Boards No Contact Rule No Contact Annoymous – Share your struggles with keeping NC

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Viewing 15 posts - 1,861 through 1,875 (of 1,931 total)
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  • #51265
    all one
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 40

    Day 33.

    It’s as if we’ve never been together. Time really did its magic.
    I’m still mourning from time to time, but not after him, but memories. It’s the memories that I miss the most. We really had a good time and lots of fun.

    Truth to be told, I hope he still thinks about me. Secretly, I wish he called. But I wouldn’t answer even if he did. I’m on my new path and nothing shall compromise it. I finally feel at peace and even- happy.

    I really needed this time off, this detoxication, cold turkey… my mind was going wild. I was realy so, so miserable last few months that I spent with him. I cried almost daily, and he made me sob nearly everytime when we were together. He really knew how to push all the wrong buttons. Nothing was good enough- nothing. He criticized everything. My whole lifestyle, my whole persona, my parents, my way of doing things… everything!!!

    Person that I loved the most turned to be my worst enemy. Someone who was supposed to be my shelter from the outside world become my tormentor who undermined my self-esteem daily and criticized my every move. And I almost believed him.

    Not when it’s over I can breath freely.

    There’s no way in hell I’m going back to him. I won’t call him or contact him ever again. If he calls, I won’t answer my phone.

    Like we never existed.

    #51285
    Lkleinh
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 15

    Day 1 no contact.

    I have a emptiness in the pit of my stomach that I cannot describe. I am at deaths door. please see my post for the story. I could really use some encouragement.

    #51374
    all one
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 40

    WTF is wrong with me?!

    I thought I was over him, when all of the sudden I have I dream where we kiss and make up… which ruined my day. I was sad all day long… thinking about that dream, about him, about the memories…

    My brain is always working against me. My brain is an f***ing asshole.

    I wish tomorrow will be different.

    I was so proud of myself for doing so well, and now this…

    Argh!

    #51382
    nellybell86
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2

    Hi everyone,

    This is such a fantastic idea!
    Well I guess I’d have to say I’m on Day 0 to be honest, I found out this morning that I am going to be a great Aunty again (yay!) and felt the need to message my ex on FB to let him know. And of course I am probably going to be checking Facebook ALL DAY to see if he’s read the message, though I doubt even if he does, that he will reply. Already I am thinking about when I am going to see him, he works as a bartender at the local pub that ALL my friends go to, and I think, well if I go down Friday night with the girls, he’ll be working, so at least I can just look at his face again πŸ™ but NO!! I am going to have to muster up every last shred of dignity and strength NOT to do that, but I know I need to! It is especially hard for me every fortnight, as I have a 6 year old son who goes to his Dad’s house every 2nd week, so for a whole week I am home, alone. Next week will be my first week home alone during this new NC time. It is going to be a tough one. My mum has offered to come and stay with me a couple of nights, so I think I’ll take her up on that offer just to keep occupied, and I really want to start going to the gym again (to re-vamp my image for the ‘positive changes’ part when we catch up again!), so I think next week will be a big time for me to get into doing that, so hopefully when my son returns to me the week after, and I’m getting into the 2nd week of NC, I might be feeling better about myself and be a bit stronger to handle it. It is also especially hard as I live 1 street away from his best friend, and only across the main road from his house, so I am constantly seeing him drive past in his mates car, or bumping into them at the local supermarket. Augh!
    Any advice to get through the first initial days of NC when emotions are running highest would be extremely appreciated, I am glad I have my son with me at the moment, kinda helps me to keep it together, knowing I still have to look after him and be mum and keep myself together infront of him.

    #51423
    nellybell86
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2

    Had a bad day today, feeling really sorry for myself. Came home from dropping my son at school, had a shower, changed into fresh pjs, and spent the day on the couch. Augh I don’t like having days like this πŸ™
    I wrote him a letter, just to get everything out, how I’m feeling, what he’s done, what a damn idiot I think he’s being, just vented everything out in it. I’ve saved it on my computer, so if I feel the need in the future to send it to him, I will, but obviously in the emotional state I’m in at the moment it’s quite full on, so maybe after a few weeks I may look at it again and delete it or change it if I still want to send it to him. It’s so hard to stick to no contact, even for one day, I am still thinking of going out tomorrow night just to see him, I know for a fact he’ll be working, but then again the last time I went, I turned into an emotional wreck after a couple of drinks and ended up crying in the middle of the pub. Not a good look! My friend has invited me over for dinner tomorrow night, so I’ll go there instead and have a good vent/cry, and I have a party on Saturday to go to, so at least that will keep the next couple of days busy. I’m just worried already how I will go next week when I don’t have my son and am here on my own. I am already contemplating just getting in my car and driving, as far as it will take me, I just want to get away, from this house, from this town, from everything that reminds me of him. I just wish he would contact me, that I would still get some sign from him that he wants to talk to me/see me, that I’m on his mind somehow. I’m sure I am, not that he would admit it to me though.

