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Posts
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Day 17… This is not getting easier… I still see him everytime I close my eyes.. Not knowing anything is a terrible torture… My mind goes into bad places.. I see him loving another girl.. I see him happy with her.. That should make me happy? But why do I feel that stabbing pain in my chest? I miss him so much I can’t breathe.. And he’s planning a separate future from mine.. Liar.. A friggin liar.. “we’ll be together forever” my butt
Why do I want him back so much..? God I need a time machine :'(Hi guys,
Coming up for 15 days into NC (half way through) and it is going fairly well. I will wait to see if this gets any replies before explaining my situation entirely but for the moment I thought I would ask when does an ex normally start contacting you? I am starting to get a little worried that she has made absolutely no attempt at contacting me (even a Facebook like for example) despite us ending relatively well and her claiming she wants us to remain close with the possibility of trying again in the future. Any opinions are appreciated!
Mine contacted me after 18 days although part of me is now left feeling that I wish she hadnt have bothered.
Why is that @Sparky?
@Rinitan I just feel lost. I don’t know whether it is worth me pursuing or not. We haven’t spoken in the last 48hrs again and I am left wondering if what she has said means anything.
See my previous posts for my full story.
I’m totally lost. I love her to bits and have no idea what to do for the best anymore. I feel paralysed!
@Sparky I hear you man, 18 days for me would January 1st so I do not think I will hear from her then as it would be to significant a date. Is it safe to assume that if your 30 days are up and your ex does not contact you, then there is no chance?
After 30 days, are you not supposed to create a false friendship? Texting how they are, what are they up too…..building it up slowly until they have trust. If no response then leave it another 30 days.
It depends how much you want to chase it and what kind of relationship you had and for how long. The shorter the relationship then the less history you have between you to keep you together.@Belle I guess so. I will be straight with you, we were together for only 3 months but it was one of those times where we became intimate literally the moment we met. She literally phoned me up one Sunday morning saying we needed to meet, where she was almost crying saying that she did not want lose our relationship which to her seemed perfect to her if it was a year ago or year in the future but right now she had to focus on her studies. I totally understood (still do) and let her go.
A couple of days later I had a crisis that was nothing to do with her, however I went to her naturally (stupid I know) seeing how close we had become. She was lovely and I got a bit carried away in the moment so asked her if there was a chance we would try again in the future to which she said maybe. She seemed so casual and not bothered despite how she was at the break up only a few days before. The weirdest part is that was 15 days ago, and despite her saying how she wanted us to stay close has made no attempt at contacting me. Any thoughts?
Day 18 of NC
I’ve decided that I don’t want my ex back. I’m still coming here for support though, as I don’t feel in the right place to communicate with him yet. I’m still dealing with conflicting emotions. I may even try to go for 60 days of NC, we’ll see.
He messaged me a week ago (this was the 2nd time,he messages every 7-8 days) and I told him (again) to give me time and space. He keeps pushing me to talk to him and it’s frustrating that he isn’t respecting my boundaries.
It’s also a constant struggle dealing with all the outsiders. Anyone else have that problem? I’ve about had it with people (family, friends, etc.) trying to give unsolicited advice about what they think I should do right now.
Marcus1
Sometimes when relationship happen too quickly you don’t see things properly. It’s lust. It can burn out pretty quick but the attraction is probably still there.
Because it happened quickly she might be unsure of her feelings towRds you now.Give it some time and drop her a text to maybe keep a friendship going and see where it goes.
Learn by the experience and if things don’t work out with her, next girl that comes along take it slow to build up solid foundations.
Nell
Can’t help I’m afraid. I wish my ex would contact me! As for family and friends, they will soon enough keep quiet!@Belle He isn’t messaging to get back together or to be nice. He wants to talk about the specifics of how we are going to part ways (we are married). I asked for time because we haven’t even been broken up for a whole month yet and I haven’t come to terms with everything. He keeps rushing me and pushing me to do things his way. :/
I sure hope so! Thanks for responding. 🙂
Nell,
Sounds like early days. Have you asked him what the hurry is? Does he have someone else do you think?
I would communicate to him telling him that you’re finding it hard to adjust so quickly, I guess you’ve done this already though.
So sorry for what you’re going through, I send a big hug to you. You will come out the other side a stronger better person. I promise you that.
@Belle Thanks for the advice, you could be right potentially. It did all happen very quickly but I took that as a good sign that the relationship was very natural which meant we were a perfect fit. She said the main reason was due to her needing to concentrate on her studies, so do I not make a move until April?
Very confused that she was so into the relationship up until that day before completely taking a u-turn in showing any sort of affection. However as I was half way through NC, I allowed myself to have a quick look at her Facebook where it actually appeared like she was not having a great time so not sure what to make of that either.
Hey Everyone!
NC – day 12
Would you guys wish your ex’s on new years if they wish you first?
I ex texted me merry christmas and I just ignored it 🙁 I do not know if that was the right thing to do.
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Also my ex officially hooked up on the 18th december with a guy she fancied (she broke up with me for him on the 22nd oct.) I have been in no contact since so its NC day 12.
Though I have been on NC I have been stalking her using technology, irregularly…I have reduced it and I am feeling much better with most of her out of my mind.Today I woke feeling terrible and did some further stalking and found this note “I know a few weeks have passed, but I still feel hurt over how you delt with the situation with your ex, other things too. I think I need some time on my own this holiday.” This is directed towards her new boyfriend…I am not sure what to make of it.
Both are back home for holidays and they are very very far apart in terms of location. Their usually mode of communication is whatsapp which died completely after 27th december.
I do not know why I am searching for hope -.-
Any thoughts on this would help.
@Martin I would most definitely contact my Ex back if she contacted me first over New Year’s. Why wouldn’t you? Anything else could be game over I feel. NC is about working on yourself to make yourself strong enough for a fake friendship, a real friendship or to decide to cut all ties completely.
You can always start a fresh NC period if you feel that you have made an error later on, but also remember that we only are likely to have a certain number of chances at anything. The more we mess up the less likely things are going to turn out in the way that we hope for.
Good luck and all the best in 2015 to you.
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