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well we went 2 weeks with out talking and in that time he was angry in the voice mail he left me and he would text me to try to get a reaction from me but he figured it didn’t work and then recently just last week he stalk me. I know he was texting that girl though, so I don’t know how he truly feels. 🙁 we were talking because of my car being messed up, and the other day for one moment on the phone because of a dog were trying to get rid of, but we never spoke anything personal. so maybe this is week 3 and I may see him today since it’s his day off and he may come by to see our kids or something. that day we spoke about the dog he called me twice and then I haven’t heard anything from him since then, but I checked the house phone and it seems that he has called, maybe to talk to his mother, I have no clue and would need to ask her if she’s spoken to him. man I really miss him and want to quit this. In the letter im not sure what to write but I was thinking of following the guide, but am scared that if he reads” I accept the break up” whatever it is that he’s gonna think oh so were done/over now and he’ll go on to get the divorce, or start dating or something. I’m very scared to send that part, which is why I was thinking texting him instead, but I wouldn’t know what to text him, I wanna hang out with him again but am scared of rejection which makes me think I should write the letter, but then again like I said I’m scared to do it, so what do you think I should do? thanks
It’s a tough situation. For right now, I think you shouldnt send him the letter or text him. Keep the “no contact” for longer time – at this point I think you’re still too emotional for anything good to come out of you contacting him and also, I think he needs a bit more space. This meaning that he still needs to miss you some more before you open up your heart to him. I would say, for sure do not contact him/email/text until you’ve been out on a date!
If you do decide to contact him (which i think you shouldnt yet), I don’t think you should write in the letter “i accept the break up”. You’re not at the stage where you’re accepting the break up, so dont lie and tell him you are – nothing good will come of it.
You need to turn the tables and be the one in power and making him jealous and giving him the cold shoulder will have him come back.yes it is really tough and it hurts, you make a lot of sense, so you think that by going out on a date I’ll gain power and make him jealous? what if he starts dating that girl, im scared I’ll lose him forever. and if I was to go out on a date is he suppose to find out and how?
also how much longer do you think I should wait before contacting him? and what should I do when he comes around? I really wish he would tell me he wants me back, but I know he wont. I feel like im losing him forever. 🙁 this is really hard. thanks
If he starts dating that girl, she will be just a rebound! He’ll be with her for 2 reasons, 1 for sex and the other to make you jealous so do not worry about her.
I think by going on a date, you’ll do something good for yourself, he’ll see that you’re trying to move on with your life, he’ll get jealous and from all this, he’ll start missing you even more.
If you go out on a date, he doesn’t need to find out but he most likely will. At first he might just get angry with you, but don’t worry, it’ll be shortlived.
I think you need to wait to contact him for at least 12 days – and for sure not before you’ve been out on a date. If and when he comes around, be very casual, only speak of the kids/car etc and do not be the one to keep the conversation going. Be nice but also standoffish.He will eventually come back around, but you need to show him that you won’t take all this shit. From what you’re doing now, you’re winning him back, not loosing him! 🙂 It’s super super hard, but remember that you’re a strong independant woman, and you will get him back!
wow this is very scary, and very hard but your right, after I contact him what should I do? Should I write him that letter or should I text him? and what should I say? Also I am talking with someone, but of course only as friends, lol theres other’s that I may be able to talk to as well. lets see what happens of course I only want my husband. 🙂
Yes, but don’t tell your husband that or any of the men your texting 🙂
It’s hard to say at this point – wait and see what happens (how he acts) the next week or so because it seems as though you two will see each other and lots of things can happen. Maybe in 12 days, you need to wait 12 days more. You should probably text him, but it depends what you want to tell him.. 🙂
your right, lots of things can happen,but I feel like he isn’t going to make a move. I feel scared. so what your saying is wait this week to see how he’s acting then act from there? so wait 12 days before contacting him? so you think I should still go on a date or will that savatage me? so wait 12 days more after the first 12 days that I contact him? and when should I text him and what should I say? also dont tell my husband or any of the other men what? that im texting all of them? lol
He might not make a move just yet, which is also why you need to give him more time. If you dont give him enough time, he might just reject you.
No matter what, you still need to go on a date!
For right now, wait 12 days to contact him. If nothing has changed, dont contact him and wait 12 more days from there. What do you want to write him in the text/letter?yeah I think your right, it’s hard waiting for the right time to contact them and knowing when the perfect time is right. this is so hard. yeah I don’t think he will make a move, maybe none at all. I wonder though if he’s happy or waiting for me to make a move first? but I wont, not till after, messaging him first. well I really would like to avoid saying anything about the break up or that I accept it, for starters. I don’t wanna take a risk there. I wouldn’t know what exactly to write. would you have any suggestions? Also are you gonna do the going out on a date as well?