    #51439
    Franknj
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 7

    Day 11 of NC
    Day 36 of being dumped

    3 weeks after breaking up with me after a 2.5 year committed relationship, she contacted me. She thanked me for giving her space but she’s decided that she really has an issue with being in a long term committed relationship. (we’re both divorced). She told me she’s been having a really hard time with the breakup but needs to do this. To get help and figure out what is wrong with her. I then saw her for 10 minutes when we did our item exchange. She was colder then, but she did manage to say she worries that she may regret this decision. And then on the other hand she told me that I’m such a wonderful man that I will meet someone who wants the same things in a relationship that I do.

    That was 11 days ago. I did break NC though by liking a photo she posted of her son, who I miss too. Afterwards I felt so stupid, I went back on and she had already been online and probably saw it, so I just left it.

    If I need to add a few days, I will. Besides, with it really being more about her issues, she might need more than 30 days. I really don’t know.

    #51440
    Franknj
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 7

    The line about your brain is a f’ing ahole really made me laugh. You’re doing great. Don’t let those thoughts deter you. You were not in a healthy relationship and you deserve real love and to be number one in someone’s life.

    #51486
    sri
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 117

    Hi
    I have already broken one no contact in 15 days :p i was feeling very weak and emotional..
    Now i again have started the no contact and its my 6th day….
    No contact is seriously very hard because all you want is your ex and you have to cut him out for so long…
    I get scared sometimes that what if he moves on..what if he finds someone else..what if i’ll no longer be his priority….
    I dont know why deep in my heart i still have the feeling that he loves me but is irritated with me because of the fights we had πŸ™ and we were in a long distance for 1 year which is responsible for everything..before that everything was so perfect..but these 6months have been horrible…i know i can learn to live without him i can survive without him..i can date other guy also but every time i see any guy his face comes in front of me because i love him so much…sometimes i feel like begging fighting with him and tell him how much i love him..but i cant do that πŸ™ it was so beautiful πŸ™

    #51493
    gonebananas
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 3

    Thank you for starting this thread.

    i am currently on day 9 of No contact with my ex girlfriend.

    Yesterday while I was surfing Instagram I came across a picture of a mutual friend of ours in Vegas and what do you know, there is my ex in the picture. At first, I was confused on how I was feeling. Am I supposed to be mad or jealous that she is in Vegas a week after we broke up? Is this as her way of moving forward? Should I like the photo? Do I text her? But when I thought about it more I actually was relieved. It gave me insight as to why we may have broken up in the first place. I now know I can think rationally without completely giving into my emotions.

    This gave me the wake up call I needed to stop and continue with my life. I have been back in the gym for the past two weeks and have been staying active and meeting new people. I have a date this Saturday where I hope I can convince myself that I can live without my ex. I am going to continue with no contact and stick to plan. Thank you Kevin for giving me a path to follow.

    Wish me luck

    #51511
    Lkleinh
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 15

    Day 3 I am struggling with no contact. He is with a new gf for 2 months now I was almost successful breaking them up cause she found out about me but unfortunately they only broke up for a day or 2. This is why he will not speak to me now. I was kinda in the friend zone before the run in with the new gf. I am so worried if I stop contact he will move on and not look back. I don’t know if I should wright a letter or just give it some more time. I don’t think I can last a whole 30 days. We have so many unresolved issues to take care of. I am not confident this will work. He will grow closer to her & forget about me. We did not have 5 years of bliss. There were ups & downs, fights, short breakups but he always came back to me. This time she is in the picture. I am so worried.

    #51515
    Galaxy2
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 7

    DAY 12

    nothing, seems like 8 years of living with someone and experiencing everything together means very little. the structure is coming together but poorly. as the system gets more complex it becomes even more unstable.

    #51585
    sri
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 117

    Day 8
    Feeling so weird..m so scared that my ex will start dating someone else πŸ™ this feeling is killing me
    Sometimes i feel like calling him and shouting at him …but i wont do that…i’ll try to control my emotions first become super cool then i’ll talk to him.one day

    #51595
    all one
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 40

    Day 40/ almost 41

    I had nervous breakdown today. I’m all blue and purple and my throat hurts from screaming and head from crying and hurting all the time.

    I can’t go on like this.

    I’m thinking into checking myself in a mental hospital.

    #51597
    Letty_
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 26

    @all one

    Keep yourself busy :/
    please don’t stress yourself.
    I know…”easier said than done”
    My NC is killing me too. But please try keeping yourself busy. it probably won’t hurt as much as checking yourself in a mental hospital if you do.

    #51599
    all one
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 40

    Letty, I am keeping myself busy, I’m studying for two major exams (law) and am taking care of my two dogs and granny while parents are on holiday, but today I broke under the pressure. I’m more relaxed at the moment, but it was really really bad.

    I have to start practicing yoga or meditation or something. This will eat me alive.

Viewing 15 posts - 1,861 through 1,875 (of 1,931 total)
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