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Yes. Its been 12 days now. They still look happy together. Sigh. Its so hard. And i feel like i donr have any hope to have him again
Hey everyone I am on day 17 of nc, I actually started this before seeig this website, so had done maybe 11 days or more. I am finding it ok, well hard because we have been in a long distance relationship for 6 months not seeing each other at all because of being in different countries after my visa expired and I came home to save money before we started a life together. He kissed a girl and broke up with me and they have been in a relationship since that day of the kiss which is like 19 days now.
I think its a rebound relationship because there was no gap between me and him breaking up and him starting his relationship with her. She is 7 years younger than him and fairly different to me and no plan for the future and they have both being studying in Australia and will return to their home countries and he is already planning to go to hers for Christmas getting a visa etc, moving fast (another rebound symptom).
I just feel sad about him dating her (she was my friend) and hoping they will break up but not sure when it will happen. Its only 19 days they have been together, he has deactivated his fb, he posts no photo’s of her to his instagram but she has been posting a number of the 2 of them and he ‘likes’ them. He has been distant from his family and not telling them everything but they know about the girl ans they are very angry with him and what he is doing to me. Everyone says this is not him, not his normal behaviour. Think the distance and missing me then uni stress and this girl hanging around has created the situation plus we argued a couple times.
I am thinking we are at the death doors stage and wonder what to do after the 30 days no contact, especially if they are still dating? ????
I have heard she doesn’t have money to go to Ecuador so think it would be hard for there relationship to continue but I still worry and worry in case he still doesn’t want me despite us having a great relationship and him messaging me lovely message’s right up until the night before the break up.Advice needed from people and Kevin if possible please
Hi Everyone,
Day 18 of NC.
I am not sure how ready I am to contact her again; tbh I doubt I ever will be. I started panicking a bit yesterday and the only two places I open up are here (this forum) and to a friend who lives several thousand miles away.
I still feel broken even though she broke up with me exactly 2 months ago from today. Another hit to my life is that this all occurred in a very tough period; I have just moved cities (same city as my ex; I basically moved for her) and started a new job. Some might says its actually a good time but when you lack thick friends around the timing is hard. People always want what they don’t have. You cannot have freedom and belonging; its one or the other. So far I feel like I do not belong anywhere yet but I am still trying. I do still relapse but the duration of it is much shorter.
I keep feeling like I might have missed an opportunity with her by having ignored the text at the same time I doubt it would have happened then either. My ex is going to start her exams today and it ends tomorrow. From then she would be free to hangout with the new guy (I think they are casually dating) even more. My ex suggested to have a movie night and set the location to be a cafe but that guy insisted to watch it in his room…I am not sure what is going to happen then. If they do get physical I do not know if she will ever come back to me or I can ever be with her.
I do not know where I stand in an emotional level but I do want to get back with my ex. I miss her and love her a lot.
12 days is still a bit early; wait for a few more days and see how it is.
Hey guys,
I was thinking of deleting some posts I have made before about/to/with my ex just to I dont remove some memories of her. Do you guys think it looks bitter on my side? Anyway, as I was about to delete I read all of it and damn it still makes me smile and happy and at the same time sad knowing that those were the days and now we’re not together. I don’t know if I want to delete it or not. Its the only reminder of the good times that we had and knowing that what happened between us is real.
I would not do that but this is a personal opinion. I would just not read it and keep it out of sight for the time being.
@Nell: yes they are, i am not just angry im furious, honestly. I told them its not fair.. they are sticking with him so he can forget about my existence,we all know he still loves me…but they want to help him get over cause they are sure he wont be with me anymore-as he said… they dont care that he actually also feels bad just that hes good at hiding it and i… just cant sigh. yesterday i played along with our mutual friends, and seemed positive and talked about everything else, just not him. and then one friend sended me a text that i tried hard, and thats good and to keep it up and we will get along great. Pfft i ask them to tell me if he is doing okay and so, and they tell him im hoping to get back together… day 11….. its getting harder and easier at same time. i wanna convince myself we are both better off without each other – but my gut is telling me its not true. he and i are just… perfect match if he’d only saw our differences as a+ and not -.
Yah 12 days of Nc is still early and they been together like almost 8 weeks now. Sigh. Im so upset they still look good and so happy. Im targeting to contact my nc soon im so nervous
Maybe u can short your nc till 21 days only? Hows your day? Is there any interesting and new hapen on u? Maybe u can update a bit in social media. Is she contact u anything?
@ Martin
Thanks for replying immediately. It’s been 7 months since the break up and I am still not moving on honestly speaking. I don’t know what else to do. I am doing an indefinite NC and it is really really hard and sad.
@athens: oh wow, 7 months ago and you’re still trying.. that means u truly love her.. how long have you been following the NC? Btw i do the same, about reading our conversations and memorizing everything, it makes me smile and remember the good times and then remember that these are over and im totally miserable then… it would be best if i dont delete the text, but i keep on reading them which isnt a good idea… i know how u feel about this.. it hurts..