I’m gonna do just that, it’s hard waiting when wanting to contact him and not being able too, but what if he contacts me. he would call me but never leaves messages. just in case he does.
I’m gonna try and see if I can get a date. I think it’s a good thing. I’d prefer to go with my ex but I’m gonna try and follow some parts of the 5 step plan.
If you don’t want to talk to your husband about the break up/relationship then maybe write something lighthearted like “just went to … it reminded me of you and put a smile on my face”..
When I’m done with my 30 days, I’m thinking of leaving a letter in my ex’s mailbox with 2 football tickets with a note saying “You might not remember, but back when we met I promised you these tickets. Back then they were sold out but now i managed to get a hold of 2. I hope you’ll bring me.”
wow it would be nice to go on a date with someone you know, I wish I had a friend but I don’t. lol I like your text idea and I love your letter idea. My husband lives with his sister in her town home so I don’t have a way of getting a hold of his mailbox but I do know where he parks his car at work. 🙂 but my question is what are you planning on writing to him in the letter? I wish I was creative in that way. I know he loves boxing and mma so maybe i can fine tickets to an event. you just gave me this idea, lol. also what other ideas do you have? and what type of things am I suppose to talk to him about when I do see him? as I only started studying now and exercising. I wish i could start up a hobby but how?
Maybe you could get his address from your mother in law?
For my sake, I am not planning on writing anything but the “You might not remember, but back when we met I promised you these tickets. Back then they were sold out but now i managed to get a hold of 2. I hope you’ll bring me.” That will be all. I’m thinking that it will be sweet, make him smile, make me not seem desperate and by saying “i hope you’ll bring me” not demanding that he does bring me. It puts the ball in his court – if he wants to see me, then he’ll invite me to go 🙂 I hope! haha
Yes, I think that the boxing/mma will be a good thing. That way, you will have something to talk about all the time since you can always talk about what you’re watching. Also, it will create a good memory for him and he’ll be reminded of the good times you had. It also shows that you’re making an effort to make him happy. If you’ve been with him for 12 years and you have 2 children together i’m sure you’ll find something to talk about. But 1 thing you must NOT talk about is your break up/getting back together unless he brings it up. You have to be cheerful, happy = be your best self. You could start up a hobby – what stuff interests you?
Oh, I just had another idea. If my ex doenst want to take me to the football match, then i’ll do the no contact for 30 days again and then send him a huge box of m&m’s with a note saying “I know how much you love these. I hope they’ll bring a big smile to your face. Enjoy!”
When I met my ex he fell for me because I always did really sweet things for him but for the past 2 years i haven’t so I think I might get him back if I start doing it again LOL
No, unfortunately, she knows just as much info as I do. I really like your idea. very personal and creative. 🙂 If for some reason I can’t fine tickets to an event, I was thinking maybe asking him if he wants to go with me somewhere to see one, like wing house or hooters. I’ll have to check all of this out. or maybe inviting him to go to a Halloween thing at an amusement park or something, well coming up with something. what do you think? If not i may find myself having to do no contact again and I dont know how i’ll handle that. :-/ I notice you mention not to bring up the break up but if he does what am I suppose to say and/or act and do? So you would be willing to go another month with no contact? you are very brave. lol… that’s a nice way to do things. I would need to start doing that to then, and it’ll show a change side in me as well. 🙂 lol.. I love your ideas, very creative. 🙂 You wont believe what just happened to me. lol I went to the grocery store to get my med at the pharmacy. this is the store my husband works at, but I don’t know most of the people there so they don’t know who I am. my husband is off today. so I decided to go today to get my med so he wont think im stalking him, like he did to me. lol.. the kids and I were hungry so we went to the deli to have sandwiches made. when I notice a girl who caught my eye. I read the name but wanted to make sure so I told my oldest, whats her name and she told me. omg it was one of the girls my husband is talking to. I wanted to whoop her a$$ right there, but of course, I started thinking, hey I can get arrested, it’ll push my husband away, and he has part in this to as well. I notice that his department (meat) is next to hers (deli). omg what a day. she left when she notice I gave her the stank eyes,lol, but then I saw her in the front of the store, she left through the back. she was talking to a bunch of workers. ugh, but I have no idea how I contained my self. I also felt like crying but remember my husband is mine still and I need to follow the plan. ugh..lol what do you think? btw haven’t heard anything from my husband at all today. ugh
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