on very well in 2nd period of of false friendship. My Ex reached out to me previously in two NC periods. Things appear to be going well and she has talked about meeting later this year and even about sharing cuddles with me. I am still trying to expect nothing though and just be her and her daughters friend unless she shows that she wants more sometime down the road.
Best of luck to you guys with whatever you decide to do with yourselves.
I almost lost it today.
Went on a date with a new girl (2nd new girl I’ve hung out with since the break up) and it didn’t help it just made me miss and crave my ex. It felt like I lost all progress.
It’s terrible, maybe I shouldn’t try dating just yet. What gets me is my ex said she’s seeing other people and it only makes me wonder why she’s not having the same experience as I am, that they’re not making her miss me 🙁
Hi guys. I posted this earlier and I’m sorry it’s quite long but I’ve been following your comments and there’s lots of very good advice.
I would be VERY grateful for any form of feedback or advice from any of you as to how to try and reconnect with my ex….Hello
I was wondering if any of you lovely people could give me some advice?
I am about to get to about 30 days NC (apart from one email i sent just before xmas which was an email she sent me last christmas telling me how excited she was to be spending christmas with me and how happy her life was)She has not contacted me and we havent spoke since the 5 december when she deleted me as a freind from facebook and the impression i get is that she really wants to move on. I have seen her profiles on dating sites like POF and zoosk etc saying she is actively looking for a relationship.
I am thinking of carrying on NC untill about 45 days and then i am not sure how to reconnect????
…Some advice says to send a txt something like “reminding her a tv programme we both liked to watch is coming on or asking her where a restaurant we ate at once is located something like that. and other advice is to write a short letter to her to say sorry how things ended but now i am ready to move on and i hope we can be friends??What is the best thing to do? She is quite a stubborn person and i know she left me because towards the end of our relationship i got into a slump and she realised she could maybe do better. we had been going out for 3 years a living together for 2. Things only started going downhill in the last 4-6months of the relationship.
Any advice would be very much appreciated.
Many Thanks
TomHey Confusedbutok
I had a similar experience a couple of months ago. Went on dates with 2 different girls and both of them fell flat and lack chemistry. After each date I also just missed my Ex that much more. There is nothing wrong with that and if you feel you need more time healing your broken heart then do so. Its a tough place to be and I’m still there and its not losing progress…as long as you don’t ring up your Ex and cry to her over the phone
What can make it worst is knowing your Ex has moved on and found new love so easily. My Ex found a new boyfriend from the first person she dated after the breakup and they are apparently very happy together. They have been together nearly 3 months now and I’m still left wondering when will it be my turn
Hi, This is my first day of NC, but I’ve tried it in past relationships and ended up moving on…
I was with my boyfriend for about 3.5 months and we spent everyday together except maybe three. He goes to my school and is in my classes so it’s really rough for me to avoid him. Basically when school starts back on Monday I’m not going to engage in any conversation and if he tries to talk to me I’m just going to tell him that I think that’s innapropriate. The big kicker here, his mom is the teacher in the class we share. Luckily our semester is coming to a close in about two weeks, but I’m worried about it being awkward.
Another issue I’m having with him is that when I try to go back I’m not sure how. He’s blocked my number. Blocked my snapchat. He’s pretty much blocked everything. I will admit I did all five of the things mentioned not to do and I do regret them. We’ve been broken up for about two weeks now, but I’m so worried for Monday. Can anyone help ease my anxiety?NC – Day 2 (Round 3)
@SodiumCHappy New Year to you too! Its nice to hear from you again. Keep us posted on how you get along.
Hey Everyone,
After breaking my NC on 2nd I restarted it again but I am not sure if I should attempt false friendship or just NC. So far I am aware that she is seeing someone but she has asked him to give her some time on her own during the holidays (from 27th dec till now).
I feel like contacting her again today but I am not sure if I should do it. Last time I spoke to her I rang her up in response to a email she sent. The calls duration was for 9m 30s; kept my cool and did not beg or do anything stupid.
@Rnh
Well you can’t do NC so its Limited contact for you. My guess is that both of you are in high school so he might just being going through a phase…give him some time. You could try and make him a bit jealous by being friendly to other guys in a weeks time…but you have to be careful with it; its called covert jealousy.Round 1 (18 days) Failed – acted desperate.
Round 2 (15 days) Kept my cool when I broke it.I’m reaching a week of my NC round 2 and this is usually my breaking point where I feel I have to “fight” for her and send a text.
Could really use some inspiration now. The logical part of me thinks letting too much time go will just make her forget about me and focus on other guys 🙁
I feel the same.
I really feel like I would like to have a chat with her…any reason why I should not?
She’ll know she could have you whenever she wants unfortunately which won’t make her want you at all and then she can’t miss you/feel a loss.
We have to go against logic but it’s hard.
Well said! But I am aware that she is seeing someone else; though it seems like they are not talking to each other over the holidays (her choice). She is at home at the moment and I am guessing she would be feeling a bit lonely now. My call would indeed cheer her up hence I am not sure should I cheer her up or not.
I think everyone would suggest let her be, let her wonder about you. Unless you’ve gone 30 days NC I’d say it’s for the best you don’t call.
It’s tough but just remember in most cases people only realize something’s value when it’s gone. So be valuable.
In these cases you have to do opposite of what your instincts suggest.
What helps me is to think “she’s dead” little morbid but in that scenario there’s no way you could ever reach out. Helps gives you the push to keep moving forward.
What you are saying is absolutely right? We broke up at the end of October and since then I have had 2 rounds of properly no contact; the first for 18 days and the other for 15 days. I am worried that she might move on…and seek comfort from this new guy.
I am on round 3 at the moment – day 2. We date for 3 years and 8 months but have known each other for 4 years.
I am her first boyfriend and she is 22 years.
stfu im tired of my email being spammed up cuz this shit
i was once on here upset and bitching like the rest of you
i moved on and so did life
Moving on is easy, getting your ex back is hard.
We all are in this because we care.
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