@ Tami420
I probably say yes, I really do love her. Sometimes I think I’m being stupid loving her because you know I have assessed our relationship but even though there are a lot bad things I still want to be with her. It’s been 5 months since the last I contacted her. Originally, I planned on doing a 3 month NC but I haven’t bounce back yet so right now it’s indefinite I’m not really sure if I will ever break the NC since I don’t know how to do it. Well, I deleted the text messages because there are bad memories I could still find there. And yeah, it’s nice to read them back again because you’ll start to feel the love you two shared but when you’re done reading it’ll hit you really really hard and know that it is over.
I understand and I have not deleted my ex’s picture or the conversations. The more recent ones were deleted due to phone issue but I have all our conversations from the very beginning. What I have done is made back ups of it and stored it in my computer. This way I do not reminisce to much in the past. I still have all her pictures in my phone and sometimes I accidentally end up going through it in search of something else. I need to move that too. If things do not go well (hopefully it does); it would still be nice to look back and remember this time.
Also personally I believe that you need differences and similarities. As similarities brings people together and differences makes us interesting for each other.
@aryyan
Today my day has been a bit tough. I am afraid of the things that could happen from mid-week when they get some more free time. I have been going out a lot and just trying to enjoy myself. I refrained from posting anything because I did not want to give her the satisfaction of knowing my whereabouts and etc. I normally do not post anything online anyways. She has tried to contact me once last monday. I will have to wait and see about what to do.Hey Everyone,
I feel weak again with the desperation to wanting to contact her again. This is result of the fear that she might actually do something with the new guy. I resisting from doing anything and going to hold myself down.
Also where is everyone from or living? country only.
What she said?
@athens: wow 5months since you contacted her last? well this is probably good, she will maybe totally forget about the bad things and when you contact her , if you do, it might go smoothly for you to… and start on new… you are strong willed which is great, but it has to be panful you keep her in her head everyday and dont get anything from her or you cant give anything to her… all you do is resist the urge to not text her… you’ve done great till now, keep it up. and when you are ready contact her, if u really wish to have her back you will end the nc when u’re ready.. and you need to start talking something interesting and so..and not mention ur previous relationship 🙂
@martin: yeah i feel you.. i still have videos of him snoring haha lmao, and i have his pictures on phone and on computer… and fb messages and i go read them and ..uhhh i feel lovely reading them.. it makes me nostlagic and sad. but i at least know he wasnt always unhappy with me /under stress cause of me…
hey, fight off the urge to text her ! its hard i know, but really if she has a new guy atm, she needs to realize this isnt working and if you text her now you will only make her go further away… she needs to see you can be ok without her.. i jnderstand it is hard… but still, you need to give urself time and her… so she will miss you, eventually she will remember you and the places she will go to, where u used to be together… i believe in you and you can resist the urge.. just really dont give up !
Martin I am from Slovenia 🙂 and you?
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i wanted to delete all, but i couldnt delete the ones where he wrote he loves me and a heart and the ones we were joking around.. and the last text he sended me on decmeber 3th which was; we will see eachother tomorrow so we end our story, i cant anymore….” sigh this text kills me… and i hope he deleted all of our textes cause we had issues in betwen and i was… ohmy i dont even want to think about what i’ve written to him at some times and some points… if he goes reading them im sure he passes by all the good texts and reads the ones that made him go away, so he would have bad memories about me… or idk.. i have a new phone and i just putted some texts from SIM card to my new phone… about 10. only from him .. so i can read before i go to sleep when he said good night,i love you.<3 :* and the morning text when i woke up when a text made my day : <3 or i miss you <3… sigh and this is gone.. all of this is gone now. we all need to stay strong, focus on yourselves , try to be happy without them,while hoping we get another chance to be happy with them again@ Martin
I also had some back ups of her picture and other conversations we had. There’s this saying that let go of the things we can’t control because it will only control us something like that. I feel that you should stop you know thinking about your ex and this guy.
@ Tami420
Thank you for your words. I really felt strong by the things you’ve said. And yeah I hope that every thing that has happened and all the wrong (creepy) things I have done will be removed from her. But knowing her, she has this kind of attitude where she always try to bring everything from the past when she’s mad or whenever we’re arguing. Even though we’ve settled some of it she will still mention it. I just do hope she’ll change and will give us another chanceShe texted me asking if she could ring. I keep feeling that I lost a chance there.
One thing I noticed is that before I started NC, I kept going visiting her (without her consent) hence making her want to be with the other guy even more. When I realised this and found this website I started NC. I wish I had done this a lot earlier though.
@tami420
I am from the UK. She does not have a boyfriend but she likes this guy and broke up with me because she has a crush on him. I am not sure where they stand at the moment.She has been making after exams plans with him which hurts me a lot because usually she would do this with me.
@Athens
You are absolutely right but it is not easy to stop thinking about some you truly love and have spent a great deal of time with.
From what it seems she misses the memories she have had with me so she is trying to do them with him.
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