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Me and my bf were together for a year and a half. We were planning to get marry next year but because of my family cultural issue. He is European and im asian. He decided to stop marriage plan, but he doesnt want to break up with me said he needs time… We are still in relationship but it’s like we are breaking up because he doesnt call, or text me back with cold feeling. I was forced to accepted but it is so hurtful that he has changed how he feels about me now. Im not sure if No Contact rule applies to this situation as well.
But why he doesnt break up with me BUT ask me for time, time for decision whether we might be together and get marry or time to plan for break up…
He said he doesnt know what he wants now.. Is there still hope, please i want him back in my life.That’s a tough spot to be in because it leaves you out in limbo. However, don’t reward his cold behavior with your attention. I would certainly suggest that you do the 30 days no contact. It’ll give both of you perspective on if you really want this relationship or not. He seems to be confused at the moment and by being without you for 30 days it’ll give him a chance to possibly miss you. There’s always hope, but be prepared that it could go both ways. I wish you luck, stay focused and formulate a plan.
Thank you for giving me some advices, cjo3. I really have a hope but I will try to move on as well. Do you think i can still texting his mom, like i always do or that has to be stopped too? He is hanging out with his best friend and talked a lot to him. I have a thought of contacting his friend and talk to him to get some more idea of what my bf is thinking, but im afraid that will even push my bf to break up with me completely.
It is not easy this 30 days, what did i do so wrong to deserve this punishment from him…?I would not try to contact his friend. Anything you say will almost certainly get back to him. It goes against the idea of the 30 days no contact. You want him to think that you’re completely fine with out him at the moment. Don’t look at it as a punishment. Look at it as an opportunity to take 30 days to work on yourself and improve yourself.
As for contacting his mom, I’m not sure about if you should contact her. I’d probably suggest not contacting her. I would think talking to with her would be a constant reminder of your boyfriend, thus making the 30 days harder. Plus things would likely get back to him. I wish you luck.
Thanks, Ill take all your advice. I started NC for 3 days now. As Im getting to feel better, sometimes quiet at night I couldnt help to wonder the result. He texted me telling everything what he did for the day, and I didnt reply … It’s hard and i thought of replying in the cold same way he did, but whats the point.
That will get me back to fall in pain again. What says you?Hi everyone, hope all of you doing well and remain in positive hope.
Just to update what happened from my last post.
Finally, he came around and we talked after 1 week of NC – he wanted to end our relationship. He doesnt want to go through this culteral shock again and it will be best for both of us. He even said if we were married then he wanted to divorce..
I didnt expect he was going to give up so easily! It’s not like we lie to each other or cheat on each other like most break-up cases. Anyway, he brought back my stuff but keep some which were my gifts.
I knew this was coming.
I didnt beg, plead but talked him through that year. Our conversation eventually came to the end. Then it just happened that I reminded him no matter where he is going to settle in the world. I will move, our kids will move, and MiCi (my cat) will move too. Said I told my mom and this will happen.
He looked at me surprisingly and said why didnt I told him that before.
I said I did but he was already pulling away and I didnt want to disrespect his ‘time’. He suddenly kissed me and said he will fight for our relationship but he needs to talk to his brother and he needs more time. I said I understand so I am now giving him another time to rewind.
I dont know how this going to turn out later, but I have this smallest hope that
things will work out slowly.
Shall I apply NC? But we discussed we didnt have to do that.
So we text but keep it distant and nothing personal.
He said he needs few days, but my feeling says he is going to take longer.
I will continue to focus on myself. I already lost 6kgs weight and picked up new hobby, changed hair style and color. Some positive response has been recognised!
I really need this to work out and hopefully we can continue our relationship and pick ourselves up from where we left.
I truely hope that we will get back by Christmas!Anyone has this experience? Please share!
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